at loose ends
I dread weekends. So many hours and I can't spend all of them reading or on the computer. I feel sadder, more alone, and prone to panicky thoughts. Somehow, it seems impossible to imagine what I could do to fill the vast stretches of unstructured time. Any suggestions?
13 comments:
Hi Niobe. I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your twins. I've just read your entire blog and my heart breaks for what you've been through. You have an amazing way of writing and I'll be following your story. I so want to read about your happy ending. I'm sorry hun. x
Hi,
What helped me get through the waiting period to try again (okay...maybe not quite the same thing in your case but it's the same sentiment) was to create special things to look forward to. They could be little..like seeing a movie or getting a book that I was looking forward to...or big...like going on a trip. My husband created a calendar for me with special things to look forward to every couple of days. It was very sweet and did save my sanity (somewhat).
Well, if you think of something really full proof, tell me. All of my time is unstructured
As for me, making a huge to hang out often with friends that I know will be fun and not say anything stupid helps. I've just joined a creative writing course at the community center - something I'd thought was silly but did in a desperate attempt to extend my mind beyond work and self pity. Just got back from it now and I love it. My husband is gardening, something I know helps many people but seems like hell to me. He's also been concentrating on cooking healthy foods, something that also would be a form of torture for me but works for him.
In some cities (mine, for example) this weekend is still Spa Week (click on your city, look at the different salons offering treatments), which means you can get a very nice treatment for $50 and kill a few hours. And the shrink tells me we are supposed to do something nice for ourselves once in a while. I do believe this counts.
Do you knit? Its more than a hobby, its an obsession all its own :)
www.crazyauntpurl.com
Or maybe jizsaw puzzles? I know they are totally naff, but I can lose myself for hours looking for a piece of sky with just a touch of cloud and one straight edge.
Your obviously a very talented writer, write a book.
Do you paint?
Weekend getaways?
Let your friends know that you need to be kept busy.
Wish I could help.
I could spend large parts of weekends at the bookstore. Of course, that is a rather expensive way to spend unstructured time...
DIY!
Seriously, you'll completely lose yourself while you fight with your husband over paint swatches, put up a couple of shelves then break a couple of fingers with the hammer, which means you get to spend hours in the ER to get it patched up, so when you finally arrive home way after midnight, you'll be so exhausted, you won't have noticed the day passed by!
Or you could just do a jigsaw puzzle, but make it at least a really difficult 2000 piecer, so your mind won't have time to think.
I've completed three since last February!
XXX
Bumble -- Thank you. And welcome.
Julia, Vixanne W. -- I like your ideas and, in fact, I've just signed up for a series of facials. Which I love everything about except the attempts of the salon to sell me expensive skin care products that I would never remember to use. Oh, and the fact that lying on the table seems uncomfortably close to waiting for an ultrasound.
Miss M, Artblog -- jigsaw puzzles may be a better idea than you realize since I'm, how shall I put it, not very good with spatial relationships and any puzzle would take me a long, long time.
Sara -- I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have all my time unstructured, requiring actual effort on my part to decide what to do every. single. day. My heart goes out to you.
Slouching Mom -- Bookstores (of which there are a ridiculous number in my neighborhood) are fun to visit. Especially if they have lattes or shortbread cookies. But, at least for the moment, I absolutely, positively cannot buy any more books. At least until I manage to get rid of some of the ones I already have. The house already looks far too much like a library for my taste.
Niobe...I like walking, biking or swimming if I have unstructured time with nothing to do. There is always shopping even if just looking or bargain hunting like thrift stores. My wife is big into quilting which I think is a major addiction lol...also into stained glass which I have helped with making stepping stones.
There are a number of civic organizations one can become involved in or even possibly church activities.
Ever thought about foster parenting, mentoring (like big brothers/big sisters) or providing respite care for children? That will definitely help structure time. In fact you will be looking for unstructured time!
Those are just a few thoughts off the top of my head on a Friday morning and I am sure I could come up with more later. Wish I could be of more help to you.
Niobe, I wasn't looking for sympathy, but thank you anyway!
Dig in the garden. Take ballet classes. Learn to make complicated multi-layered desserts. Those are all things that, for me anyway, require enough direct attention so as to get the mind off of the dark track.
Travel. Visit museums. Make dinner go into overtime.
These things will not (necessarily) make things better. But they will eat up a lot of time.
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