tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post248611333132473605..comments2023-10-22T11:45:23.103-04:00Comments on dead baby jokes: the sunk cost fallacyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-47978468912455029572007-09-30T15:36:00.000-04:002007-09-30T15:36:00.000-04:00I keep coming back to this post, and wondering wha...I keep coming back to this post, and wondering what to say. It's true, everything you wrote. <BR/><BR/>I hope that when you finally achieve everything you are hoping for, that it is worth the costs. I think it will be, but I'm on the other side, so it's hard to put myself back there and ask.Aureliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13691032415028867902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-73297611064995983902007-09-30T11:08:00.000-04:002007-09-30T11:08:00.000-04:00My logic is this: will I be disappointed with myse...My logic is this: will I be disappointed with myself in 20 years if I stopped? When do I reach the rate of failure where my future self will be able to honestly say "I tried. It did not work. I moved on." I am not there yet. It does not sound like you are, either.Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01168274495333458040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-81140527188745854892007-09-29T20:06:00.000-04:002007-09-29T20:06:00.000-04:00I understand the logic and illogic you have posed ...I understand the logic and illogic you have posed in this post. When does a person "throw in the towel" and say "enough is enough"? Under what condition(s) does a person stop? Who/what made this an "unconditional" pursuit or is it really that? How can anyone quantify the emotional investment that self-reinforces this process?<BR/><BR/>All questions one has to ask and answer individually. However, for me it would be when the effects of the process negatively affect the relationships around me, including myself, then I would start to evaluate going on. It seems to me that jepordizing those significant relationships to the point of losing them or losing myself would make me pause and take stock of what is going on. <BR/><BR/>I can never honestly know how I would do that or even if I would since I have never been in that situation. Just an outsider's view for whatever it is worth.Doughnuthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00100398955132921465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-55449772409577577112007-09-29T19:57:00.000-04:002007-09-29T19:57:00.000-04:00i've often thought of this phenomenon in terms of ...i've often thought of this phenomenon in terms of eating, but this taking it into other realms is really interestingpainted maypolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06446625015003854710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-88472082293607650822007-09-29T07:01:00.000-04:002007-09-29T07:01:00.000-04:00oh yes, niobe, this post (as most of yours) really...oh yes, niobe, this post (as most of yours) really speaks to me.Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00433861868469484062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-68618039338378359342007-09-29T00:09:00.000-04:002007-09-29T00:09:00.000-04:00Niobe, I haven't been through what you have - so I...Niobe, I haven't been through what you have - so I can't even begin to say that I understand, because I don't - we have had different experiences - but I get what you are saying. It really resonates with me - I really can feel what you are getting at. I tend to believe (but absolutely hate it when people say this to me) that things happen at just the moment when they are supposed to. This of course makes me nothing but angry. But it does feel true in my life. The moment I surrender something and stop hanging on to the idea - or the expectation that something ought to be a certain way - the way I imagine it or the way I want it - the moment I let go of that - I open myself up to the possibility that perhaps something even greater and more amazing is about to happen.EmmaLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01976963296705941968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-25251001254974524172007-09-28T22:52:00.000-04:002007-09-28T22:52:00.000-04:00Its all about forward velocity. You already have t...Its all about forward velocity. You already have the energy propelling you forward which makes it easier to keep going than to expend the energy to stop. Maybe try rolling to a stop gently instead of putting on the emergency break? <BR/>An object in motion wants to stay in motion.Catehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18033228273412280786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-60025925443080671832007-09-28T22:37:00.000-04:002007-09-28T22:37:00.000-04:00What a striking post to happen upon for a first ti...What a striking post to happen upon for a first time, niobe. This is such a simple and yet muddled truth. <BR/><BR/>I wish you the best in facing this decision, if and when it comes. I'll be back.NotSoSagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04782162947524115936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-37087167998599548192007-09-28T21:34:00.000-04:002007-09-28T21:34:00.000-04:00Boy is it sad when one can apply my grad school ex...Boy is it sad when one can apply my grad school experience to expanding a family, but you've hit the nail on the head. It's almost -- well hell, it is -- harder to give up than to keep going, no matter how dark the tunnel. I'm not looking forward to even starting this process of just THINKING about the "again." Ugh.Tashhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07376651134993450207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-14515654279763418042007-09-28T21:31:00.000-04:002007-09-28T21:31:00.000-04:00Simply put...yup, I agree.I wish I could say our d...Simply put...yup, I agree.<BR/><BR/>I wish I could say our decision to move on to adoption was not influenced by finances, but that is not the case. After 3 years of forking out more than we pay for our mortgage annually, we needed to know we were actually going to get something for our money this round. <BR/><BR/>Sad, but true. As I posted on DD's site, a million dollars would really make me happier.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-9534288214775308592007-09-28T20:58:00.000-04:002007-09-28T20:58:00.000-04:00It is like a drug, I crave more treatment. I don'...It is like a drug, I crave more treatment. I don't know if I will be able to stop.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-86058560654104982282007-09-28T20:05:00.000-04:002007-09-28T20:05:00.000-04:00I do think the more we try the more important that...I do think the more we try the more important that end result can seem. I don't know what I would do with my life if I wasn't trying to conceive. It has been my biggest hobby (obsession) for 5 years now.<BR/><BR/>Yet, I find I am getting more and more ok with the idea of giving up. I think there comes a time when the emotional and financial reserves dry up and it feels better to quit than keep trying. Or maybe not - because I am not there yet. That line might just keep moving a step or two away from where I am at right now.Kamihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01215000341567119958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-80017470848976726172007-09-28T19:55:00.000-04:002007-09-28T19:55:00.000-04:00I know our situations are different, but your word...I know our situations are different, but your words really resonate with me. In my case it has been out of my hands in such a way that I have *had* to learn to let go and allow things to progress in their own time. It has now been a year and 8 months since we lost William and, while it looks like me and Mr. C are back on the same page once more, since I am on medication it will still be a few more months until we can even start to try again. And who knows how long it might take after that? There are no guarantees.BasilBeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16922682348740989545noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-80019649189428286562007-09-28T18:36:00.000-04:002007-09-28T18:36:00.000-04:00Ahh, this is such the ultimate question. Lately, ...Ahh, this is such the ultimate question. Lately, I fell sunk too. Deep in the deepest depths of the ocean. Did I mention that its deep down here?<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, we will hit a financial wall before others. So that will be that.Waiting Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07487061896648183375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-79011240098664542342007-09-28T18:33:00.000-04:002007-09-28T18:33:00.000-04:00My only costs are emotional, but I've asked myself...My only costs are emotional, but I've asked myself if I'm willing to invest more of my dwindling supply of hope in a quest that has already left me a person I don't even recognize.<BR/>I guess the question we have to ask ourselves - whatever our circumstances - is whether we can do it ONE more time.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02222598464601154747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-47701815746175856802007-09-28T17:53:00.000-04:002007-09-28T17:53:00.000-04:00I get it. Really. But I don't know anything about ...I get it. Really. But I don't know anything about resolving it.Beruriahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07171541078529309991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-76775994676747005192007-09-28T16:57:00.000-04:002007-09-28T16:57:00.000-04:00Oh, niobe. I can see this. I cannot imagine stop...Oh, niobe. I can see this. I cannot imagine stopping when there still exists possibility.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05602868040771218507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-33386285179672646052007-09-28T16:40:00.000-04:002007-09-28T16:40:00.000-04:00This was the most poignant thing I've read in awhi...This was the most poignant thing I've read in awhile:<BR/><BR/>"...it's not only the costs that are sunk."<BR/><BR/>It's a quagmire.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-56547524369321608142007-09-28T16:38:00.000-04:002007-09-28T16:38:00.000-04:00How true! It really is like playing the lottery--e...How true! It really is like playing the lottery--every month you hope and pray that this is it and when it's not you gear up for another month. <BR/><BR/>I hope you hit that jackpot soon! As, I've often wondered where that line would be for me and when it would be drawn, but I just can't come to terms with giving up.RBandRChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06018306370247688896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-91299239462324261212007-09-28T16:37:00.000-04:002007-09-28T16:37:00.000-04:00Very astute post. But then, all of yours are. Bein...Very astute post. But then, all of yours are. Being where I am, it's my inclination to urge someone to keep trying, because I can't imagine not having this. But where you're standing and where I've stood are on different planets. In real life, I don't actually urge people to do anything, because I hated that, myself.Furrowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08617566957749784387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-58625372914015984522007-09-28T15:46:00.000-04:002007-09-28T15:46:00.000-04:00I know it sounds like a cliche.. and I certainly d...I know it sounds like a cliche.. and I certainly don't want to sound that way but my honest belief is that things happen when they are meant to happen ~ not a minute sooner. <BR/><BR/>Maybe the key is to stop "trying" ~ and let it happen when it happens? <BR/><BR/>This kind of thing, I guess, just can't fit into economic theories. <BR/><BR/>? <BR/><BR/>I don't know. Hope I'm not out of line here. <BR/><BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~Chani<BR/>http://thailandgal.blogspot.comthailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-3485577159914172342007-09-28T15:40:00.000-04:002007-09-28T15:40:00.000-04:00"cut your losses" sounds terrible in this context...."cut your losses" sounds terrible in this context. Ouch.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-57402175011365474462007-09-28T15:05:00.000-04:002007-09-28T15:05:00.000-04:00BRAVA!BRAVA!DDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17864339996118337420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-49732002223106502882007-09-28T14:56:00.000-04:002007-09-28T14:56:00.000-04:00This is an excellent post, Niobe. You really hit ...This is an excellent post, Niobe. You really hit on something I think alot of us have wondered.ms. Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263348912679823512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-25138039718529093642007-09-28T14:53:00.000-04:002007-09-28T14:53:00.000-04:00Oh yeah - it is truly hard to stop. I feel lucky,...Oh yeah - it is truly hard to stop. I feel lucky, in that the kid was the result of IVF#3. Would we have done a 4th? A 5th? More? Gone to donor egg? Surrogacy? <BR/><BR/>I know someone who did EIGHT fresh cycles and I can't remember how many frozen and then there were some donor cycles and then they adopted but kept trying. It's indeed vicious.Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460136246441367993noreply@blogger.com