Friday, January 1, 2010

no interpretation necessary

corkscrewed
In my dream, I was standing in the checkout line at the supermarket, watching as the cashier loaded my purchases into eco-friendly reusable bags. I started towards the exit, when I realized there had been some dreadful mistake.

In my cart was a large and hideous monkfish, its teeth gleaming like pointy piano keys. Some wilted celery. A rutabaga. Five drippy containers of rapidly melting ice cream, all of them strawberry, my unfavorite flavor.

I turned around and explained the situation to the cashier, who gave me a full refund. Then I walked out of the store, a song in my heart and money in my pocket.

How much money? Why, $20.10.

Happy New Year to all of you! May it glow with light and love, and may your metaphorical grocery cart be filled to the brim with everything you could possibly want.

21 comments:

forwardtumble said...

and a happy new year to you, too.

ines

Tash said...

Aww shit, tell me that wine didn't cost you very much and they took that back, too. Blech.

I'm with you. Please add moldy berries, and stale coconut-filled chocolates to my cart, add me to your dream, and see if I get a refund.

Tash said...

ETA: Well here I thought your cork was wormed, but my husband thinks it's just the end of the corkscrew pointing out through the bottom and he's probably right. so nevermind about the wine, although I hope it helped wash away the bad food dream.

niobe said...

@tash: Well, it *is* just the end of the corkscrew, though I'm thinking that it probably resulted in tiny little cork bits in the wine. Not that I noticed.

Kristin said...

Happy New Year Niobe!

areyoukiddingme said...

Happy New Year!

I just dreamed that I was supposed to spend the night at my MIL's house, but I forgot to bring my contacts and had to go home. It was a good dream. :)

Azaera said...

Happy new year! Interesting dream.

excavator said...

Very happy new year to you and your family.

forwardtumble said...

I see a wee, little heart! emerging from the cork from within.

Ji said...

funny dream, monkfish, very killing name you got here,
have a new year's day giggling all through until next day..
Happy New Year.

http://www.jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com
just in case.

Sunny said...

I love it!

And a happy, blessed 2010 to you, as well.

calliope said...

happy new year to you, dear friend. I am SO glad to have gotten to know you better in Twenty Oh Nine. Twenty Ten is going to be great. (I think I am required to say that for a few more days, right? heh)

moplans said...

Happy New Year Niobe

k@lakly said...

"tiny little cork bits in the wine", the things we must endure to enjoy a beverage...hmph.

I actually like monkfish but have to admit that when I saw one for the first time, I was, to say the least, unprepared. And it now resides, quite comfortably, in my food categories of things I will eat but (1) do not need to see where they lived while doing so or (2) what they looked like while still, well, alive.
And to be fair, these rules apply equally to fruits and veggies as to meats. But I won't bore you with those details:)
Happy 2010!

Anonymous said...

I'm with k@lakly (I knew I liked her for a reason). I like monkfish. Somehow I had managed to make it this far in life without seeing what it looked like before the application of capers and bearnaise. You may have ruined it for me. *sigh*

Nope...still salivating.

-Shamela

Betty M said...

Happy New Year!

Bluebird said...

You always crack me up (even when I'm not sure you mean to!) Here's hoping for a fabulous 2010.

leanne said...

Happy New Year, Niobe!

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Elle said...

Happy New Year to you, Niobe!

Magpie said...

And a wonderful new year to you too.