Friday, November 2, 2007

it can't all be wedding cake


There's something sad about the couple, standing together on top of all those layers, staring hopefully into an uncertain future, oblivious to the world reflected in the glass of the bakery window. Sad too, that there's a place where you can buy interchangeable brides and grooms, sold separately, of course.

Our wedding wasn't very well planned. I wore the dress my mother had worn at her first wedding, because it was easier than picking out a new one and because, as I told my mother, I had already worn it once before, when the dress had to be let out twice to fit over my mother's growing stomach. I didn't care about the bouquets or the menu and I'm not sure if we had place cards or favors. We didn't have a photographer and I said that the bridesmaids could wear whatever they wanted.

But L and I did spend an afternoon sampling wedding cakes. I told the bakery that I wanted the frosting to be a shade somewhere between ivory and butter and L chose a chocolate-raspberry filling. The bakery didn't like the shape or the color of the flowers I picked, so I had the florist put them on, arranged in a widening spiral.

It was a beautiful cake. But the reception went by so fast and there were so many people saying so many things, that by the time we went to look, the cake was gone. Entirely, completely, absolutely gone and somehow neither of us had had the chance to even taste a slice.

Tell me something about your wedding. Or someone else's wedding.


Edited to add: I love the comments to this post. They're a fascinating mix of touching, sad, and hilarious stories. If you haven't already, you should take a look at them. And, of course, add your own.

65 comments:

Beruriah said...

One of the best days of my life so far. We were most concerned about the menu - my dad was perturbed that we wanted the wedding to be vegetarian and practically accused us of being totalitarian despots. But I felt that I'd eaten enough crappy vegetarian options at weddings in my life to need to do it at mine. Meat options cost a lot and we could have so much good food for for so much cheaper. So we had this elaborate buffet for a good price and Josh spent a long time considering the menu. Contrary to my dad's concern that people wouldn't want to come if they didn't get steak, guests raved about the food. And we got hardly any of it. We had a gorgeous location in an old downtown women's club, with the bride's room on the second floor so I could watch the guests arrive. Since Josh is rather shy we tried to avoid dancing and got a local jazz band to play in hopes that it would encourage people to circulate and chat but we were of course eventually forced to dance. Fun though.

Aurelia said...

We got married when Kaz was a year old, and we did it in the backyard of a relative's home. We tried so hard to stay on budget, but it's kind of hard with caterers who don't really tell the truth about their "extra" charges! We served champagne and little tiny appetizers and had a cake made by Mr.Cotta's mother. It was a traditional fruitcake with butter icing. I thought it would be terrible tasting, but it turns out that it was the best cake I've ever ever had.

I got my dress at a funky place down on Queen W. that was definitely not a wedding dress store, and had one bridesmaid who got to wear whatever she wanted.

I did hire a photographer who took some really great candid shots and some fabulous black & whites.

meg said...

We had the best wedding. I know everyone says that, but for us it was exactly what we wanted.

It was at an old hall with a stage and a really cool balcony. Our only goal for the night, was to have a relaxed time, with no speeches and get our friends drunk out of their minds. My friend made my dress, we had no photographer (just friends), people ate good food (we did splurge on that), D played a couple of songs and we had a cake in the shape of a guitar, with a paintbrush on top.

All we said about our night, afterwards is that we threw a really good party. And how many times in life can you say that?

cinnamon gurl said...

I loved my wedding day... Indian buffet with some traditional western options, belly dancers, carrot cake, and I LOVED my dress: strapless with bronze beading. So much better than I ever would have thought.

Cate said...

My first wedding was in a park in Orlando, FL. As I was looking at my husband to be and saying my vows I thought, "This is going to end in divorce I just know it." It did, 3 years later.
My 2nd marriage was 7 months after losing my first pregnancy. We decided that since we had both been married before that we would have the cheesiest marriage we could. So we got married in Reno, NV at the ugliest wedding chapel in town. I had gained so much weight from the depression following my loss that I had my mom make my dress. We had pound cake from the hotel store for our wedding cake. Afterwards my family and my new husband and I went downstairs for dollar margarita night. It was everything I wanted in wedding. For having vowed I would never get married again after my harrowing first marriage, I think I did pretty well.

Waiting Amy said...

I did my own hair. It flopped by the end. We had a DJ. When I was older I wished we'd been more sophisticated like our friends and had a band. But we were young and poor and in reality we got to hear all our favorites and everyone said they had such a blast.

We had a Reconstructionist woman rabbi marry us (I was raised Catholic). My Irish relatives had never been to a Jewish ceremony and loved that they got to yell at the end "Mazel tov!" Then at dinner, a waitress dropped a plate and all my aunts yell -- Mazel Tov!

DD said...

Great question!

I bought my dress via mail-order and modeled it for Mr. DD when it arrived. Phooey on those "traditions".

The cake was made up of four "packages" stacked on top of each other, each a different color and textured icing.

I did not go with a color theme, either, but the bridesmaids all did wear the same dress, but they picked the shoes they wanted. Again, who cares as long as they are comfortable?

We never did take a honeymoon.

We bought a house instead.

Artblog said...

It rained.

We planned the ceremony and cocktail by the lake, instead we ended up in a squashed little room inside the château, cosy to be sure but rather tight for 250 guests.

The caterer was running very late, everyone standing around waiting for some food!

The flowers got mixed up with another wedding, mine were gorgeous, what bloddy ugly taste some bride somewhere else had!!!

My father got a little het up about everything and nothing with the band, it wasn't nice!

Oh, I remember my wedding day all right. Un forgettable!

They say rain on a brides day brings good luck to the marriage!

Hmmmmm...

thirtysomething said...

Bummer you did not even get a taste of your wedding cake! Sounds like it was divine.

Catherine said...

It rained...a lot. In fact, terms like, "Storm of the Century," were tossed around. Of course, I remember my aunts cackling that rain on your wedding day was a promise of many children. ha!

I remember the minister asking if anyone had any objections and, as if on cue, a loud crash of thunder rocked the stained glass windows in front of us.

And we never did get a, "You may kiss the bride," because Steve damn near passed out. I TOLD him to make sure he ate breakfast before the ceremony, but he claimed he was too nervous. So I practically had to carry him back down the aisle for the recessional...where I deposited him into the fellowship room and made him drink flat Coca Cola (it was all they had with sugar in it).

Yeah...we laugh now...but it all still stings a little bit, if I'm honest about it.

Renae said...

We got married on the Saturday after Thanksgiving and, atypical for our area of the country, it was 65 and sunny - more than perfect. I remember not giving a crap about anything - my only focus was Chris. We had a chocolate fountain (his only absolute) and cupcakes and apple/snicker fluff salad (there were other things but these are the things I remember). Our ring bearer fell asleep on the altar and I cried while I danced with my dad. And the best part, we hadn't had "relations" prior to our wedding day, and as we were driving to the B&B 25 miles down the road, we got pulled over for speeding by the deputy sheriff. We still laugh about that.

Amelie said...

Raspberry-chocolate cake and you didn't get one bit of it? That's really too bad.
In the summer a friend of mine got married to an American, so the pastor spoke both English and German in all parts of the service (though not always in the same extend). Later at the reception his mother gave a beautiful speech, about her son, and her now daughter-in-law, and it seemed that she is a lovely and kind woman, and that they have a really good relationship. I might have been a tiny bit jealous, but mostly really touched, and happy for them.

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

when i see people getting married i always want to whisper "be careful, and know that it may not be a smooth raod ahead." i think bc i wish someone would have told me that i could be infertile.

our wedding was small, beautiful, and inexpensive. in fact, if you google my first and last names and bride i usually come up in the context of a budget bride ; )

my favorite part of the wedding (besides eavesdropping and hearing k say "i've never been more sure of anything in my life" to his father and dancing to 'my one and only love' played by a string ensemble) was the colors i choose :dark red, yellow, orange, and green with touches of black. it was very monsoon wedding.

all in all a beautiful day.

the best wedding advice that i got was to have a meal catered from the wedding food and placed into our limo to eat as we drove around the city. advice which i suspect that you did not get.

Monica said...

We got married at the county courthouse by the Justice of the Peace. Then we went to a Mexican food restaurant and drank margaritas. My parents got married fifteen minutes before their marriage license expired at 11:45 AM at the Justice of the Peace's house. The witness was the J.O.P's wife. She wore curlers and a bathrobe. My mom wore red polyester pants. Forty-one years later they are still married. So I decided if that was good enough for my folks, it would be good enough for me. Do I regret it? No, we bought a wonderful house a few months later with all the money we saved (we spend only $40 for the license.. oh and about $50 on the margaritas). I'm just too practical to spend a lot of money on a wedding.. and maybe too jaded.

Rachel said...

My wedding was one of the most stressful and wonderful days of my life. I was 23 and my parents thought because they had both been married young and had failed 1st marriages, I was making a mistake. My mom kept me up until 3:30 the night before my wedding trying to talk me out of it. My dad told me that he wasn't going to walk me down the aisle. At the end of the night I told them that I was getting married and they would just have to diagree with my decision. It was the first time in my whole life I ever "disobeyed" my parents.

M and I had a beautiful wedding that both my parents attended, and yes, my dad ended up walking me down the aisle.

At the reception in my hometown 2 weeks later they acted like M and me getting married was the best thing that ever happened.

Rachel said...

I forgot to add that they have both since apoligized for their actions and said that they should have trusted their parenting skills enough to know I would make a good decision.

Tash said...

I thought after being with the Mr. for 13 years before getting married that it would be rather uninspiring, but it was just so exciting and wonderful. Got married in a field behind my aunt's. Wore blue. I'm not a wedding person, so really didn't care much, but everything turned out perfect. And Niobe, you're a woman after my heart because the ONLY thing I really cared about was the FOOD. Great caterer, pastries from Little Italy, Raspberry Brandy cake (and my florist decorated mine too). I'm so sorry you didn't get a taste! Instead of freezing the top (cuz, yuk) we went back on our anniversary and got another cake, same one. And 4 yeras later we had a daughter, on our anniversary. So we're now destined to champagne and left-over sheet cake for quite some time.

Beth said...

I never had a wedding.

I was supposed to have a wedding, but then we lost three babies in a row, and then I got pregnant with twins, and then one died, and then the other was born and then I had another miscarriage, and then we tried again and as soon as I got my two pink lines I found out he'd been screwing around, so ... yeah, never had a wedding.

OHN said...

Sad but true~~The spring/summer we married, 6 other couples in our "group" got married. I found out 10 years later that AT OUR RECEPTION all those couples made a bet that we would be "the" couple that would divorce. Guess what? we are going on 27 years and are the only ones still married out of that group...some of them have even been re-married twice since then...had affairs, kids are screwed up etc etc...needless to say we told them all to hit the road and got ourselves some new friends with class :)

Anne said...

Ahh, weddings. I refused to plan one for 2-1/2 years and still ended up married at 21. He had nothing to do with any of the planning, except I asked him to make *something* for centerpieces when my original idea crashed. I had the most unique ones: automatic gearshift parts welded together with a single burgundy candle in the middle. He was so proud of contributing those.

We were also married on a Friday night in January in the Midwest about two days after one of the bigger snow and ice storms came through - but everyone made it and we did donuts in the parking lot after the wedding. It was a great evening.

painted maypole said...

my husband presides over many, many weddings. his best story includes the father stepping on the train of his daughter's STRAPLESS gown, thus pulling the gown down to her waist and revealing her breasts in front of the entire church. As the bride ran back down the aisle the mother (mom and dad were divorced) LEAPT over pews and began pounding on the father.

needless to say the only rule my husband had for my dress was "it must have straps"

Magpie said...

I had a lovely wedding and I made the cake. And I got to eat some.

The single worst wedding I EVER went to was my cousin's. She was very involved with our grandparents and decided she wanted to get married on their anniversary. That year, it fell on the Friday before Labor Day. We'd left the City around 2, the trip that should have taken 45 minutes took 2 hours because of Labor Day traffic. We headed for the local fancy hotel, where we drank gins & tonic and I changed my clothes in the ladies room. The ceremony began at 6 and it went on and on - Catholic mass. The wedding party went off to be photographed, and the guests headed to the reception to drink and eat hors d'œuvres. We were sent into dinner around 11. The main course was served after midnight. Someone passed out at our table, plonk into her dinner plate (we didn't know her). The bride, a tomboy, was so made-up that you could have gouged lines on her cheeks. Awful. Simply horrendous.

And, they aren't married anymore. Because even though he knew she was unable to have kids before all that, afterwards he decided he wanted kids (and a wife who could bear them).

Becky said...

I hated getting married (I wanted to BE married, Vegas, preferably, but my husband would have NONE of it) and having all of the attention of everyone. In many of the pictures, you can see my husband whispering something to me, and it looks as though we're having an intimate conversation about our future together or something similarly schmaltzy.

He's actually talking me into staying for the rest of it.

Eva said...

Oh, I don't know what to say about mine. It was at my grandparents' home. I wore a ridiculously overwrought dress. My mom made the food. My best friends were bridesmaids. I wrote the ceremony. It was simple and nice. Then we were married and everything was the same as before!

Ruby said...

I was married in a relatives backyard. I was 16. The cake (that was forgotten until that morning) was from a grocery store. The man that married us forgot to send in the legal paperwork.

Twenty-three years later I wouldn't change a thing.

Caro said...

We got married in the church in the village where I grew up and then had the party in a marquee in my parents garden.

We ate curry from an Indian restaurant nearby, had locally brewed beer and a divine chocolate cake which we ate for dessert with fruit. Oh and there was one tier left which we ate later - just the two of us.

Oh and it poured down with rain all day but I didn't care.

Libby said...

My brother married a (lovely, sweet, wonderful) girl from Long Island, where they got married. Their wedding was big fun and a cultural study for me. (We're from Seattle.) I met three guys named Vinnie in one day! (Haven't met any before or since.) They had ice sculptures! Everyone gave them envelopes with checks inside! (No one does that here - I was rather impressed.) Immediately after the ceremony the bridesmaids (which I was) and groomsmen stood in two lines facing each other, then raised arms and joined hands to make a bridge, which the couple came jogging through. It felt like I was at an NBA game at that point.

Very sorry you didn't get to eat any of your cake - it sounds delicious.

Betty M said...

We got married with a plain vanilla civil ceremony on our 10th anniversary in a Tudor house in the East end of London. We ate Persian food and had a french style tower of choux buns and spun sugar instead of cake - but I hardly ate a thing. We danced till we dropped but I have no idea what the first song was. I wore an Armani trouser suit. Everything was just as I wanted it - no favours, place cards, bridesmaids, menus - just good food, wine and our families and friends. Only downer was Mr's dad. In interests of family harmony we let him do a speech (he is not a nice man - abandoned Mr's mother with 3 kids under 7, barely gave her a penny, didn't behave well when she died before they finished high school etc etc). Anyhoo his speech was primarily about him, the evil stepwitch and their parakeets.

The worst wedding I've been to involved being lectured at by a Penecostal minister about how all non-christians (oh that would be me then) will burn in hell. Oh I laughed when they got divorced 5 months later.

Julia said...

We didn't have figurines on the cake. When we were cutting it, the band was playing something lyrical, and we spontaneously started dancing. My maid of honor still teases me about the "fire engine red" of the bridesmaids dresses (they were red, but not fire engine). My aunt made my headpiece, and we have since used it in our theater performances. JD's friend from high school spontaneously and at the last minute decided to show up from the Old Country. They had a series of misadventures, but made it for most of the party. Our videographer sucked, and thus we are missing some really good parts from the party, and his filming of the ceremony was pretty pathetic too. Our photographer, though, was great. I finally put together our copy of the wedding album in the summer before last-- for our tenth anniversary.

Rosepetal said...

It was a beautiful day, after having hailed the week before, but cold. I was cold in my dress. We had two weddings on the same day - a civil ceremony and a Hindu wedding. We both cried when we said our vows in the civil ceremony (no vows needed in the Hindu ceremony). I didn't want or have any bridesmaids but we had three witnesses sign the register.

megan said...

our wedding was perfect. small, casual, and on an island off the coast of the BC mainland. my husband's family walked him down to the dock where the ceremony was, and my family walked me down. we had no attendants. it was a very organic experience as everyone had to chip in to make it work and they did. it was just glorious. i would do it again in a heartbeat.

Ms. Planner said...

My shoes cost more than my dress. Sigh. I still love those shoes and wear them at every dress up event I can manage.

Oh, and we had a pinata for the little kid guests. One of my favorite pictures is of dozens of children scrambling on the grass for matchbox cars, plastic ponies and candy when the pinata finally went down. In the middle of all the children is our dog, Gus, nose down, looking for some prizes, too.

Anonymous said...

These comments are seriously funny.

Mine was a wonderful Jewish wedding with the hora, chairs in the air and lots of wine. It really was a memorable night. Nothing that funny or simple or spectacular but it was special in every way for me.

Oh, on our 1st anniversary the woman who made our cake made us a tiny cake to celebrate with. Just in case you want to try yours.

charmedgirl said...

i never told anyone this...i was so superstitious about the cake that not only did we eat it on our first anniversary, but on the second and third as well. i then saved a two-bite piece for us in the back of the freezer with "2007" (our seven year anniversary) in black marker written on the tiny container. i'm weird about numbers and i like 3 and 7. believe it or not, it still tasted good...sugar and flour are the devil!

Searching said...

My wedding was perfect. Minor flaws here and there, but nothing catastrophic I couldn't let roll off my back. Something sweet: My husband and I had never danced together, ever. 6.5y of dating at that point. So he said no first dance the entire 2.5y I was planning our wedding. I always thought he would come around but there we stood, just about to go down the aisle and he was telling the DJ no first dance. I was halfway crushed, but seeing as 10min earlier I had panicked and tried to be a runaway bride, figured I owed it to him to let this one go. (Arg, yes, tears and begging for car keys to ANY car because I had cold feet of ice minutes before show time. In front of all the wedding party, pastor, DJ, caterers, etc). So we did the whole beautiful amazing ceremony and the two of us went up the staircase into the room to sign the marriage license with bestman and maid of honor and the pastor. We signed and then my husband took my hand and asked me to dance. So we danced our first dance together, finally husband and wife. No music, didn't matter the other three were in there. It was wonderful. Then we got to make our grand entrance down the staircase (my dream) and the DJ announced our first dance. I looked at hubby with surprise because I thought we agreed no dance, but he had gone and told the DJ to do one when I wasn't looking. The photographer and videographer both captured that moment. And yes, it was the sweetest first dance ever. We both cried. (I have pics in my blog a few posts down). Sigh, I'm such a sap. :)

I love your story about your cake and flowers. Kudos to getting what you want. :) Love the phrase about you wearing the dress already. Thanks for sharing!

M said...

Best day EVER. I was 31 so had a good idea of what I wanted, much to my mothers disgust. My friend is a designer and designed my dress, which had a vivid purple underlay with swarovski crystals and jaggedy ripped bits (very hard to describe - but it was awesome, plain but cool or so I thought!). I didn't want a cake but my mother insisted, so we had chocolate mud, white mud and fruit cake with purple and yellow hearts on it and cool little cartoon people on top. We also chose the music we loved much to the horror of many - as we like rock/alternative type music that's exactly what we had! One of the most amazing things I remember about my wedding was that despite copious drinking, I did not pee ALL DAY! Which I think was quite a feat!

x

Kathy McC said...

Everything went great that day. But for some reason, my most vivid memory was accidentally dipping my dress into the toilet while trying to pee...with three of my bridesmaids holding the dress up over my head. Pretty darn funny.

Beck said...

My wedding was HORRIBLE - my mother in law insisted that we had to invite all of her millions of friends, so we had 250+ people, and I only knew 50 of them. But I did get 5 crockpots and an awesome husband out of it, so hey.

Grad3 said...

I have to say that when I first saw the picture of the cake- all I could think about was how good my cake was. Not that I am trying to rub it in- but it was freaking awesome! It was layered with butter cream and fresh strawberries. Sorry, but man do I still think about that cake!

However, my middle sister never got a any of hers. She was able to bring it home- 20+ slices but my eldest sister's dog ate it all during the night. Bags and all! Guess he thought it was good :)

tipsymarie said...

What a wonderful day. I wish I'd been less excited because I just couldn't let it all sink in. I look back now and wished I'd remembered to breathe. Oh, and not drink so much. But it made for a hilariously cheesy wedding video that I'm so glad we have. Everyone had a great time, the food and cake were good, D and I still say it was one of the best days of our lives, if not the best.

My Reality said...

My in-laws meddled a bit too much in the whole wedding plan, so we cancelled it and packed our bags and went to Jamaica and got married on the beach. It was perfect.

My most memorable kiss was on my wedding day. I wouldn't say it was the best kiss, but certainly the most memorable.

LAS said...

I called my first wedding off 4 months before the date - that was 5 years ago. There is a beautiful wedding dress hanging in my closet - I don't really know what to do with it - and he has a very beautiful and custom made ring in a safety deposit box somewhere. My second wedding, was on June 2, 2006 - at the courthouse - two hours after my first chemo treatment. No one was there but us and we never had a real wedding. We did it for the wrong reasons. I don't know why he did it - but I did it because I thought no guy would ever want me again after having breast cancer. I ended up kicking him out before I even finished treatment. Turns out I would rather be alone and unhappy than unhappy with someone. I'm still worried that no one will want me again and I'm worried I won't ever have that real fairy tale wedding I always wanted - or that fairy tale relationship - or fairy tale life... It makes me sad actually.

ms. G said...

Niobe, I can't believe you did a wedding post, as I was just thinking about my wedding and thinking of posting about it.

I loved my wedding. I don't like being the center of attention, and originally we were just going to go down to the courthouse. But, after some thinking it over, even that seemed odd to me, to be surrounded by strangers. So, we paid the 50 dollars to make my sister legal to marry us for one day. It took place at our tiny cramped apartment with only family. I wore jeans and a white shirt. I made my own bouquet with white roses from Costco. After, we had cake, iced coffee and soda. The cake was from a bakery my grandma use to take us to, it was my way of including her. The guests sat on $5 dollar cheap chairs I had picked up because we didn't have enough seating. Then we all went outside and took pics in front of our apartment.

Mr. G and I were together 10 years before we got married, and didn't decide to do it until we had kids. We got married 8 months after M died. We used traditional vows with some additions to include a candle lighting for M in the ceremony. I loved it. On our 1 year anniversery, we took a bite of cake, frozen in our freezer.

Our wedding was so "us", you can assume so much about me based on its details.

SaraS-P said...

My mom chose an expensive caterer that I never would have chosen, then backed out of paying for it a week before the wedding! We had to pay with one of those high interest credit card checks.

My mom also invited about 50 people that I had never even met.

My dad gave me one of his paintings as a wedding gift, and we used that as a center display in place of an arch. We were married by a judge, and we faced the crowd instead of having our backs to everyone.

I made everyone laugh by shouting "I certainly do!" and by later tripping over my skirt and losing my veil in the process.

We had a traditional New Orleans brass band at the reception, and we had two impromptu second lines that sprouted up during the reception, with people twirling the cloth napkins around, and the non-New Orleanians looking perplexed and/or intrigued.

It was stressful, we were glad when it was over, but everyone seemed to have a good time.

missing_one said...

When DH and I finally decided to tie the knot (a year after my son was born) I planned the whole wedding in a month. It was four months later when I found out I was pregnant and would be 7 months along during our wedding. So now I have all these beautiful wedding pictures....with a baby inside....but now when someone looks at them, we can't help but tell the story...a knocked up bride who didn't get to keep her baby. How screwed up is that? really? REALLY?????!!!!

Coggy said...

I spent the evening before my wedding worrying about my step-mum who was on a drinking to destruction phase after the death of my father. I was so worried she was going to make a scene. Thankfully she held it together.
I'd had my nails done the day before the big day and by the end of the evening I'd managed to break three of them. I had to rush to the store to buy a nail kit and fix them myself. What a waste of money :o)
We got married in a Unitarian Chapel, we did the flowers ourselves in the church, lavender was my theme. I had it woven into my hair.
DH put together all the music for the chapel, and the reception and we wrote our own vows. We got married on Good Friday (cheaper to get married on a week day) and the sun shone all day. We were very lucky, I still enjoy looking at the pictures from that day. It turned out to be an amazing day.
Oh and our cake was beautiful, three tiered, fruit cake and decorated with handmade flowers to match my bouquet.
We had so much cake that we were literally eating it for months after the wedding. I've kept the flowers from the cake in a box. Maybe I'll make a cake for one of our anniversaries and use them.

T said...

Great, now I want cake - weight watchers be damned!

I got married very young (IMO)- wasn't sure it was going to last actually. I thought there was a potential for him getting his green card and skipping out on me (filthy foreigner!) - but I wanted to go to Europe and we kinda you know, loved each other and stuff, so it would have been nice if he could have re-entered the US since we lived together.

I called my mother and told her we would be home for Thanksgiving and to get married (lived in San Francisco at the time - home = Boston) - she asked if I was pregnant, so hilarious in hindsight. Hilarious then too - little did I know he didn't want to have children (originally).

I was going to make my own wedding dress - yeah, that didn't work out as well as I would have hoped.

The wedding was very status quo -nothing extraordinary (especially the hideous music, my mother didn't ask them about ANY of the songs I requested, thanks Mom) - everyone said it was a lot of fun, best wedding they've ever been to, etc., etc.,. MIL was amazed at the lack of broad brimmed hats here in the US,since hers needed a seat of its own on the flight over.

Things I remember: not having any cash (I mean - who would?) and missing the open bar b/c of the pictures that everyone *seems to want* (heh, heh) so having to borrow money to buy a drink at my own wedding! and 'sex on the beach' shots or maybe they were woo woo's - mind you, it was a long time ago. Almost 17 years now and we actually made it through infertility too. Hey now! Not bad for something thrown together in a few months.

Sorry for the novel!

Rebecca said...

The things people remember are weird, to me. They remember the food (a BBQ) and the music (punk and old-school rock, each track chosen by Himself and I, played by a GOOD DJ [this is because the music at our engagement party sucked]). They remember the DJ playing Nellie the Elephant twice.

I remember: Himself gazing at me from the end of the aisle with such love in his eyes, my sleeves, my stepfather-in-law calling me 'daughter in law', getting my period while my bridesmaid helped with my dress, the bridal suite and its bathroom, the fact my new husband was on sleeping tablets and hallucinating all the way through the honeymoon.

Kier said...

My wedding was the most fun day of my entire life. We planned it all in 3 months but it was perfect in every way.
Unfortunately I have a nervous stomach and just as we were sitting down to eat the delicious food we'd chosen my tummy started rumbling. I had to run to the bathroom and somehow flung my huge, heavy, princess-skirted dress off and into the waiting arms of my sister who was standing outside of the stall. I spent the next 30 minutes in the stall suffering from a major case of the run (TMI, I know, sorry!) and my sister and I were in hysterical laughter. She hid in the stall next to me (the reception hall had a HUGE women's bathroom with about 20 stalls) so that no one we knew could come in and bother me with questions about "when are you coming out??". Yes, my tummy finally felt better and I got back to my kick-a$$ reception, but I never got to eat the yummy food. It was taken away when I got back.

But I did get tons and tons of cake. And it really wasn't that good.

Kristen said...

My wedding was one of the best days of my life. I was suprisingly calm after frantically planning it (90% of it by myself) for 9 months. I was proud that everything turned out so well even without a wedding coordinator.

My brother just happened to develop an alcohol problem months before my wedding and backed out of coming, saying he didn't really give a shit about it. 6 months after my wedding, he called me to apologize. But I look back and I'm sad that he and my nephews could not be a part of my special day.

We are the only retards on the planet who chose to get married on a Wednesday. We wanted June 21, being the summer solstice and longest day of the year, and it just so happened to fall smack in the middle of the week. It did, however, get us great deals from all of our vendors and the weather wound up being the best it had been in weeks. No rain, no clouds. Just sunny and as close to perfect as I could hope for.

thrice said...

Should have been an omen for things to come. A freak blizzard came in APRIL. Plus I was pissed at Hank for a couple of assanine things.

Birdies Mama said...

Our wedding was SO FUN! Like Beruriah and Josh we insisted on a vegetarian menu, and our parents where freaked out about it! It cost less and I could not stand the thought of knowing that animals would be slaughtered to be served up at our wedding! The cake was delicious too...vegan! SO YUMMY! With caramel apples upon it too! Hot and cold apple cider, as it was a fall new england wedding...how could we not have apple cider! I wore a beautiful and very affordable traditional wedding gown made in India...a Lehnga Choli that was custom made to my size for under $400! The coolest part, it was pink! I never saw myself in a white traditional gown....and I love Indian culture, and after I had photographed a traditional Indian wedding the year before the bride in one of her bridal wear changes had worn a Lehnga Choli...I loved the looks of it.

It poured rain on our wedding day and night....we guessed that it was a sign, for 9 months later we made Birdie.

It was a really fun and beautiful wedding, we wrote our own vows, designed our ceremony and a friend married us. We had family and friends from all over the country come...it was just so spectacular!

Lisa b said...

I got married in the Cathedral in Toronto. It is a tourist attraction so when I had entered it was only full in the first few rows but when I turned to leave it was packed. A few of the guys from the homeless shelter also came and one got in the receiving line in front of my boss. It was a hoot.

Your cake comment caught my attention. I had fruitcake so there was lots left over but I made sure to take a piece to my friend at her wedding as I had heard stories similar to yours where the bride never tasted her cake.

Maybe you can do that for someone one day. My friend really appreciated that I did thought to do that for her.

Jitters said...

I didn't care about the cake.

In my younger days, I used to blurt out things I thought with little thought. I have not changed much except in delivery. Hmm....

In one of my "ideas" I told my grandmother (then 80) that I wanted her strudel for my wedding. She was touched and made strudel for 160 guests. It is still the best memory of my wedding. I remember standing up to thank everyone and when I got to her I teared up for the first time that day. Her recipe is in her mind only and I have attempted to recreate it rather closely, but it is always a bit off. I learned my lesson when I asked for her kolache recipe and decided it was easier to spend the day making them with her to learn and make my own notes. She taught my mother how to make the strudel and I will learn her recipe when the time is right.

Back to the cake. My mother was appalled that I would not have cake, even though I strongly stressed there would be no cake cutting ceremony or forced cake feeding frenzy. I gave in an let her buy a small cake from a local bakery and we decorated it with mums from her garden. The finishing touch was a set of bride and groom salt 7 pepper shakers I found at an antique shop.

I would not change a thing about the day I was married, nor would I do it again.

Robyn said...

`My mother thought I was making a huge mistake and refused to come to the ceremony because it was in a Catholic church. She even accused me of coming between her and my dad as he insisted that she could make whatever choices she wanted to but he was still going to walk me down the aisle and give me away. We have joked for years that there would be no divorce while my mother was still alive...I would never give her the satisfaction of saying "I told you so".

My dad asked me before the wedding not to let my mother's decision cause a rift between us and though I was incredibly hurt I tried to live up to that promise to my dad.

And now my mother has gone I'm so glad I made that effort because I am sure she regretted it, although she would never, ever, own up to that. And she built a wonderful relationship with my husband and surprised me by being a fabulous grandmother!

Robyn

LawMommy said...

On the day D and I got married, it was 95 degrees by 10:00 AM. I had insisted the groomsmen and my groom wear grey wool morning coats. The air conditioning broke at the reception, and there was no a/c at the church at all. Whenever anyone says anything about my wedding, they say, "it was HOT. It was really really really HOT."

Not so bad as my sister's wedding, the year before mine, during which the KKK had a rally in the square facing the church during the ceremony. (Seriously. Talk about lousy timing.) There were police officers on horses and screaming protestors...

Sunny said...

I LOVED my wedding. My mom planned her dream wedding for mine. :) She got married right out of high school to a loser. The marriage lasted a year. She remarried the following year to my dad. Her MIL hated her and made her wear blue velvet. My mom felt so ashamed.

So my wedding was a dream. My rehearsal not so much. I wanted dancing by my IL's don't dance. I ended up carrying a plate of food in one hand and my shoes in the other talking to people who I didn't know. At one point the food and shoes were taken away. I never got to eat any of it.

Emily said...

I do love readint these stories!

My wedding was beautiful. We invited 80 people and 150 came. I remember the way all of their butts were smashed in the pews and the way they smiled at me. There were enormous claps of thunder that rattled the stained glass windows and J and I giggled at one another. My Dad and I stood at the back of the church and when they opened the doors to the sanctuary my breath caught and I don't think I breathed again until J kissed me.

J's family was....difficult. His grandmother wept loudly and openly on the 2nd pew. His father is scowling in all of our wedding photos. But we were and are happy and I almost can't remember their drama, anymore. That was 11 years ago.

Isis said...

And to think I thought I was the only one for whom cake was the number one wedding priority. Well, after the wedding, of course.

Loved the post.

Maddie's Mom said...

Our wedding was a mix of happy and sad, Scottish and Celtic, and fairytale all rolled into one. I planned and planned and planned, and in the end I walked away a few days before the ceremony to see my sister-in-law alive for the last time. I dropped all my perfect plans in the laps of my fiance, and my maid and matron and left town. I came back the day before the wedding and tried to pick up things as best as I could. We worked our rumps off to get the church decorated the way I had envisioned. My brother called me from the hospital to wish me luck from him and my sister-in-law. It took all I had not to break down at that point. My life was starting a new chapter while someone I loved so much was slipping away.
The wedding itself was a beautiful. I was actually amazed that almost everything fell into place. My dad messed up my veil and our unity candles were completely melted when we went to use them to light our candle, but who cares. Everyone had a great time.

Christine said...

we also had a chocolate cake with raspberry filling.

Elizabeth said...

My wedding was pretty boring, so I offer you my sister's.

Her first wedding was everything my parents wanted for her - a tall, handsome groom who was the son of missionaries; his pastor married them in a little country church and the music was Pachelbel's Canon. My mom made the dress and veil, I was maid of honor. She was 20. They were divorced six years later.

Her second wedding was everything she wanted - the groom was a tattooed surfer in love with life; they were married by a justice of the peace on the beach. She wore an ice-blue recycled bridesmaid's dress that managed to elide her 3-months-along bump; he wore a Hawaiian print top and khaki pants. Eleven months later, he died.

She is currently engaged, and tells me they're going to elope.

Clementine said...

I've been married 3 times to the same woman. First was a civil union in VT, just us and the Justice of the Peace. I cried so much during the vows that my face was all splotchy in the photos that were taken right after.

Our second wedding was a Holy Union at our church. I wore a handmade veil and never once put down my bouquet.

Our third wedding was our legal marriage. The night before equal marriage became legal in MA on May 17, 2004, the city of Cambridge had a huge celebration. They opened up their city hall to allow all the couples who'd waited so long to apply for marriage licenses as soon as the clock struck midnight. Petunia and I were there, and I'll never forget the thousands of well-wishers who came out for the event. We were legally married on the 17th, and I'll always remember the city clerk saying, "By the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you legally married."

Monica H said...

I got married almost 3 years ago in March in a small mansion (that used to be a nut house). It was beautiful and quaint. We planned to get married outdoors int he courtyard, but it rained all day. The day after it was 70 degrees and not a cloud in the sky.

I bought my shoes from Payless (!) because I couldn't find any I liked and I refused to pay a lot for white shoes I would never wear again. I did actually wear them again (for Halloween). I never drank any punch, because I wasn't offered any by the waiters and they ran out of food by the time they got to our table. But everything was perfect to me.

I'm now craving wedding cake...mine was carrot cake with butter cream icing. It was so good. I had 2 bridesmaids and they wore black and carried red peonies, tulips, roses and anemones. When I think of it, that was the last time I was truly happy. Everything has gone down hill ever since.

Smiling said...

I loved my wedding.. it was simple. Nearly all decisions had been made by quickly scanning options and choosing whatever was easiest and least likely to cave on the actually day.

Details that jump to mind...
- My husband and I pitched a tent and spent our wedding night on the very spot we exchanged vows
- my beloved 90 year old grandma was the only non-immediate family member to make it to our wedding (she lived with us)
- we forgot to buy beer and on the wedding morning hike (a spontaneous choice when everything, minus the beer we forgot, was done that could be done in advance - the only time in my life that has happened) we delegate to the first person we met on the hike to buy and bring the beer!
- a very conservative Christian in-law burst into song... in Hebrew which confused and delighted me.
- my best friend/brides maid and I did each other's hair in half the time (combined) as it took the photograph to to hers. And my friend's updo lasted through some midnight swimming and a windy beach hike the next day!

It was a great day. I should create more moments like that...