everything has an end and pudding has two

Grief eventually becomes tedious, even to the griever. You can try to substitute other emotions: anger, numbness, hope, but, at the end of the day (and I mean that literally), your mind slips into the well-worn tracks of sorrow. You don't have to cry. In fact, after awhile, crying seems redundant. If you talk about it, you end up saying the same thing over and over again. "Yes, I'm sad that my babies are dead." Work helps some. And so does sleep. But, so far, I haven't found anything else that makes me feel, well, better.