Tuesday, March 6, 2007

dark thoughts

Well, I went ahead and bought the presents. One for my sister-in-law's baby, who would have been exactly the age of my twins. Two for my brother's one-year-old daughter. And one for the other sister-in-law, whose baby is due in July. All I felt was a crushing pain and overwhelming despair.

My babies will never get any presents. They will never have doting grandparents come to visit them and marvel at their strong grips and tiny feet. They will never smile and they will never cry. And the door to heaven -- if there is a heaven -- is barred to them forever.


lildb said...

the door to heaven - if there is a heaven - must be open to them.

it must.

Dany said...

there is a heaven. there is.
and your children have every right to be there.
i havent lost children and this is completely out of character for me...but i know there is a God and a heaven and that He cares for both His heavenly and earthly children.