Friday, May 4, 2007

proof by rearrangement

There were 1600 people at the dinner. No prizes, though, for guessing the two I all but collided with as soon as I walked though the lobby's revolving doors.

The comments on my last post made perfect sense. I have every right in the world to be angry at Steve and Sarah, to hate them, even. But I can't quite manage it and what I feel is sad and empty, as if when I lost them, a chasm opened at the core of my life, an emptiness that nothing will ever heal or fill.

Back in the days when the pain was new, I obsessively read the sonnet sequence in which Shakespeare spins betrayal into iambic pentameter, with poem after poem describing the two people he loves most, the fair man and the dark lady, and how they find something like happiness in one another's arms. But, over time, I've come to realize that the better analogy is geometry, and it seems petty as well as pointless to complain that every right triangle tends to have a hypotenuse.

11 comments:

S said...

Oh, hon. I'm sorry.

BTW, I did a serious double-take when reading this. Because shh, don't tell, but the hubs and I? Are a Steve and Sarah.

S said...

I mean literally. Those are our names. I don't mean that we are people who would do what YOUR Steve and Sarah did to you.

We aren't.

niobe said...

slouching mom How funny. Though I guess that Steve and Sarah are fairly common names. And it does make me wonder why exactly I'm going through the trouble of coming up with pseudonyms for them. Because, frankly, what do I care if they (or anyone who knows them) happen to read this?

Phantom Scribbler said...

I'm so sorry, niobe.

That Mommy said...

(o)

Ruby said...

I'm sorry.

Wish I knew what to say or do to help.

jo(e) said...

Just remember: happiness is the best revenge.

Really.

Anonymous said...

You've lost me somewhere along the post, bit thick me sometimes, but he's still a shit!

Caro said...

Isn't that just typical!
hugs

Suz said...

"For I have sworn thee fair and thought thee bright,/ Who art as black as hell, as dark as night."

-Suz

niobe said...

Artblog I know I'm just not expressing myself all that clearly here. I just so want to put the whole horrible episode behind me.

Suz ::touching nose with finger:: That's it exactly.