Wednesday, September 19, 2007

here we go again (and not in a good way)

The phone rings and I pick it up. It's the agency, which means it's bad news. A background check on the potential surrogate (which, of course, should have been done before they even sent the profile to us) has picked up a .... problem. I'm reluctant to be more specific, because I don't want to be unfair to her, but let's just say that, for us, anyway, it completely rules her out as a carrier. I'm not even sure what to think anymore.

53 comments:

Casey said...

I'm sorry, Niobe.

Matthew M. F. Miller said...

That's so terrible - I'm so sorry. You're in my thoughts.

Beruriah said...

Damnit. I'm sorry Niobe. This sucks.

ALM said...

Gosh. I'm sorry. THat so sucks.

painted maypole said...

they did not run the background check first?!? ARG!!!

I am so sorry to hear that.

Monica said...

Crap! I'm sorry. I hope they get it together so next time you aren't a roller coaster of emotions.

Phantom Scribbler said...

Damn. I'm really sorry, Niobe. I wish there was something to say besides that.

Kathy McC said...

Damnit. I am sorry Niobe...I don't even know what to say. ((hugs))

DD said...

Wha...? Why?!

Is this something she intentionally withheld or is it something the clinic restricts? Oh, man...

Yes. That sucks.

jo(e) said...

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Aurelia said...

Damn!

Ask the agency to do the full check first...i have to say that considering you are paying them so much freakin' money this really is unfair of them.

And Niobe, I think from now, you should not let the surrogate know about your blog until you have settled on everything and signed a contract. Just because it would be nice if you got the chance to say what you really think and feel on your own blog hon. Just my opinion...

Eva said...

That really sucks. I guess your policy of not telling people about things is a good one. I second Aurelia's opinion, too. I'm really, really sorry. This is no good at all. You deserve bluebells and roses every step of the way and you certainly aren't getting them!

slouching mom said...

Oh, sh*t. I'm so sorry.

niobe said...

The deal is that we're not supposed to even see any profiles until the agency has run a full background check on them. Obviously, the agency screwed up on this one. They couldn't have caught this particular issue without doing a background check.

Aurelia, Eva: It's very difficult. Though we hadn't signed a formal contract, that was basically a technicality. Everyone had agreed that we were going forward and her medical records had been given to the clinic. Anyway, I don't think my posts are any different because I told her about the blog. But, of course, I could be wrong.

My Reality said...

I am sorry, Niobe.

Julie said...

Ouch. I'm really sorry. That feeling of being back at square one, or even square minus-one...

Awful.

missedconceptions said...

I feel like I need a tattoo/t-shirt/wall-hanging that says "Here we go again. And again. And again..." If I make one, I will send you one, too.

I am so very sorry this fell through.

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

freakin A! so awful. and you're right you check backgrounds first. sheesh. well, hopefully, its a mistake.
i'm sorry.

thirtysomething said...

Damn. Just, DAMN. I am so sorry Niobe.

Angel Mom said...

I'm so sorry.

Sarah said...

oh crap, that sucks big time. i can see why it would severely harm your faith in the process. just what you need, eh?

Anonymous said...

fuck

Grad3 said...

Damn it.

LAS said...

I'm just so sorry - I don't know what to say. I am both sad and angry for you.

Julia said...

Oh, shit! I am sorry...

Road Blocks and Rollercoasters said...

I am so sorry. I know what its like to be back at square one and it sucks! I'm just about to be there myself. I'll be thinking of you!

Magpie said...

I am so sorry. Damn.

Elizabeth said...

Oh no!!!! What awful disappointment and frustration.

Ruby said...

Niobe, I'm sorry. I hope that the agency dropping the ball is an exception and not the rule.

FattyPants said...

That is really shitty. I'm sorry the agency did this to you.

Manda said...

I'm so sorry. This sucks.

Caro said...

Shit, I'm so sorry.

bart said...

So sorry. How frustrating!

frumiousb said...

That wasn't Bart, that was me. Sorry-- joint use computer.

Rachel said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry. That's horrible.

Bon said...

Niobe, i'm sorry. the disappointment and sense of doomishness have to be awful.

stat763 said...

Niobe, I'm sorry. Why is everything so hard??

Amelie said...

I'm so sorry, Niobe. Is switching the agency an option?

LawMommy said...

Why the hell didn't the agency run a background check before they let you get your hopes up?? That totally sucks. I'm sorry.

G

Anonymous said...

g-d dammit!

furrow said...

Oh, niobe. That's unbelievably disappointing. I'm so, so sorry.

Christine said...

damn it. what a blow.

so sorry.

Rosepetal said...

Dammit. I'm sorry Niobe. The agency has really let you down by not doing the check first.

meg said...

I'm sorry, Niobe. That agency should be doing a better job. You have been through far too much to have to deal with disappointment due to their screw ups. Disappointment due to some act of God is one thing, but when it's their fault...it's too much.

Maddie's Mom said...

Dammit. I'm sorry Niobe.

SaraS-P said...

That is just unecessarily frustrating! I am sorry!

wannabe mom said...

i'm so sorry. i am crossing my fingers for "the one."

cinnamon gurl said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry!

S. said...

Ah, shit. I'm sorry I've been out of circulation, so I couldn't be the first one to say it. I guess I'll have to make up for it by saying it often: shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

I am sorry.

AJW5403 said...

That just sucks!! I am so sorry.

megan said...

disappointing is such a meager word for what happened. i'm so sorry.

Jitters said...

Crap. Sorry. I wish there was something to say that actually could make you feel better, but I am just not that good with words.

Artblog said...

SUcks, big time, so so so sorry :( XXXXXXX