being here
As it turned out, for reasons difficult to sum up neatly in a blog entry, instead of staring out the window of a southbound train, I spent the day at one of the local not-Starbucks, contemplating the swirls of foam on a succession of lattes.
A while back (okay, a long while back), Slouching Mom tagged me for the what-gets-you-through-the-day meme, the one where you describe, explain, illustrate, what, uh, gets you through the day. From the pictures above, you can see pretty clearly what my answer is. But it's not just the caffeine. It's also the ritual of hanging out at a coffeehouse, the comfort of having a familiar public space where you can talk, scroll through blogs, scrounge sections of dead-tree newspapers, listen to other people's conversations, and marvel how phrases and ideas seem to jump from from table to table, shifting shape as they go.
It's the archtypical "third place" (which I think was even Starbucks' slogan for a while). It's not home and it's not work -- it's where you tend to end up when you're not at either of those places. Of course, given the sheer density of coffeeshops in this neighborhood, for me, it's more like the third through tenth place. There's the coffeeshop I stop at on my way to work, the one that has chairs encircling a glass fireplace, the one with the outdoor patio, the two with free wifi, the one with the best iced lattes, the one that's so narrow that the tables form a single file, and the one I go to when I don't want to run into anyone I know.
What's your third place?
Oh, and check out The Starbucks Gossip Blog, whose slogan is: monitoring America's favorite drug dealer and which at this very moment has an open thread where you can ask baristas those troubling questions like whether peppermint syrup is available all year round and exactly what you'll get if you order a skinny latte.
31 comments:
The beach or the woods.
I am living kind of a hermit like life at the moment, so those seem to fit.
If I decide to join society again...then it probably would be my local coffee shop too. The one that makes the fantastic Americanos and doesn't have an actual sign out front.
I'm not sure I really have one right now, but when we move to our next spot, we will be making one! But that is 18 months away, in the meantime, Starbucks will have to do.
oh god...i have no third place. i believe i am experiencing social anxiety at the moment.
am i being ridiculous if i actually point out there's a tiny heart in that foam? the photography around this here deadbabyland is just too good.
charmedgirl: You are absolutely right about the little heart. Now that you've pointed it out, I can't believe I didn't see it before.
Okay...that heart thing just freaked me out. VERY cool!
I don't have a third place either. I think, maybe, it used to be the mall...but that seems so shallow and superficial now. Will have to work on finding my third place post-dead baby, I guess.
i think it's psychotic that the only other place that even entered my mind is/was the hospital, after i delivered. SICK. but at least there, i was nothing more than a dead baby mom.
after i got out of there, i can't go anywhere without anxiety...what else do i need to pretend to be? can i pull it off?
re: the heart in the foam...HA! i thought i was being lame and it was totally obvious...
I wonder if the heart in the foam is anything like having your tea leaves read?
My third place is my kitchen, I know it is technically one of the first two, but it is different than the rest of the house. It is tiny, but it is where I am most at peace with myself.
i don't really have a third place. the closest I come is the church, but technically I DO work there, since the preschool is attached, and my husband DOES work there... I don't have a hangout. The theatre, i supppose, but that's kind of work since I'm sort of getting paid for that (depends on the show whether the pay is worth mentioning or not, but there is usually a check of some sort involved)
I guess I don't have a third place actually. If I did - it would just be a meeting, but that's boring. I want one, a third place, now that you mention it.
*my sewing room.* it has windows. ton of windows that look out onto the front yard and neighborhood. so, i feel like i am part of the world. though, the best part is, no one can see me.
everyone needs a third place. my sewing room saved me this past year.
glad you gotta a little (or a lotta) latte love. xoxoxo
I think I haven't a third place. Perhaps I need one. Or perhaps it's "here".
Oh, Wow. Chairs encircling a glass fireplace? Sounds warm and comforting--the perfect third place.
It is funny, I was just talking with a friend wondering whether peppermint syrup is available year-round at S.
Currently I have no third place.
However, a few years ago, when I lived elsewhere, I craved some place in our home that was mine only. So, I gutted the second closet in our room, the larger of the two, and assembled a book shelf, threw some oversized floor pillows in there, and a crate for a table. I even had some pictures on the walls and a candle. I had my favorite books, a nice cloth on the table and best of all it was my space entirely. After my son (this was when I had only one child) was sleeping I would retreat to my space and read my favorite books, write letters, or just sit with my own thoughts. It truly changed the way I felt and faced each day, to just know that I had my own "third place"...
although, technically that doesn't fall into your definition of being a place away from home.
I'm not sure I have one. Maybe the gym? I like being at home, really. Plus, where I live isn't really nice enough to have coffee houses to sit in
I just love this post. Coffee houses are my third place. Any non-starbucks one preferably. I like getting a real cup when I order a latte. And your right, they seem to be slowed down. People come in to relax, read, sketch, etc. People come in to starbucks to feed their habit and to "decompress", so yes, the mood is definitely different. But I can't judge, I have a growing starbucks habit too.
I don't have a third place. How sad is that? And I work from home, so I don't have a second place. That might explain some things...
By my cravings...any book place.
Probably the library for me. But overall, I'm a bit of a hermit. Poo, I can't see the heart!?!
Thanks so much for your comment.
Ahhh, okay now I see the heart. YAY!
I don't have one. But if I when I was younger and single there was a cool english pub down the street that had all kinds of board games, a dart board, and Newcastle on tap. That would've been my third place back then.
Back in the States it was any bookstore, most often Barnes & Noble when there was one close by, but the small, family-owned ones are very fun too.
Here, though...since I don't read German, bookstores aren't as appealing..
Down by the river you will find me sat on my favourite bench with a take-out coffee watching the world go by. Rain, shine, snow or whatever that's my third place.
I didn't even know it was called "third place", but it sort of makes sense. Mine certainly is a coffee shop, too (though I usually only have one coffee per day), and since you're allowed to smoke in virtually all of them except Starbucks, and it makes me sick, I go there. On weekends -- I'm still a grad student. On weekdays I enjoy my break in our cafeteria, where the cafe con leche costs a fraction of a grande latte...
On second thought - cause of course I've been thinking about it - my third place is definitely an AA meeting. I don't why, but when I first thought that, and it's very obviously my third place, I felt bad about it for some reason. Not sure why. But what is there to feel bad about? I love AA meetings!
this is totally my third place, the blogosphere, this online world of connection and interaction where i actually expose a lot more of myself - and give more, too - than i do in my real life with anyone but my partner and child.
but it used to be a bar, and before that a coffee shop, and before that, another bar...and i loved that life, for years. and still miss it, a bit. my lungs and liver, they probably rejoice. the blogosphere is almost healthy.
Oh god. I think my third place is my therapist's office. Maybe I should take his advice and get out of the house more often.
Usually, it's the local pub, where we spend all of Sunday afternoon drinking beer, eating greasy fry-ups and reading the Times at scarred tables.
At the moment, it's a 1930s vintage second-run movie house down the street, where six bucks buys you a double feature in the flickering dark.
oooh. the lattes look delish and you describe your third place so appealingly that I want to drop by...but given that we're on opposite coasts, the distance presents a problem. Soooo, I clearly need to find my own third place. It's now on the list of things to do...
It's that scene you describe that convinced me that I have to fastrack my career change so that I can spend more time in coffee shops midday with the artists, the writers, the graveyard-shifters...I will spend much more time that way, myself, when I am on call than I do working 9 to 5. Clearly, my third place is much the same as yours.
i knew you were a woman after my own heart. coffeehouses, yes. bookstores too. the smell of new books is as intoxicating as alcohol, to me.
thanks for playing along. gorgeous photos, as always.
and bon? i'm not sure the blogosphere is all that healthy, LOL!
I would like to say my bike, but I'm not on it as much as I would like.
It would have to be the blogosphere.
My third place used to be the day spa. I was always there several times a month to take a break from family obligations and my job when both got to be overwhelming. Afterwards, I felt refreshed and ready to resume responsibilities with more enthusiasm.
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