Friday, October 19, 2007

the sincerest form of flattery

A few brave bloggers have agreed to let me write mock posts, mimicking and very much exaggerating the writing style and subject matter of their blogs. My first efforts are below. Of course, if you haven't looked at these excellent blogs before and you want to compare the imitation to the real thing, just click through.

It's Not All Good
(With apologies to Julia at I Won't Fear Love)

At the liquor store, bottles of alcohol and the new mixes have arrived with the following prices affixed:RPS=$35.7 LBQT=$99.1 G-12=$23.24. Do the aforementioned numbers suggest I'll be doing the happy dance? Not so much. Suffice it to say that the price of lychee daiquiris can be expected to be going in a direction that has precisely an inverse relationship to down. I kid you not.

In the Old Country we have a saying, which, if you knew the Old Country Language, would make you pee in your pants laughing. But you don't. Know it, that is. Which is especially unfortunate. For you, I mean.

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Guilty
(with apologies to Beruriah at Further Records)

This morning at the coffee shop, a woman stamped on my left foot. Then she stole my coffee. Logically, I know it's not that important, and my first instinct is to help her, since she is clearly in need of coffee. Also, the coffee really wasn't all that expensive and I worry about hurting her feelings. On the one hand, my toes don't feel very good, but on the other, as things go, I don't really mind that much if people step on my feet. And, actually, it's almost stopped hurting. Still, I feel a little grumpy.

[warning: this paragraph discusses blogs] I had a bizarre dream last night. In the dream, I was writing a post on my blog. Then, for some reason, I hit publish and the post showed up on the screen, right in the space above my other posts. Then people began to comment and I read their comments. Sometimes, I even replied to them. What are your thoughts?


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A Very Small Update
(with profuse apologies to Zee at This Is Not What I Ordered!).

In case anyone is wondering why I haven't posted or commented for the last three months, it's because I pretty much said everything I had to say in my last post where I explained why I hadn't posted or commented in the five months before that. I know that these explanations might offend some people, so I apologize for these Dark And Extremely Negative Statements. I also apologize for The Capital Letters That Threaten To Stage A Hostile Takeover Of This Entire Paragraph And Establish Imperial Dominion Over My Whole Blog. Maybe that's unfair to capital letters, though.

So, anyway, what's up with you? I guess that's a kind of a stupid question, isn't it? And I wonder if it makes any sense at all to ask myself: don't you think that's probably something that I should have thought about and answered already? And, of course, the answer is, um, yes. Or maybe, um, no.

Anyway, I apologize for forcing you to read this post and for writing this blog. Also, I apologize for that last apology.


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Finally, for some very funny parodies of the not-quite-inimitable style of the blog you're currently reading, check out the comments to this post.

20 comments:

Zee said...

Heeheeheeheehee. I love it! This is hilarious, Niobe. (But, um, sorry for Apologizing So Much. I mean, I hope it doesn't offend anyone...)

meg said...

This is so funny. You got it completely spot on!

slouching mom said...

Julia's the only one of those bloggers I read, but I will say that your parody of her writing made me laugh out loud.

And...you're welcome to parody me. If it makes you happy.

wannabe mom said...

how fun! now i need to read zee's blog...zee do you mind??

Julia said...

SM, I too laughed out loud. :)

But it reminds me that I haven't discussed my latest cocktail choices in a while. Hm... I think I should do that. Since there are no numbers forthcoming in my immediate future.

Amelie said...

Great, Niobe. You're welcome to parody me too, and you're even allowed to skip the German part if you prefer that. Once I got into it, I really enjoyed trying to make up an imitation of your writing, though I'm not sure how well it worked. And it took quite some energy and courage to start it in the first place.

painted maypole said...

fun!

painted maypole said...

this would make a great meme, by the way. You parody someone, thereby tagging them to parody someone else, etc, etc.

Elizabeth said...

Like others, I don't feel like I have a particularly distinct voice - but it seems like it would be amusing to hear an echo back - so parody away, if you are so inclined. I loved these today!!!

Zee said...

Come on over, wannabe mom. Then I'll come over and read you too. Deal?

Becky said...

Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

I wonder what mine would sound like should you mimic my style (or lack thereof). Actually, I don't. It might make me blush :)

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

ohmygoodness you're fun.

Tash said...

Awesome. Making my day, and pointing out some great blogs.

Lori said...

Wow. Just wow.

Do me! Do me!

Furrow said...

That's great. Now I must go read these entertaining voices in their own words.

Beruriah said...

Thank you. I love it - except I would have been saddest that she'd stolen my reusable coffee cup. Until of course I remembered that she could reuse it too.

LAS said...

This is so fun - I wonder what mine would sound like?!! I was just thinking I need to change the whole tone of my blog actually. Anyway, I went and read the originals - what fun!

Angel Mom said...

LOL! Love it!

missedconceptions said...

Ok, Niobe. Now you have inspired me to give you a go once again. I will work in it this weekend and post in on my blog, instead of as a comment, with a link back to your original post.

On order to imitate you, I am going to have to sit down and actually analyze your style, so this make take some time.

niobe said...

Thanks, missedconceptions. I'm looking forward to it.