knowing my limitations
"I certainly have not the talent which some people possess," said Darcy, "of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done."
"My fingers," said Elizabeth, "do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women's do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault--because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman's of superior execution."
This passage from Pride and Prejudice has always pained me because it describes two of the things I most regret being unable to do. I'm terrible at small or even medium talk and, though I come from a family of musicians, I have trouble distinguishing one note from another. But, unlike Elizabeth, I don't believe that my lack of ability comes from want of practice. Instead, sadly, it's a question of irremediable deficits in, respectively, temperment and talent.
What are your limitations? What is it that you can't do well, but really wish you could?
34 comments:
i cannot sing, not to save myself, though i long to and love to lift my crow-croaking voice in joyful song. painful, i tell ya.
more seriously, i seem to have an irremidiable deficit of patience. i try. i mask it, sometimes. but i look for it, that river of it i keep imagining must be there somewhere to draw from...and i come up dry. and chippy.
Aside from the obvious - get pregnant?
Accept things graciously. The good and the bad.
I suck enormously.
I regret being often unsatisfiable and/or short-tempered.
When I see people naturally happy and good-natured (my husband, my younger daughter), I feel that this limitation is not only a question of not trying hard enough, but also inherent to my character. My eldest daughter has this same trait at age four, clearly my genes at work.
Well, there is the obvious thing that I can't do...
But other than that, I can't think of anything else that I don't do well...hmmm...maybe I'm not very affectionate? But I don't really consider that an outright defect. Other than that, I've got nothing.
Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to find something else, if I think of anything, I'll be sure to comment again!
Let things go. Not grief necessarily, this is new to me and I understand it needs time to simmer and do its thing. But the other stuff. I carry a lot of baggage, even though I try and be very zen and understand that it just occupies my brain in unhealthy ways.
Be patient and friendly with others -- some drive me nuts very easily, and it's not like they actually have to do something wrong. We just don't "fit", and it would be easier if I could ignore that. Depending on that, small talk can be a ok, or a pain.
As for the fingers, well, my piano teacher always said "Your fingers are so talented, Amelie, but if you don't practice..." and unfortunately he was right. I regret that, too.
I, too, wish I could sing. My daughter can sing. She has been compared to Charlotte Church, but she has no interest in following that call. I envy her immensely.
Other than that, I am short in forgiveness for myself.
I find it absolutely painful to mingle. I would rather spend 4 hours talking to 2 people in 2 separate blocks then "work a room."
Also, I find it a constant challenge not to compare myself and everything I have to others without becoming jealous. It's a self-torture mechanism, I think. And it makes me feel terrible from every possible angle.
Carry a tune. Join in "Happy Birthday" without being ashamed.
I cannot possibly spell to save my life, but this doesn't bother me one bit.
When I was 14, I got my tonsils out and the doctor told me I would likely never sing opera (not an issue. I can't sing anyway), so now being the pain in the butt person I am, I wish I could. I'd love to have a gorgeous singing voice, but sadly, I sound more like a mad cat on a chalkboard.
(sighs)
Could be worse. Much worse.
be crafty -- sew, knit, etc.
i'm left-handed, and whether it's because i was never taught properly, or because i'm simply a spaz, i can't seem to learn how to sew/knit.
oddly, i play piano quite well.
dunno.
I wish I was more confident and that I didn't have trouble making small talk, especially with people I don't know well.
Your great blogging makes up for it;)
Oh, forgive and forget and reserve judgment. But I'm not sure those things are really such great things to do anyway. See how I justify?
I wish I didn't take things personally. I never say anything about it, and am quite good at keeping it to myself, but my feelings get hurt WAY too easily.
I also wish that I were good at art. I never have been, which is certainly not for lack of desire.
there are too many things to list.
Running on empty
Sing.
I can't do small talk and I can't hide when I am bored. I wish I could play a musical instrument - any one would do.
I have no athletic ability -- I was always the kid picked last for team sports & hiding in the outfield, hoping the ball wouldn't find me. It certainly doesn't matter as much as an adult as it did when I was a kid, but the memories still sting. I much prefer solo pursuits, like yoga & walking.
Sing. And keep my mouth shut when it's the best thing to do. I'd love to be able to do those things.
I can play the guitar and I can sing but only other peoples stuff. I am a someone who can learn thing well. I can play what others have composed but I can't write stuff myself. I have no creativity in that sense and it really annoys me.
Sometimes, I wish I could lie really well. Just to spare feelings in some cases.-Nothing unethical or anything like that. I'm just not very good at it and people always know.
Oh Niobe, did you have to post this when I am having a feeling bad about myself moment? Now my list could go on and on....
Well, you named one of mine- small talk. Very, very bad at that. I also wish I was more graceful. Physical things always seem to take me longer to learn than everyone else.
Ummm, just about everything everyone has listed here.
-sing
-be athletic
-be artsy or craftsy
-play music
-keep my mouth shut
-effortlessly make small talk (I can do it, but I'm kind of faking it.)
Whistle
Snap
Do a Cartwheel
Write an iota as compelling as you
I can sing though.
1) Make small talk - maybe this is why blogging is so grand? and 2) dance (I dance fine when no one's looking - but I would NEVER break it down in public!)
I am SUCH a sucker for Pride & Prejudice! I saw Darcy followed by Elizabeth in a quick flash and knew instinctively what awaited me. Can't get enough of those two!
Where are my limitations...so many, so little room to type. Singing, dancing, following my own advice, enjoying the small victories, dwelling on my limitations...
Well i wish I could bring home a live baby. That would be great. But other than that, I wish I could play the piano. I cant play at all, never tried but when I see people play I think they are so clever.
I think it would be a wonderful talent to have.
Hugs
xxx
I've always wanted to play the oboe because I just love the sound. Given my performances on the recorder...not likely to make a good oboe player.
And I would love to be able to draw and paint. Just quick, little sketches of things that I see each day. Instead of distorted, weird representations that Picasso would be proud of.
And patience...more of that. RIGHT NOW!
wow. that list is long. drawing is one of them.
Lots of the same ones, draw, small talk (I'm painfully shy with people I don't know), play an instrument better than adequately (I never practised much which doesn't help), be sporty oh and there are more...
I cannot sing. I love to sing, and am generally to be found warbling (in my head) may way around the house. I would love for this noise not to be painful to others.
Look completely interested when I'm not. I have a half-decent faked interest face that serves for conversations and small talk and work, but which is utterly collapsed with friends or family. I would love to either be able to be interested in these things or, at the very least, look it.
Definitely make small talk, and its subcategory: remembering names and faces. I am so horrifically bad at this social skill. Always have been--and if this bad in my "younger" years, what will become of me later?!
I wish I could be tidy and organized, but I can't seem to manage it. Ever.
I am horrible at small talk.
But I learned to sing, to carry a tune. That was one accomplishment I was and still am very proud of.
My spelling, unaided by Firefox, is bad, although not as horrible as it once was. This is a non-intuitive language is all I have to say about that.
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