tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post3807072960294646951..comments2023-10-22T11:45:23.103-04:00Comments on dead baby jokes: feeding frenzyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-22632431154002349882010-06-07T22:56:06.277-04:002010-06-07T22:56:06.277-04:00I breastfed for 14 months, 2 of which he was in th...I breastfed for 14 months, 2 of which he was in the NICU and I was awake around the clock pumping by his bedside because the nurses wouldn't let him latch on and 4 months of which he hated the breast because they had bottle fed him my breastmilk in the hospital. It was tough as hell getting him to breast feed for the first months and there were a lot of tears and moments of "I don't know if I can do this." But we pushed through and in the end it was worth it for us. So I understand why people would give up, it isn't always easy.<br /><br />Having said that, we do use formula now even though he is a year and a half because he has special needs and is on medications which cause weight loss and he needs to gain back some weight somehow and there's no way in hell he'll go near my breast for anything other than stepping on while I'm lying down and in his way. And yes he eats lots of healthy foods, but it's just not enough to gain back the weight he's losing.<br /><br />So all I can say is do what's best for your family, forget the judgements and just do what you have to do. I don't feel the need to be anonymous about this so I'm not going to.<br /><br />As long as your baby is fed and healthy you're doing the right thing (in my opinion anyway).Azaerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00778026696324592463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-24292743508494843632010-06-07T22:10:29.363-04:002010-06-07T22:10:29.363-04:00As for milk from donor banks, the people who spout...As for milk from donor banks, the people who spout that off as a viable option are deluded. Yes, there are donor milk banks. BUT! You need a prescription for most of them! And the non profit ones charge $3-4 per OUNCE. Per ounce. So a newborn could be sucking down $30-40 of milk a day. A 6 month old can guzzle 25-30 ounces easy. Yeah, I don't know many people who can afford that when they can pony up $25 for a can of formula and feed their kid for a week or more. <br /><br />For profit banks charge $10-30 an ounce for milk. <br /><br />So puhlease. If breastfeeding is not in the picture for whatever reason, I'd much rather a parent formula feed and put a roof over their kid's head and all the other necessities that $30-40 a day could go towards. Very few of us can afford that kind of money.<br /><br />Just feed your damned kids if you should be so lucky to have them. Do the best you can. My father was fed freaking evaporated milk and water as a baby. He survived. My mother switched me to cows milk at 8 months, oh well. These are not the best solutions but it's better than starving a kid, so why argue over better options. Breast or formula, whichever works for your WHOLE family. <br /><br />-signed, someone who has done ALL of the following: breastfed a kid to 20 months, formula fed, pumped milk for donation, and fed a kid only frozen breast milk. Whatever. I've done it. Woo. Like I'm some kind of superhero for freaking feeding my kid.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-56614020357970341002010-06-07T20:20:35.079-04:002010-06-07T20:20:35.079-04:00In general, I think breast is best and you should ...In general, I think breast is best and you should try to breastfeed--give it a good, real try. If it doesn't work, we are fortunate to live in a country where the formula is usually safe. (Of course, there was that time a few years ago that there were metal fragments in the Nestle GoodStart...) So, I don't judge people in general.<br /><br />However, I judge people individually like I'm getting paid to do it. Friend who only tried in the recovery room? Judged. Person who said her doctor told her not to even though her son was in the NICU and she was producing milk like a champ? I think she's a liar and lazy. Judged. Friend who tried like crazy and couldn't pump enough when her son was in the NICU? She tried. She failed. It was more important that her son got fed at all than that she gave him her breastmilk.<br /><br />So, I reserve judgment for the individuals whose story I know fully. Like with everything else.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-63964226766737036922010-06-07T17:59:18.181-04:002010-06-07T17:59:18.181-04:00@June 5, 2010 10:31 PM:
When we approached our do...@June 5, 2010 10:31 PM:<br /><br />When we approached our doctor about that (banked breastmilk), he vehemently said no. His objections were a) you have no idea where it comes from or what the donor was on/taking at the time it was expressed and b) it's absolutely unregulated, which bothered him immensely. Now if I'd had the chance to prep for adoptive breastfeeding, he was all for it. But since there was no time, it didn't happen, and he put the kibosh on the donor milk.<br /><br />The best thing to come out of that topic of discussion was the fact that it got my MIL off my back.<br /><br />I think he's a progressive, open-minded doctor, and I was surprised by his attitude. Take his stance however you will. *shrug*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-50211320456715564912010-06-07T17:19:22.913-04:002010-06-07T17:19:22.913-04:00Can we talk about home birth?Can we talk about home birth?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-91231503352351783042010-06-07T15:55:21.093-04:002010-06-07T15:55:21.093-04:00Nursed the first til past 2 years, then quit becau...Nursed the first til past 2 years, then quit because I was pregnant with the next. The next is still nursing at 18 months. Neither kid ever had a drop of formula, despite my working full time and not being a particularly good milk producer. And that full time work is in pediatrics. And EVEN SO - don't care about breast versus bottle, it's such a DROP IN THE BUCKET of motherhood. NOT a big health effect, for the vast majority of kids. But I must add - donor milk is generally reserved for the sickest littlest kids, so you parents of term kids are better off just using formula.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-28562142171277841262010-06-07T14:09:21.119-04:002010-06-07T14:09:21.119-04:00I've not read all the posts yet (I'll save...I've not read all the posts yet (I'll save that fun for when I'm feeling cocky and confident), but of course breast is best. That said, I sucked at it and my baby sucked at it and after a short period of time I gave up and hated myself for a long, long time. I'm about to try it all again and while I hope it goes better this time, I won't hate myself nearly as much if it doesn't. Thank god or science or whatever that babies can survive when moms like me aren't tough enough to stick it out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-32343580453562468982010-06-07T11:42:54.810-04:002010-06-07T11:42:54.810-04:00Just realized that my last sentence was awkward .....Just realized that my last sentence was awkward ... I meant that the feelings I've had are great and that I think everyone who desires motherhood -- *as they define it* -- deserves it. Not that loss is desired or deserved.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-49707549475663666002010-06-07T11:37:07.864-04:002010-06-07T11:37:07.864-04:00@11:06 ... you can call it projection if you like,...@11:06 ... you can call it projection if you like, I'm not going to get panties beknotted over it.<br /><br />Yes, I do want all mothers to share in the feelings I've had, ESPECIALLY those who have experienced loss. Because it's great, and all those who desire it deserve it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-31535669939426815582010-06-07T11:07:51.539-04:002010-06-07T11:07:51.539-04:00@ Ruby -
Oddly, my husband felt that bottle feedi...@ Ruby -<br /><br />Oddly, my husband felt that bottle feeding was far more rewarding, since he got to participate in it beyond watching me feed the baby.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-49084077392589057922010-06-07T11:06:37.396-04:002010-06-07T11:06:37.396-04:00@ joyandwoe
Being a deadbabymama, your post made ...@ joyandwoe<br /><br />Being a deadbabymama, your post made me want to shriek and rip out all my hair.<br /><br />Breastfeeding may have made you feel like a mother, and bully for you, but it is NOT what defines a mother, any more than vaginal childbirth defines a woman.<br /><br />I'm thrilled that you feel that way, but projecting that onto other people and judging them for not meeting your standards of womanhood and motherhood is demeaning to those of us who had no choice in the matters of how our children were born and how they were fed (if they were fed - mine died before that particular issue arose).<br /><br />That's what gets me here in all of this, the projection of personal choice and feelings onto everyone else. It's so wrong and so ultimately hurtful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-59417848660202257392010-06-07T07:32:21.372-04:002010-06-07T07:32:21.372-04:00The part I don’t get about the whole culture of br...The part I don’t get about the whole culture of breastfeeding in this country (compared to what I’ve seen in Sweden) is how everyone is all “breast is best” when what people really seem to mean is, “breast is best...as long as we don’t have to see it.” It’s practically taboo not to breastfeed and yet it’s taboo to breastfeed in public (unless you have sheet draped over you and the baby or are in a public space designated for the purpose of breastfeeding or other private things like a bathroom). Someone mentioned PPD with regard to breastfeeding. I don’t think that breastfeeding itself would lead to PPD but if the new nursing mother felt isolated because she felt like she couldn’t go out in public in case she needed to feed her child I could see where things could downward spiral. <br /><br /> <br /><br />Perhaps if society were more supportive of breastfeeding mothers more mothers would breastfeed. If children grew up seeing babies breastfed when they were out they would think it was normal and might be more inclined to do the same when it was their turn. However, I don’t think pressuring women to breastfeed to making them feel guilty about not breastfeeding is helping anyone. If anything, mothers-to-be who are sitting on the fence could be completely turned off by those tactics.<br /><br /> <br /><br />I’m going to bottle feed for various reasons partially medical (breast reduction at 22yo). But truly, part of me looks forward to someone asking me if I’m going to be breastfeed and just saying, “no” and leaving it at that (unless, of course I feel like adding, “I’m also going to be using disposal diapers and sending my children to public school. Is there anything else you’d like to know?”). Women shouldn’t have to justify their reasons for deciding what or how to feed their children.<br /><br /><br />PS to the other woman who had a breast reduction. You may still be able to breast feed if that's what you want to do. After I lost my first at almost 20 weeks my milk came in. I've also been leaking since around 20 weeks with this pregnancy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-34778894931471279922010-06-07T00:38:47.021-04:002010-06-07T00:38:47.021-04:00@ 8:03
yes, yes, YES, totally agree re: bad Nazi ...@ 8:03<br /><br />yes, yes, YES, totally agree re: bad Nazi reference. <br /><br />It is so inappropriate that I actually cringe reading it in the wrong context.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-9149893043883598722010-06-06T22:47:26.448-04:002010-06-06T22:47:26.448-04:00Giving birth naturally (vaginal delivery, no meds)...Giving birth naturally (vaginal delivery, no meds) made me feel like a woman. Breastfeeding makes me feel like a mother.<br /><br />I want every mother to share in that feeling, and it's hard for me not to be judgmental about those who *choose* to formula feed, because I know how rewarding breastfeeding can be. Hard, yes. But after awhile, with support if needed, it stops being hard and starts being <i>good</i>.<br /><br />Just give it a try -- that's how I feel.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-33741128983837621482010-06-06T20:03:46.325-04:002010-06-06T20:03:46.325-04:00Can we stop using "Nazi" to refer to obn...Can we stop using "Nazi" to refer to obnoxious breastfeeding proponents, please?<br />It really trivializes the crimes of actual Nazis.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-35348770028806608902010-06-06T16:15:18.204-04:002010-06-06T16:15:18.204-04:00@ 10:36. As someone said, it is losing not loosing...@ 10:36. As someone said, it is losing not loosing. And affected not effected. Sheesh, what was your point again?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-73427420323723594822010-06-06T14:19:32.475-04:002010-06-06T14:19:32.475-04:00Niobe, I understand it. Didn't lose a baby mys...Niobe, I understand it. Didn't lose a baby myself, just the sad-sad-sad part that's miraculously cured. And I think it cured BECAUSE you lost the twins; I remember how you once said that, pregnant with them, you told someone that you were going to die. The loss just confirmed the catastrophy you expected your whole life. Twisted, complicated, even naive, maybe, but that's how I understand it. I passed through something similar; i almost never cry nowadays.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-84161531680321661322010-06-06T13:53:07.622-04:002010-06-06T13:53:07.622-04:00LOSING the twins. Not LOOSING. Learn the differenc...LOSING the twins. Not LOOSING. Learn the difference.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-31871207926952126492010-06-06T13:52:36.519-04:002010-06-06T13:52:36.519-04:00I believe breast feeding is better, if you can do ...I believe breast feeding is better, if you can do so, but most women who do so are so ridiculously, self-righteously cunty about BFing that I hesitate to air my views in public in case people assume I'm a Boob Nazi.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-56944021722431872732010-06-06T10:36:48.411-04:002010-06-06T10:36:48.411-04:00@Niobe
I think loosing the twins has effected you...@Niobe<br /><br />I think loosing the twins has effected you deeply. I say this based on some of the things you have said on your blog and in the comments on other blogs. You just show it and process it in a different way. There is nothing wrong with that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-21982045497918514252010-06-06T10:29:44.333-04:002010-06-06T10:29:44.333-04:00Nothing beats breast feeding if you ask me. It'...Nothing beats breast feeding if you ask me. It's not only the most convenient form to feed you baby. It's also the most rewarding one.Rubyhttp://www.feedingbabyinfo.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-8379699159711438152010-06-06T10:09:44.111-04:002010-06-06T10:09:44.111-04:00@12:13 (who said Niobe seemed very, very sad).
Pe...@12:13 (who said Niobe seemed very, very sad).<br /><br />Perhaps it's not coming across, but these days I'm feeling happier than I've ever been. <br /><br />Now, since my emotions apparently have a limited up side, that may mean something like my spirits have rocketed from deep depression all the way up to mild gloom. But, you know, still.<br /><br />For many years (long before I lost the twins). I was so sad that I had trouble getting out of bed most mornings. I was so sad that I cried every morning all the way to work. I was so sad that I often wondered if there was some way I could magically just . . . vanish. <br /><br />Now, I'm so far away from that all-encompassing sadness, that it's hard even to remember what it felt like.<br /><br />And, honestly? I worry much more that I'm not sad enough about losing the twins -- certainly, it doesn't seem to have affected my life as much as similar losses have affected others.niobehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10685766216611639434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-52811398223899237462010-06-06T02:48:49.975-04:002010-06-06T02:48:49.975-04:00I read all the comments but was going to skip addi...I read all the comments but was going to skip adding mine, as it has been said before. UNTIL I got a whole bunch of judgement today from a friend of a friend, so now I am going to vent.<br />I had no intention of breastfeeding, ever. The thought of putting my breast into a baby's mouth gives me the creeps. Always has. I am totally disgusted by people who do it in public. I don't care if it is natural, so is going to the bathroom, but you don't do that in public. <br />Anyway, I ended up with a baby in the NICU and wanted to do anything I could, so I bought myself a new handbag and started to pump.<br />Low supply! Like, nothing.<br />When the next baby came, I expressed once, same issues, so didn't take it any further.<br />I get so frustrated by 'every baby is different' but there is only one right way to feed them. Please. My comment to the judgmental masses is 'how does f*ck off sound?', you don't know what I've been through.<br />Children worked in factories one hundred years ago....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-91869431410557212292010-06-06T02:31:09.823-04:002010-06-06T02:31:09.823-04:00I loved breastfeeding, but it wasn't without i...I loved breastfeeding, but it wasn't without its major challenges; we had a really hard time getting started, yet I wasn't prepared to lose that after already losing the natural, drug-free experience to a c-section. I am really lucky because even though for many, many tough weeks, breastfeeding finally became blissful, but I know it might not have turned out that way. There are a legitimate group of women who simply cannot meet the needs of their babies and that sucks, but it happens. I become incensed, however, at women who say they want to, but that they can't when they haven't really tried in a real and honest way. It's like they are starving for attention, and that by having some medical issue, they are somehow more special or something - I don't get that, really. <br /><br />Also, 12:59, you could probably drop that shit about "spiraling" into cloth diapers and Montessori schools... these are choices parents make for the betterment of their children, the community, or the environment. As such, to comment that these choices are so far out of the ordinary, only suggests that your hopes for your kids remain in the common Wal-Mart, white bread, sliced cheese and bologna domain. We should be happy and embrace the fact we all have many options from which to colour and shape our children's lives and worldviews. I would be so sad for my child should I stick him into the bland society you suggest, and deprive him of all the wonderful things available to try. If I delimit what I show him, why should he try to further his own reach and dreams?<br />PS. he is not in Montessori, we aren't all organic, and we never managed to go all cloth diapers - give the people a break already.<br /><br />bAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-52990227560737096352010-06-06T02:07:07.616-04:002010-06-06T02:07:07.616-04:00I don't care about breast or bottle, but I do ...I don't care about breast or bottle, but I do care about recycling or landfill. I think people who don't recycle are lazy and dumb.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com