Wednesday, July 2, 2008

in search of

For a bunch of unbloggable reasons, Kyrie has decided that she wants to switch to a new ob and has delegated the task of looking for one to me. My knee-jerk reaction would be to go with the satellite office of one of the big downtown teaching hospitals, but there are two fairly insurmountable problems.

First, I'm not very fond of one of the doctors who practices there,* mostly because of a comment he once made to me that was, in its own special way, a minor classic of over-the-top insensitivity. Second, and more importantly, when Kyrie called to set up an appointment, she was informed that they had a policy of not accepting surrogates as patients. I'm sure that the person who told her that was misinformed, but, understandably, Kyrie was very upset and has no interest in going there.

For obvious reasons, I don't want to ask friends or colleagues for recommendations. So this is where your collective wisdom and expertise comes in. How (besides random google searches) should I go about finding a practice? What should I be looking for? What questions should I ask?



*I don't think there would be any way to avoid this particular doctor since my understanding is that you're not assigned to a specific doctor within the practice, but see whichever one happens to be available at the time of your appointment.

24 comments:

Eva said...

I think I just chose the closest place covered by my insurance. I'm sure there are better ways!

Christine said...

I have no idea., but i bet there is some sort of website that sorts and searches obs based on user ratings...

good luck!

debbie said...

I called the clinic where our IVF was done and spoke to one of the nurses I really liked. I asked her to recommend the best and then I just went down the list and started calling (it helped that a friend also recommended one of the doctors that was on the nurse's list). The nurse knew me, so she gave me pretty candid comments. Could you do the same?

DD said...

I was going to suggest what Debbie did and that was to ask the RE.

Also, going out on a limb here, but if Kyrie was unhappy with the OB then why wouldn't she want some kind of say in a new one? I know you said it was unbloggable, but if she could at least let you know what word of mouth on local OBs have been, it might help.

flutter said...

Ugh, that is rough. I think calling your insurance provider and explaining your situation and asking for help is a good start

Becky said...

I called and spoke to the Peri that I really trusted. He referred me.

I loved the office (and still do most of the time) but there is one doctor who I know for a fact 'overlooked' something on a girl thats in our support group. He made me cry on Friday. Yesterday I told my adored doctor that I didn't want to see him anymore. I didn't put him down, I just said something like "I need stability and I need to feel comfortable...I feel comfortable with you...blah blah blah." He agreed, and said it was my right as a patient.

So if you like that practice, you absolutely have the right to say that you don't want to see him. I don't see the guy that killed my Riley, and I don't see the guy that killed this other lady's baby.

You're allowed to not care what they think. You're human.

--carole said...

an odd idea, maybe -- recently angie's list added medical/health categories to their user-rated lists. you can read about docs women have used and get the women's honest reviews. you'd have to join angie's list to read the reviews, but the fee is low.

maybe also contact your local chapter of the resolve network...perhaps someone there can give you a good referral?

Aurelia said...

friends, ask friends, especially bereaved moms in the area, they were my best resource in the end, also what about the surrogacy agency? they might know of a practice that is friendly to surrogates?

god i went back to that post and read those comments...oh lord...

Tash said...

As I just posted, I got mine via a visit to the ER. They know a lot. Not that I recommend drumming up a reason to visit one.

Otherwise I'm clueless, and if I decide to do this again (stop it) I will need a new one too as per new delivery hospital. Sigh.

Sorry for the headache.

Amelie said...

Since you weren't happy with the last doctor/practice, I guess that's at least partly good news?

I'm not of much help on picking doctors... the last time I tried to do this properly, I spoke with doctors at the hospital where I had had surgery for a condition my previos doc did not recognize, and legally they're not allowed to give such recommendations (or so I was told) but they did tell me a name or two. But the wait lists were long, and then I moved away. And here, I picked by language (i.e. a handful of candidates) and specialization...

Magpie said...

I'd ask the RE.

And this is probably a good move, right?

Kymberli said...

I'll ask around in my circles and see what I can find for you.

My Reality said...

Is 1-800-Doctors still around? I found a fantastic OB/GYN through there when I was in the States, but that was probably about 12 years ago now. I called, told them what I was looking for, they had profiles of doctors in the area and gave me a few to choose from. I don't know if that would be something you were comfortable with or not, but it served me well all those years ago.

thirtysomething said...

hmmm.
well, when I first moved to AVL and became pregnant with Journey, I searched the offices by looking to see which had practicing midwives. The assumption being that, if midwives were practicing there, it was an open-minded place and with a certain amount of patient/dr. relationship and likeability not usually found in the typical sterile dr. office.
G'luck!

k@lakly said...

I'd ask nurses, the ones who work the OB floor at the hosp. where she will deliver. You wouldn't even have to explain why or who you are or you could just call the floor and say you are new to the area and thought they would be a good resource for finding an OB.
I also agree with the comment that if Kyrie is upset with this OB, wouldn't ahe at least want some say in choosing a new one?? Otherwise it seems this could be a monthly thing for you.

Waiting Amy said...

When I thought I'd be delivering in a new state where I knew no one, my RE recommended trying to get in touch with the charge nurse in the delivery room of the hospital and asking her for recommendations. That person sees all the good and bad. Of course, I'm not sure how you'd make contact with the charge nurse, but I know you are inventive :)

Otherwise, you could ask your primary doctor or some such where they would send their wife or sister.

Good luck.

Monica H said...

I can usually narrow it down by those who treat high-risk pregnancies that are in my area. Or those that will deliver at the hospital I choose. Then interview until you find one you like.

Good luck.

Which Box said...

Who's your gyn? Maybe you haven't chosen a new practice for yourself?

These are all good ideas. I think Kyrie's preferences for delivery would probably matter, too - is there anything special she wants (natural, epidural right away, ability to walk during labor, etc). And use those preferences to help guide.

Another option not yet mentioned is to start at the back end - if you've picked your pediatrician, maybe they'd have an OB recommendation that was in line with their philosophy.

firelass51 said...

Hi...normally a lurker here, but this actually came up in my Infant loss support group the other night again. After my loss, I couldn't bear the thought of going back to my Dr...my support group leader(and the girls in group) all had been to or knew many different doctors in the area and we sat around and discussed each ones/ or practice's pros and cons, which helped me choose a new one. Those are the opinions that I trust the most...anyway, good luck.
Theresa

christina(apronstrings) said...

i suck at choosing ob's. but i just want to wish you luck.

painted maypole said...

ack. i have always gone on recommendations, so I don't know. the things I wish I had thought to ask when i found the OB that delivered MQ was about hisopinions on non medicated births, rates of C-section, willingness to work with a doula, etc.

Anita said...

Do you have an angie's list? They list doctors. you'll have to join, but they have unbiased recommendations.

aslo, babycenter.com's bboards have local listings and often list doctors.

and, i know I'm not in your shoes, but it's not obvious to me why you can't ask a friend/colleague for an OB recommendation; you're thinking about switching. How is that inappropriate?

docgrumbles said...

I have no good advice sadly (my insurance gave me a choice of 2 - I hated the first, so I am now with the second), but I hope you manage to find a decent doc.

Tricia said...

Little late in the game but...

You do have the right to request not to have a particular doctor. As long as you are reasonable with not saying "I don't want all of them except one" and you give the reason, most places are willing to make an exception to that practice. I did this.