My mother is not the kind of parent who hands out unwanted (or, for that matter, wanted) advice. She's never told how to put on lipstick or to raise children.
When I'd ask her what she thought I should do, she'd ask me right back, Niobe, what does your heart say?. And I tried to listen, really I did, but but the only thing I ever heard was the sound of my mind, clicking through the options like a ball on a roulette wheel.*
Follow your heart, she'd say. And it took me a very long time to understand that my heart wasn't going anywhere at all.
Do you like giving advice? Getting advice? Have you ever gotten a piece of really good advice, but found you just couldn't follow it?
*Though, in the fierce light of hindsight, even without having actually read Dan Savage, it's blindingly obvious that the correct answer to practically every single one of my questions was DTMFA.