Monday, February 4, 2008

do not get

The lovely and talented Artblog has tagged me for the meme where you list ten things that you just don't get. Here are mine:

I just don't get....

1. Out much

2. Trust: Everyone, under the right circumstances and given sufficient incentive, will betray their family, friends, and principles. A fact that makes my job a lot easier.

3. Mustard

4. Ketchup

5. Celebrities: I really couldn't care less if some model slash actress slash whatever is (a) fat; (b) anorectic; (c) on the island; (d) off the island; (e) pregnant; (f) a member of a satanic cult; (g) starring in homemade internet sex videos; (h) doing crack; (i) doing time; (j) doing someone else's boyfriend. And I can't understand why anyone else cares either.

6. Babar

7. The Rolling Stones

8. No satisfaction

9. Mark 4:25: For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath.

10. Why my (unattached, childless (childfree?), 31-year-old) sister has never had an actual job in her life

If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged. I'd love to see what everyone else comes up with.


thirtysomething said...

AMEN on #5! A puzzling situation when CNN leads their broadcast with news of Britney Spears' latest f*ck up....I mean,come on, seriously?
I might do this meme. It looks like fun.

Tash said...

Mine might take up the better part of two weeks. Just what happens when a cynic takes hold of the meme. Starting with the Dave Matthews Band.

Lori Lavender Luz said...

Cracking up about #7 and 8.

Julie Pippert said...

Interesting list!

#5---I get it. Because it makes you feel better about yourself (if you are someone other than say you, or me). Either (a) you are doing it too so that makes you just as good (or bad) as Celebrity So and So, or (b) you aren't doing it too so that makes you better than Celebrity So and so.

#9---Agreed. And there lies the crux of some of the biggest issues.

Katie said...

I'll do it! Already coming up with lots of ideas, unfortunately most are related to teaching!

Bon said...

feeling quite disturbed by the whole #9 quote from Mark, and wondering if "hath" is a reference to faith or something, or just a general state of plenty and zen. either way, i suspect i'm up for some repossession. shitty.

i'm curious, too. what does your sister do, then, for money? starving artist? heiress? professional girlfriend?

S said...

must agree, especially about numbers 1, 6, 7, and 8.

darlin', this was your kind of meme.

niobe said...

Bon: My sister mostly mooches off my parents and my stepbrother. She's very nice and very smart, but very, very lazy.

Anonymous said...

finally. someone else that is baffled over Babar.


EmmaL said...

I totally agree with you on #2 - absolutely. I happen to find your distate for condiments interesting. I love ketchup. Love it. The only reason to eat french fries, is because they serve as a delivery tool for the ketchup, since, you know, you can't just eat plain ketchup, or can you?

Anonymous said...

#2 makes me very sad. I may trust too much, but it feels better than not trusting at all.

Now, #5? Right there with ya, babe.

Amelie said...

That's a nice meme. So often I think of things I don't get, and whether it would be too weird to blog about them. Right now, though, the only thing that comes to my mind are oddities of Spanish grammar.

jo(e) said...

I don't get the celebrity thing either. It's so crazy.

Awake said...

Giving up the celebrity thing was my New Year's resolution. Its easier to think their lives are important when your own life needs attention. You've got your head in the right place.

But no ketchup? Now that's another story.

c. said...

OH, I totally get the not getting Babar thing!!!

ewe are here said...

No 2 makes me sad.

Maggie said...

This is a totally fantastic list! Not to mention a great idea. I totally want to play I just have to come up with a list!

Unknown said...

I know, I know, Babar is so disturbing.

Anonymous said...

I think # 4 is my very favourite thing about you.

meg said...

Oh I am so going to do this one. I don't get lots and lots of things.

Though I have to say...I am a "keep it in the vault kind of girl", so no one could crack me for #2 on your list. No incentive would work.

Just in case you ever, you know, have a dead body in the'll know who to call.

Magpie said...

Yes. Especially #5. And perhaps all of the bible.

Anonymous said...

My List:

1. The self-righteous hippie types who swear off Wal-Mart and stick their noses up at anyone who shops at chain stores. a) Do they really think that boycotting Wal-Mart is going to hurt the higher-ups? If cuts are made because the company is losing business, it's the folks who can least afford it who will feel the pinch. b) Doesn't it occur to them that yeah, everybody would rather shop at Whole Foods if given the choice, but the people who shop at Wal-Mart shop there because that's what they can afford? c) If they're so anti-consumerism, wtf are they all typing on, anyway?

2. Polyamory. Not our thing, not at all, not even close.

3. Brides. I've been engaged forever (he's in a school so we're waiting). I can't wait to marry him, but I can do without two hundred of our supposed nearest and dearest staring at me for eight hours. We'll probably do something anyway so as not to Disappoint Mommy (who is actually really chill about things, which makes me *want* to do something. If she were controlling about it we'd run off to Vegas).

4. Racism. "I'm better than you because my skin is a different color." Yeah, *that* makes total sense. *snort*

5. Bananas. They feel so creepy in your mouth!

6. My future mother-in-law. She is abusive, crazy and mean. He hasn't talked to you in two and a half years for a reason, lady. Get the hint, stop e-mailing and leaving histrionic voice mails, and stop buzzing the neighborhood (which is over three hours from where you live). Stop using your personal tragedy (which was terrible, but which was over 25 years ago) to control, manipulate and guilt your living, healthy children. If you hadn't beat the shit out of him when he was little (plus a million other things in the years since) maybe he'd still talk to you. Oh, and it isn't my fault that he hates you. You did that entirely on your own. Bitch.

7. I agree about the celebrity thing. Snooooore.

8. Homophobes. I suppose they're entitled to their opinion, but don't bring that crap near me.

9. Modern Art. I usually inadvertently hang things upside down. Whoops.

10. Camping. 'Cause nothing sounds more fun than sleeping on the ground and pooping in a hole.

Angela said...

#5: AGREED!!

But I get the Rolling Stones. I really, really get the Stones.

Christine said...

i don't get puffy winter vest. where the hell are the damn sleeves?

Running on empty

Anonymous said...

1. Starbucks
2. Current Pres. and administration
3. Credit cards
4. Hunting
5. American Idol
6. Donald Trump
7. Downloading music or movies illegally
8. Child labor
9. Golf
10. Paris Hilton
(11.) And sometimes you dear Niobe :)!

Emily said...

ditto the Rolling Stones.

niobe said...

Allypally: But (as my grandmother used to say after going through a long catalog of someone's faults) that's part of my charm, right? ;)

Anonymous said...

But ofcourse, darling!;) Is "ofcourse" one word?

Anonymous said...

I recently learned that what you did with a couple of those is called "syllepsis." Here's a link (well, okay, I can't do the html but here's the address) which explains it better than I can:

niobe said...

Anonymous: Thanks for the link!

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

Just a few:

2. Sushi. Yuck.
3. Spending the amount of money that I do on my hair. I don't know why I do it but I do. I always ask myself "do I really look $100 better than before I went in?"
4. Reality shows.

beagle said...

Now THIS is a great meme!

Am I doing okay? said...

Not as good as yours, but mine is here:

Anonymous said...

1. the interest in watching others play sports

2. making something look like something else, like plastic that tries to look like wood

ok. that pretty much covers it.