analysis
I'm very grateful for all your comments about my therapist. Unfortunately, I have a great deal of trouble (a) evaluating and (b) getting much out of therapy. Could this be because my mother is a psychiatrist? Why yes, yes, it could.
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- a directory for grieving families
- a failure of imagination
- a little pregnant
- a mending heart
- a second chance
- a series of unfortunate events
- adventures of law mommy
- all about preeclampsia
- am i doing okay
- amelies welt
- an accident of hope
- and here we are
- and the duck said
- antigone lost
- antropóloga
- apron strings
- awful but functioning
- baby passionfruit
- baby proof
- beaten but not bowed
- beautiful
- beyond the pale
- bloggings by deshaine
- blood signs
- box of rain
- bringing gabriel home
- broken heart diaries
- bub and pie
- certainly not cool enough to blog
- collecting raindrops
- coming2terms
- conceive this
- creating motherhood
- crib chronicles
- cruchy granola
- curvatude
- days of our lives
- discovering me
- doc grumbles i presume
- dragondreamer's lair
- drama 2b mama
- eight million pieces
- emma's mum
- everything is under control
- excavator
- expectant waiting
- finding my way home
- footprints on my heart
- for the flavor
- fortune cookie follies
- froggy baby
- glow in the woods
- greenblogger
- grownups are like that
- healing arts
- henry street
- her very own
- high land hard rain
- hopeful momma
- i thought unicorns were a myth
- i will be mom*
- i will never be over it
- i won't fear love
- i'm a smart one
- in her shoes
- in the land of broken hearts
- infertile fantasies
- julian's room
- just crazy enough to try
- just one more
- klepsydra
- la la land
- life after heartache
- life can be
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- little beans 4 me
- losses and gains
- magpie musing
- making sense of it all
- mary's madness
- max's mommy
- maybe baby
- mcpolish
- me and my shadows
- miracle dive
- missed conceptions
- mommy wants vodka
- moshka*
- mother in mourning
- motherhood and angels
- my journey towards my little miracle
- my pain i hide
- my reality
- my resurfacing
- my scar smiles at me
- mystery mommy
- nate nate roller skate
- needs new batteries
- nicolas' garden*
- no matter how small
- noah steven
- not done yet
- one big maybe
- one tired ema
- painted maypole
- phantom scribbler
- plan b
- please give me back my heart
- project t*
- punch drunk
- pyjama mummy
- raspberry chip
- relaxing in the parlor
- rhymes with javelin
- riding the grief rollercoaster
- ryan was here
- seed dispersal mechanisms
- slouching past 40
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- special survivors
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- sticky bean
- sticky bun
- still hopeful
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- surviving my loss
- sweet/salty
- tears are for babies
- thalia's fertility journey
- that was the plan
- the callipygian chronicles
- the fertile soul
- the impatient patient
- the journey from here
- the littlest bean
- the para graph
- the view from the hill
- the woman who cried pregnant
- there's hope
- think pink
- third time lucky
- this is not what i ordered
- this that and the mother thing
- this too shall pass
- thomas woz 'ere
- three minute palaver
- too much too soon
- town criers
- trapped under ice
- trying to have a baby that lives
- tuesday's hope
- uncommon misconceptions
- under the mad hat
- unpollinated
- untangling knots
- uppercase woman
- wabi-sabi life
- waiting for . . .
- weebles wobblog
- what am i
- what does not kill you makes you stronger
- wheels on the bus
- which box
- wishing it would get easier
- words of a life
- write about there
- writing as jo(e)
- year of consolation
8 comments:
Well that could be a very distinct possiblity niobe. You are full of surprises! lol
I am being light hearted with you because you have probably been therapized to death throughout your life. Unfortunately, the reverse could be true in terms of outcomes. For example, the auto mechanic who never fixes his own car, the marriage counselor who has been divorced 3 or more times...and so on. The home fires often are either neglected or as Biblical stated, "A prophet is not without honor; save in his own country and in his own house."
But from what you posted, I would say your therapist isn't listening to you nor wanting to go where you need to be...plus there appears to be some boundary crossings that are not appropriate. Based on that, I'd be looking for someone else. Yeah, he might be triggering some things your mom might have told you about some of her clients she sees too....and that could lead to some transference issues.
Maybe you could get more from a counselor right now? Maybe the psychiatrist can only be helpful to a certain point? I feel like I got so much more from 3 sessions of EMDR, than from a year of psychotherapy. I guess each one is different in how they work, but if you try a few things, one will click with you. And you might get more out of that right now, but maybe get more out of something else in 6 months? Don't settle for this guy you have now, there is a right approach out there.
why does that totally not surprise me?
i guess i'd say this: my training centered around cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety and depression. it's not particularly fun -- but it does seem to have demonstrated efficacy in treating these disorders, and, what's more, it has longevity -- it seems to reduce the incidence of relapse. if i had a relative suffering from either anxiety or depression, i'd recommend someone with expertise in CBT.
for what it's worth.
A psychiatrist mom? Yep, that might influence something!
I would say that an interesting setting might be group therapy or a support group in real life then, just because one on one will I'm sure bring up some difficult issues with your mom.
And now I get the male therapist thing too....before this I had never heard of a woman seeing a male therapist. Makes sense in this context.
Well, I've certainly heard of a woman seeing a male therapist, so that in itself is not odd. It's just the shrink himself who is!
The big hospital here offers support groups for women (and couples) who have experienced pregnancy loss or stillbirth. A group can be really helpful when grieving, or it can be wretched, depending on how you deal with feeling different from others. That was the drawback for me fifteen years ago. Feeling different made me feel my grief didn't count compared to that of others in the group. (Yes, that goes back to my mother, even though she was most definitely not a shrink.)
I hope you are able to find someone who will walk down this path *with* you, a Virgil to your Dante.
Maybe you don't need therapy? Or, rather, maybe traditional therapy is not ever going to be particularly helpful for you. Maybe you need to think outside the box? I'm not sure what that would be though. A silent retreat? A specific activity or charity you could throw yourself into? Talking with a Buddhist monk? Just throwing out ideas.
It does seem like sitting and talking with someone isn't your thing.
I'm wondering if the painting you mentioned here, and you project of transmuting grief into literate gems, should properly be seen as therapeutic. There are art therapists out there.
Sublimation is a very, very old solution to grief and misery as well as other Freudian woes.
Aha. That would seem like a complication. Keep searching, keep writing.
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