Tuesday, October 16, 2007

all in a day's work

As a new day dawns, Niobe unmasks yet another doer of evil. This one is a woman who, when asked a direct question, hesitates for several very long seconds while her glance skitters sideways and the corners of her mouth quiver. She's told so many lies that the effort it takes to try and keep her story straight is visibly painful. I almost feel sorry for her as I shred her into confetti. Almost.

Are you a good liar? What's your tell?

36 comments:

Lori said...

I am, sadly, quite a good liar. However, I only exercise this talent on the rarest of occasions.

If I have a "tell", I'm not sure what it is... I'm pretty good.

Julia said...

I am a pretty bad at it. I can pull off exaggerating about how bad traffic was on the way if I am running a bit late, and it was mostly due to leaving a bit late. But I suck at lying. So if I don't want something known, I don't talk about it, or try not to.

niobe said...

Lori: I'm in shock. That is sooo not what I expected you to say. Still waters, well, you know.

LAS said...

I am exceptionally good at lying. HOWEVER, I don't lie anymore (okay, that's a lie, ha ha - I try my best not to lie (except why does this require effort - how hard can it be to just tell the truth?)) - because when I do lie - even a tiny little lie that seems harmless and insignificant - it eats away at the very core of me until I tell the truth. This comes from "working the program" I suppose - rigorous honesty is required. Lying to others versus lying to myself are completely different issues though. I still find it easy to lie to myself sometimes.

LawMommy said...

I am, quite possibly, the worst liar on the planet. I twitch and fidget and cannot make eye contact. I just don't do it well...I'm a lousy poker player, too...

Gretchen

Artblog said...

I have always been too honest, alas! In school when asked if I'd "done it" I always said yes, mostly because whatever I'd done, I was proud of having done. I was a feisty little girl, too proud to lie and obviously too stupid as well!

Nowadays I just keep my trap shut so I'm not lying nor opening my big gob either ;)

Are you feeling better after the trip?

XXX

Beruriah said...

Well for goodness sake, I'm surprised by Lori too!

My tell is getting teary-eyed. But that happens a lot in other situations too so it's not reliable. If I'm telling a funny story, or a sad story, same thing.

thailandchani said...

I am a wretched liar. Everything I think and feel is right on the surface. I'm practically like an Asperger's kid with my inability to conceal anything.

I know someone who is a prodigious liar. In fact, I find her amusing most of the time because I can't imagine it. She really must assume that everyone in the world is stupid.. because, frankly, she's not a very good liar. :)


Peace,

~Chani

Lori said...

Downward glance.

I like your blog, Niobe (said looking straight ahead).

Lori said...

I'm laughing at the shockwaves I have caused! Hahahaha... see, you all thought I was so nice, and forthright, and *honest*!

Laughing aside though... I really am honest. Honest! You can trust me! It's just if I needed to lie, let's say in order to save a life or something, I could do it. No problem.

Allie said...

I'm a horrible liar...my eyes twitch...so my parents and my husband never have to worry about me slipping one past them.

Emily said...

I am a horrible liar. Horrible. I have never, ever, not once gotten away with a lie. I'm not sure what my tell is, but it must be telling.
I'm reminded of the Far Side cartoon where 2 sharks are swimming toward the beach and all of the swimmers are screaming and running out of the water. One shark looks at the other and says, "Hey our fins are sticking out of the water. I wonder how long that's been giving us away."
I'm that shark.

Waiting Amy said...

I can be a good liar, but only if I've had the chance to prepare. Not elaborate preparation, just some mental awareness that I might need to lie about something, then I generally can pull it off. But if unexpectedly put on the spot, I often fail. The tells are probably the typical -- stammering, fidgeting, etc.

Waiting Amy said...

HEY, wait a minute!

What about you Niobe? Are you a good liar?

megan said...

i'm a terrible liar. i turn beet red and stutter. . .

Aurelia said...

I can lie if I need to, if it was really really important, and smoothly. But for stupid little things, I don't lie well. I seem to smile too much or my eyebrows go funny.

The 'tell' you mentioned for that woman? That's what I do when I am scared to talk about something embarassing or humiliating and trying to escape the situation. Plus, I blush horribly. Doesn't make it a lie, just makes it a terrifying experience for me to talk about the issue.

I know this is most likely different, but oh this makes me nervous just reading this.

My Reality said...

I can lie really well to someone I don't have an emotional attachment to. I have given it to my boss a few times. But if it is someone I truely care about, I don't lie.

niobe said...

Aurelia: Nah, don't worry about her. I'd never just rely on facial expressions to decide if someone is lying. There were many other reasons I didn't believe her story. And, in any case, what I personally think about her truthfulness doesn't have any practical consequences.

In this case, though, the abrupt change in her demeanor when she answered some questions was incredibly striking. I've quite honestly never seen anything like it.

slouching mom said...

I am an excellent liar.

Which rather shames me.

cinnamon gurl said...

I'm a horrible pathetic liar. Even when it would be nicer to lie, I just can't. Not unless I've recognized in advance the need to lie and fully scripted my lie and any questions that could need lies. It's just too exhausting and life is too short, so I just tell the truth and occasionally hurt people's feelings or otherwise alienate them.

Tash said...

Good liar. Pretty decent poker player if I say so myself. Now if only I had something deliciously wonderful to lie about . . .

akeeyu said...

I suck at lying, and because of this I tend to lie only by omission.

Grad3 said...

I am an excellent liar- as long as I think it's for a 'good' reason. Like to keep myself out of trouble :)

If I am not okay with the reason and I have to do it to someone I respect- I can't look at them.

Adrienne said...

Is the evil the lying or the getting away with it?

I don't know if I'm good at it or not. I haven't been called on it very often - maybe that should tell me something?

meg said...

Can't lie to save my life. It's completely impossible for me to do it.

M said...

I'm a crap liar - my mouth goes all dry and I get really tongue tied!

Rebecca said...

I'm a great liar. I don't know if I have a tell. People never seem to call me out and say I'm lying, so I'm guessing I don't?

Hannah said...

I am a skilled liar in certain situations - to my parents for example, but a dreadful liar in all others. I stutter and rush my words and then this little core of guilt knaws away at me for days and days. I blame a Catholic upbringing.

I have, however, been told that I look like I'm lying when I am merely trying to tell someone something painful or very very true. Then I skitter away from things and make detours and twitch.

niobe said...

waiting amy: My first impulse is always to blurt out the truth, so, like you and cin, I need to plan out my lie in advance.

adrienne: I think that in many cases (though not always), the real evil is the thing that you're lying about. But, as they say, what trips you up is often not the crime, but the cover up.

One day, I'll do a post with a few tips for would-be liars. Though it sounds like there are many others who would have helpful advice.

thirtysomething said...

Interesting topic. Haven't really thought about it much, but I guess I can lie if it will keep someone from getting hurt, little white lies when the situation warrants it.

I know you can hear me... said...

Hmmm. I would say that I am good at leaving things out (or lying by omission) but as far as telling a lie - that I have to think about to make sure that I keep from blurting out the truth. So I guess I'm really not all that good. But knowing when others are lying? Now THAT I am exceptional at!

Furrow said...

I can't quite remember the last time I felt I might need to lie, except to myself.

jo(e) said...

I can't lie in person because I never think before I talk.

I suppose I could lie in writing if I wanted to.

Becky said...

I'm a terrible liar. I just keep going and going and going and going with whatever it is while my brain screams "STOP TALKING, YOU MORON!"

It's similar to the way I get when I'm feeling nervous and/or uncomfortable. I just cannot shut my mouth.

Zee said...

I'm terrible at telling lies, but I'm a pretty darn good liar by omission: not mentioning, diverting, or just plain clamming up. (Which is how those who know me well know I'm lying, since it's usually impossible to make me stop talking!)

Monica said...

Does embellishing count as lying? If so, then I'm a great liar. However only to certain people. I cannot lie to my husband. Somehow being caught lying is so much worse than lying so I end up confessing.