Saturday, February 17, 2007

good news/bad news

So, which do you want to hear first?

bad news: Another hospital bill. Somehow, my insurer finally managed to straighten things out and I got a statement that $349 had been paid for medical services for "Baby S." I have no idea where that initial came from -- it doesn't correspond to any possible first or last name. But I started crying and couldn't tear the bill up fast enough. Maybe I should have burnt it, like the rich, yet eccentric victim in an Agatha Christie novel, leaving a single enigmatic fragment, enabling Hercule Poirot to unravel the case and unmask the murderer. But I probably would have only burnt my fingers.

good news: One of my friends (really more like a friendly acquaintance) just got a positive pregnancy test. She's had a very difficult time getting to this point and, for various reasons, this will automatically be a high risk pregnancy. But the really good thing (from my own selfish point of view) is that I am -- amazingly enough -- able to be happy for her and feel only a tiny twinge of jealousy (or, actually, envy, if you want to be pedantic).

2 comments:

Artblog said...

Jealously is ok, to feel no jealously at any point is un-healthy.

Monica said...

You are a bigger person than me (actually, that's unlikely, I'm 6 foot tall, and no, I'm not thin). I had this woman who was due two months after me and when my baby passed she kept saying how it "scared her". She just moved to Ohio from Austin and I couldn't be happier. I'll never have to see her face or hear about her perfect baby again. I'm glad that you are able to feel good for her. That shows you are letting go of some of the anger.