tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post6973612821733718467..comments2023-10-22T11:45:23.103-04:00Comments on dead baby jokes: or is it just me?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-54562934641327234762007-11-30T18:03:00.000-05:002007-11-30T18:03:00.000-05:00not only have i thought this i have ben told this....not only have i thought this i have ben told this. <BR/><BR/>i do think that what ever high power you believe in does not hand you anything you are not strong enough to cope with.Olive Lucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16639113062020312020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-26332577169835043772007-11-29T05:18:00.000-05:002007-11-29T05:18:00.000-05:00I've heard this one before but it really pisses me...I've heard this one before but it really pisses me of to believe that's why it happened to me and 'them', I never asked to be strong and given the choice I'd rather not be if it means the cushty life they take pleasure in!<BR/><BR/>Strangely, this analogy doesn't comfort me as much as it should!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-80920485852162409832007-11-27T13:03:00.000-05:002007-11-27T13:03:00.000-05:00It is not just you. I have had similar thoughts wh...It is not just you. I have had similar thoughts when looking at people I know.Dr. Grumbleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09448780702110352118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-60748938561149273952007-11-27T06:25:00.000-05:002007-11-27T06:25:00.000-05:00I thought I was the only one who had this thought....I thought I was the only one who had this thought. It's reassuring to know that I'm not.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00675811282678813332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-55213567927540713762007-11-26T21:48:00.000-05:002007-11-26T21:48:00.000-05:00I'm going to have to think this one over for about...I'm going to have to think this one over for about a week.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-36798244574563593312007-11-25T10:31:00.000-05:002007-11-25T10:31:00.000-05:00Only part a -- i do think there is a fixed amount ...Only part a -- i do think there is a fixed amount of bad luck in this world. But i think its distribution is random, and i think most people do find their ways to cope. Not because they are strong, or not -- but simply because survival is a human instinct.katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16536809590856333391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-78159596013447936432007-11-25T09:25:00.000-05:002007-11-25T09:25:00.000-05:00It's not a tradeoff. I used to believe this happen...It's not a tradeoff. I used to believe this happened with Matthew, since the odds of a Trisomy 18 pregnancy happening at my age then were so small. <BR/><BR/>But it was irrational. I wasn't coping so well, even when I tired to pretend I was, and it isn't inevitable that babies & children have to die. They don't. <BR/><BR/>There is no gold medal in the Olympics of pain. It's not a competition.Aureliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13691032415028867902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-85242734070315037782007-11-24T18:15:00.000-05:002007-11-24T18:15:00.000-05:00i'm sort of the opposite--mad at others for having...i'm sort of the opposite--mad at others for having good luck. though i know this is irrational and in the scheme of things i've had good luck i suppose.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04662448292809451387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-84907927669581693712007-11-24T17:05:00.000-05:002007-11-24T17:05:00.000-05:00Like some others here I don't see the amount of ba...Like some others here I don't see the amount of bad luck as fixed but I do think that there are some people who would crumble under the weight of loss while others have more stamina. I think Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone With the Wind, had it right: some people are wheat and snap when the storm comes. Others are buckwheat -- they bend but they do not break. I like to think I'm buckwheat.Pamela T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11474998003921896431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-82804138269463805302007-11-24T15:27:00.000-05:002007-11-24T15:27:00.000-05:00Only all the time.Only all the time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-17834275369324612462007-11-23T20:14:00.000-05:002007-11-23T20:14:00.000-05:00Well, I think there is unending bad luck, that it'...Well, I think there is unending bad luck, that it's not a finite quantity.<BR/><BR/>As for your thought processes here, I'm going to think of them as your being positive about your own strength.Antropólogahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01720065905801369495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-80466436054931216862007-11-23T19:33:00.000-05:002007-11-23T19:33:00.000-05:00I have that thought all the time, it's part of how...I have that thought all the time, it's part of how I rationalize things.Grad3https://www.blogger.com/profile/01507004280070094471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-81156813038042164572007-11-23T18:21:00.000-05:002007-11-23T18:21:00.000-05:00I do think that there are people who cannot deal w...I do think that there are people who cannot deal with bad things and loss as well as some can. There are people in this world who can't deal with the bad luck they have been dealt. There are people who come completely unglued over the small stuff. I don't know how they would ever deal with the loss of a child.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-57199868000386615052007-11-23T18:05:00.000-05:002007-11-23T18:05:00.000-05:00I'm embarrassed to say that I'm not as generous as...I'm embarrassed to say that I'm not as generous as you (and many previous posters) are. Do I think it's better to get the shit end of the stick because I can "take it" better than someone else? Hell no. Maybe at one time I'd have tried to muster up some kind of stubborn pride in this, but now I'm completely over it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-41405146807574745932007-11-23T17:04:00.001-05:002007-11-23T17:04:00.001-05:00I have had that thought after losing one of our tw...I have had that thought after losing one of our twins.. i see certain families and just *know* that it would have destroyed them, their marriage...everything.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-63560676144329164552007-11-23T17:04:00.000-05:002007-11-23T17:04:00.000-05:00I've had similar thoughts, and I never thought abo...I've had similar thoughts, and I never thought about how damaging that is until I read the comments. I'm stopping it now.tipsymariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01001979206200298238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-70816827522448780112007-11-23T16:43:00.000-05:002007-11-23T16:43:00.000-05:00I have to agree with Slouching Mom (not that this ...I have to agree with Slouching Mom (not that this would be the first time). I don't ascribe to this theory. Certainly during rough times I've wondered if the bad luck is limitless. But I do think that this perception that you personally should be the one to bear the disappointments is potentially damaging in some way. On the other hand, wanting to spare others this type of pain is noble.<BR/><BR/>As others have said, you can never be sure what someone can bear until that card is dealt. And at times I think there are some who make a choice not to cope (but this is rare). <BR/><BR/>It is time for you to cope with happiness.Waiting Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07487061896648183375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-89765308788988034012007-11-23T16:26:00.000-05:002007-11-23T16:26:00.000-05:00sadly, no, it seems to me there is more than enoug...sadly, no, it seems to me there is more than enough to go around - though I have had my share of peace and joy, I know not all my life's griefs and sorrows are behind me - though I've had my share of those as well. I hope there is a limitless supply of joy as well as pain, I think there is.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09390898429089863816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-28551177409893960532007-11-23T16:18:00.000-05:002007-11-23T16:18:00.000-05:00i have wondered, but then also wonder if i'd be to...i have wondered, but then also wonder if i'd be tough enough to take whatever came my way. the latter scares me more.Girlplustwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056576921114387218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-293832723880601772007-11-23T15:48:00.000-05:002007-11-23T15:48:00.000-05:00Yes. I have had this thought before.Except that a...Yes. I have had this thought before.<BR/><BR/>Except that at the time, I didn't see the amount of bad luck as fixed. I saw it as unlimited.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-63479140260491473582007-11-23T15:46:00.000-05:002007-11-23T15:46:00.000-05:00I'm tired of people saying how strong I am and how...I'm tired of people saying how strong I am and how you are only given what you can handle in this life. As far as I'm concerned, I have had the bad luck of a small army. Not just one person.<BR/><BR/>That being said...I don't want anyone else to ever go through any part of what I've gone through myself. Knowing that things can be o.k. for others, gives me comfort that the world is not entirely cruel and unkind.meghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00113578396438869433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-90346897120322794042007-11-23T15:11:00.000-05:002007-11-23T15:11:00.000-05:00Also having lost a child, I have often thought tha...Also having lost a child, I have often thought that I have handled it better than anyone I know could. And I also loathe to hear how "strong" how "brave", how, "I could never do that". Because honestly, people do not know how they would handle such things until they are faced with them. As bad as what I have had to deal with, and continue to deal with, has been, I still know it could have been worse. I console myself with the knowledge that when my son died, he was surrounded by love. That he died in my arms and not in terror or pain or at the hand of someone with the intent to harm him. It could always be worse. Where is the limit of what one person can deal with--emotionally, psychologicall--I don't know. None of us knows until we are dealt those cards.Theohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06583514110313117718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-43751777676374514502007-11-23T15:03:00.000-05:002007-11-23T15:03:00.000-05:00You've written this before. I totally agree, and ...You've written this before. I totally agree, and I know it's irrational, and yet it's still there. I don't blog much right now about my loss, but yeah. I definitely pulled the short straw on that one, and because I did, someone else didn't. And my marital problems are definitely associated, even if there are other reasons, too. The pressure of loss impacted our relationship profoundly, as it does with so many others. And because it affected ours, another couple made it through. <BR/><BR/>I used to believe I was profoundly lucky, though. I guess it all balances out.Which Boxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14223363075283823935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-78906517434907289302007-11-23T14:35:00.000-05:002007-11-23T14:35:00.000-05:00I don't know. I've run through so many theories ab...I don't know. I've run through so many theories about why it seems some people have a lot more challenges to bear. I've definitely given it thought as I bear my own. And when I see others apparently glide through.<BR/><BR/>I hate it when I see others suffering as we have and do, but in a demented way it's a sort of validation: oh it's not me, I don't DESERVE bad things...they just happen. That makes me feel terrible.<BR/><BR/>But sometimes I feel quite childishly selfish and bitter when I feel the weight of my burden compared to others who are burden-free.<BR/><BR/>Julie<BR/><A HREF="http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Using My Words</A>Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-225058560254819105.post-85746298626694250312007-11-23T14:28:00.000-05:002007-11-23T14:28:00.000-05:00That's a tough one... not sure. When we were kids...That's a tough one... not sure. When we were kids, I used to ask my mom to punish me instead of my little sister sometimes because I just felt so sorry for her when she got in trouble. I tend to take on other people's sorrows and feel broken by them even though they're not my own. Maybe I think the universe should send more bad luck my way in order to spare others, but not because I'm good at coping - I just feel a constant, vague, generalized guilt and believe I should be suffering.E. Phantzihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05812948199658356521noreply@blogger.com