Friday, June 5, 2009

cards on the table

forked
As promised, it's time for the big reveal. Leave your (strictly anonymous) confessions in the comments. If there are enough comments, I'll add two or three of my own carefully-guarded-until-this-very-moment secrets. See if you can guess which ones they are.

For inspiration, check out the last edition of Lots of Secret Stuff Revealed. But remember, your confession can be small -- even tiny -- as well as large. I mean, what about that bubblegum pink nail polish you, um, abstracted from the drugstore when you were eight? Inquiring minds want to know everything.*



*Except, of course, your name. Please, please, don't forget to choose the anonymous option when you comment. Just saying.

158 comments:

Anonymous said...

This weekend, I am meeting up with a man I met online to have lots of dirty kinky sex in a hotel room.

I CANT WAIT!

Anonymous said...

I have a crush on a really good friend, but he has a girlfriend. She doesnt want kids, but I do, and I think he should be with me instead. I just dont know how to make him realise this.

Anonymous said...

I think most peoples' parenting sucks. They are so obseessed with their kids and don't let them do anything without smothering them. Those kids are never going to grow up and be able to function by themselves because the parents are so in their faces and micromanaging their lives. They think their doing a great job but they should just BACK OFF.

Anonymous said...

I ruined three lives. Did not care til I found out that one of them was mine.

Anonymous said...

I want to inherit lots of money from my parents (when they die). I hate the thought of them including too many other beneficiaries even though (or maybe because) they have mentioned leaving everything to charity. Normally I am a charitable person but in this case I want my kids and I taken care of and have security for life. and I can't believe with such a serious matter my parents don't have my and my kids best interests at heart.

Anonymous said...

My sister and my younger daughter share the same birthday (30-some years apart). My sister is mentally ill and has tried to commit suicide several times -- she's been struggling for 20 years with her illnesses (depression and BPD). I am afraid that my daughter is going to be like her. And that somehow it's going to be my fault.

Anonymous said...

I love my kids but they totally overwhelm me. sometimes when they cry I just lose it and yell at them.

Anonymous said...

I really don't like my son. He is cruel, mean, spiteful and belittling. He learned all these things from my exhusband. I love my son, but I don't like him.

Anonymous said...

These confessions totally depress me, sometimes they infuriate me; sometimes they make me feel superior. But i can't stop reading them.

Anonymous said...

My husband is an alcoholic who refuses to get help. At least once a week he ends up falling down drunk. I dont' trust him with the kids. I want to leave him, but I don't know where I'd go.

Anonymous said...

When I was in college, I used to eat at a China Buffett and leave without paying.

Anonymous said...

I don't care about the environment. I hate recycling. I know global warming is real, but I don't care. I like my car.

And I think Al Gore is an idiot.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I pee in the sink because our toilet flush sounds like a rocket ship launching, I don't want to wake up the kids, and my husband is a baby about finding pee in the toilet.

Anonymous said...

I think I have swine flu. Though I should be home resting I'm making sure I'm out and about all day because I'm hoping to pass it on to people I hate.

Anonymous said...

I love my husband and identify comfortably as heterosexual, but there are some women I could see myself being attracted to. In grad school, I almost asked one woman out, but chickened out for fear she would say yes.

Anonymous said...

My husband has a few crazy bitches in his past and, as a result, was hesitant to commit for a while. I knew we were going to be together and I knew we would eventually have a family. So, I stopped taking my birth control. The first month I didn't feel bad about it. By 2/3 of the way through the second month, I felt guilty as hell and was bargaining with God to please let me make it through without getting pregnant and I would start back on my birth control pills. It didn't happen. I was pregnant. Because of what I did, I was prepared to go along with whatever my husband thought was best but I honestly thought he would marry me and we would have a kid. I had an abortion instead. We didn't marry until more than a year later. He still thinks that first baby was conceived while I was faithfully taking the pill. Sometimes I want to tell him but I'm scared about what he would think and, also, why would I want to make him feel bad too.

Anonymous said...

I slept with a professor. Oh, it was after graduation, but there was almost no question that it was going to happen sooner or later. And it continued, on and off, for a few years - every time he'd come to my city. He was a terrific lover, inventive and hot, though he had a tiny penis.

Later I discovered I had genital warts.

Anonymous said...

I find these compulsive reading. But I was worried the first post disgorged all the dysfunction and there'd be nothing good left for this time around. (Who can cheat, lie, steal enough in just one month?)

So far, though, I can tell I'll be compulsively checking for updates all weekend long.

Anonymous said...

I fantasize about my house burning down. I should clarify that I rent. And I should also clarify that I wouldn't want anyone or any animal to be IN the house. I am just so damn sick of living here, in this state, with other people's problems on my back. I want to start over so badly but I have no idea how.

Anonymous said...

Awhile ago I told my husband that I was going to be travelling alot for work because we had a big project in California. I complained alot about all the "business trips" and how I had to stay over on weekends. He was impressed how dedicated I was to my work and had no clue that really I was having a hot affair with a married man.

Anonymous said...

My father is 65 and has the early form of some sort of dementia for which he refuses to seek diagnosis or treatment. I am a health care professional and known the symptoms. He has purchased the house next door to me in order to retire here and I know his plan is that I will take care of him when he becomes too debilitated to take care of himself. My father has always been a demanding, unpleasant person and I dread the thought of being his full time caregiver. What he does not realize is that my own health and family comes first, and he will have to go into a care facility if he cannot be cared for at home with help.

Anonymous said...

I met my now husband in a chatroom online. What he doesn't know is that at the time I was engaged to someone else. Got a plane, met DH IRL, went back home, dumped the fiancee and never looked back. DH thinks we broke up a year before he & I met.

Anonymous said...

I feel angry at my husband for smoking too much weed. I blame him for our child's autism. He told me he quit when we were TTC, but he didn't. He lied, I am angry & now I have to deal with a child who has autism. I want more children, but will not have more cause of his problem. I also blame him for our loss & all the trouble we had TTC due to mary jane.

Anonymous said...

I was molested by my babysitter when I was 9 or 10. I have never told anyone. It is starting to tear me apart. Its been 20 some years ago. I want to tell my husband and other family members but am scared to let my secret out. They will demand to know who it was. It was a family friend. I never see him, he lives in a different city, but I know he has a family of his own now and I am scared he may be doing the same thing to his own children.

Anonymous said...

Lately my son is driving me so crazy that I'm scared of summer vacation.

Anonymous said...

I set my Dad up with email account 8 years ago. He's never changed the password. I've been signing in and am both appalled and disturbed because all he uses it for is match.com.

Anonymous said...

A couple years ago my husband bought me a pair of hiking sandals. He still gets happy whenever I wear them and I don't have the heart to tell him that the one on my right foot always causes a blister.

Anonymous said...

My husband likes to talk during sex. He thinks he sounds all hot and sexy but actually he sounds like dialogue from a bad 70s porn movie or possibly a letter to Penthouse Forum.

Our sex life would be awesome except for the constant, neverending chatter. Sometimes I have to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing out loud.

Anonymous said...

I really wish I could afford to be a stay-at-home mom.

Anonymous said...

I have worked hard and have almost everything I have ever wanted. And now I'm afraid it isn't what I really wanted at all.

Anonymous said...

Back in high school, a girl died in a tragic car accident. I felt closer to her when she was dead than I did when she was alive, and I pretended we were better friends than we were. Really, we were mere acquaintances, but I mourned her like a sister.

Anonymous said...

First of all, thanks Niobe for creating this thread. I feel a lot less alone.

My biggest secret right now is that I am second guessing my whole life. I am not sure I still love my husband. My kids, who I desperately wanted (and do love), drive me crazy. I am a bored SAHM but I don't know what I want to do with my life. Sometimes I wish I could just pick up and move out. I am not even sure I'd fight for custody...(all of this makes me very ashamed.)

Anonymous said...

I worry too much about too many things. Not unimportant things, but my worrying won't change whether they happen or not, and I waste so much time... on a particularly bad day, I'll cry about it at night and wake my partner, thereby ruining his night and subsequent day. But then I'm relieved, I can sleep. It makes me feel selfish.

Anonymous said...

My relationship with my husband is horrible and I've given up trying to improve it. When other people talk about how great they're husbands are and how much they love them, I just want to die.

Anonymous said...

To the June 5, 2009 11:31 AM commenter, my dad didn't buy the house next door but he did count on me taking care of him despite being in circumstances similar to those you describe.

He's now in a nursing home with dementia and largely immobile from that and related problems, and while I do still do much more for him than he deserves (visit multiple times per week), I don't feel bad that I'm not doing more than I am. You shouldn't either, should it come to that.

It's difficult or impossible, though, to communicate to the nursing home staff that actually? I really don't give a damn.

Anonymous said...

I worry that I'm not smart enough for my job. I can't seem to remember important things. I feel really stupid around all these smart people.

I really dislike the choices my SIL is making. I asked her to go in on a mothers day gift for our MIL. "Can't afford it" ($35). Then on FB I see she's getting a new bedroom set and going shopping at Buckle for some brand name jeans. What an asshole.

Anonymous said...

While I was making my ex-boyfriend's gin and tonic, I spit right into it, and stirred it up. We were having a conversation in the other room about why he couldn't commit to me.

Anonymous said...

I was a traditional surrogate for a gay couple. I found out last month that one of the men has been arrested for voyeurism and will probably charged as a pedophile. Even if I didn't do anything wrong, I feel ashamed and didn't tell any of my families and friends

Anonymous said...

Anon at June 5, 2009 10:50 AM
I feel the same way. But I don't rent.

Here is my secret:
I watch porn. I like to watch. But I don't like the soft core cover-my-pussy-so-you-can't-really-tell-we're-not-fucking kind. I want to see cock undulating repeatedly in and out of a hot and horny pussy.

Also... I want the link to the blogs of gay porn that people mentioned in the last "confession". Cough it up ladies... don't be shy. You right this shit... so SHARE IT!!! I can't wait!!

Anonymous said...

Obama is the anti-Christ.
I hate him.
My husband has been out of a job since THANKSGIVING! And I blame it on him being elected.

He gave everyone on disability an extra $250 PER MONTH! These people didn't even work!! I have three jobs (1 corporate, 1 personal business, 1 direct sales). Yet my husband can't even get a job at the local Mega-Super-Discount-Store. And he's giving the disabled MORE money?!?!?! MY CHILD IS ON THE VERGE OF STARVING!!

I hate him.

HateHateHateHateHateHate HATE HIM!

Anonymous said...

I'm considering going on disability for my health problems, but I'm so ashamed about not being able to handle my job that I keep showing up to work, knowing that I'm putting people at risk with my incompetence.

Anonymous said...

My husband used to rape me. Six months ago, I told him I wouldn't put up with it anymore. We haven't had sex since.

Anonymous said...

Reading these is both shocking and cathartic.

I don't think I love my husband very much, and I can't remember the last time we had sex.

Anonymous said...

I love my husband, but more like a friend. I too can't remember the last time we had sex & I don't care.

Anonymous said...

@Anon at 1:59 pm: I feel you, sister. I could have written what you wrote.

Anonymous said...

I try very hard to be a peaceful, non-violent person, but I like to write a murder mystery novel in my head, set in my workplace where all the coworkers who bug me get knocked off in really horrible ways, by me.

Anonymous said...

My mother loves my kids more than she loves me.

I wish she loved me.

Anonymous said...

if i were to confess my true deepest darkest secret, it would be so terrible (and so illegal) that i'm terrified that niobe would feel obligated to look up who wrote it and report me.

so my lips remain sealed.

Anonymous said...

my parents were one of those people who received $250 from obama. my mom has stage iv breast cancer and my dad advanced parkinsons. i'd do anything so they wouldn't have to be on disability.

Anonymous said...

i desperately despise people like June 5, 2009 3:07 PM who don't take responsibility for their own lives, and blame disabled people, or people suffering, or weaker people, for the hell of their own creation. my father is on disability because he has a neurological disorder, and 250 dollars doesn't do shit to make his life any less of a living nightmare every minute of the day. it just helps to not make me pay for part of his medication.

i wish i were more compassionate to people who were so selfish and hateful.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid I'll never be happy.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking about inducing lactation to enhance my sex life. I don't have kids and don't ever plan on having any, but every single day I think about breastfeeding a lover.

I have never said this out loud.

Anonymous said...

I am not a liberal.

Anonymous said...

My mother recently told me that my true biological father was not the person I've always thought was my "dad", but a guy she had a fling with they were both students. She told me his name and I know where he went to college. Now I'm trying to decide if I should establish contact. How hard could it be? He probably has a facebook page.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 11:48 AM: You're not alone.

Anonymous said...

He thinks its me

I KNOW its him

Anonymous said...

"I'm thinking about inducing lactation to enhance my sex life. I don't have kids and don't ever plan on having any, but every single day I think about breastfeeding a lover.

I have never said this out loud.

June 5, 2009 8:19 PM"


ME TOO. Though I do want to have kids one day. I have a serious breastfeeding fetish to the point that I've made a past lover pretend to be breastfeeding from my nipples.

Anonymous said...

i like to have sex with another female.

Anonymous said...

Sarah Palin makes me want to kill her. (Not literally but if I met her in real life I don't think I could stop myself from screaming my head off and telling her to get her undereducated, embarrassing ass back to Wasilla.)

Anonymous said...

The way my spouse eats disgusts me. USE YOUR NAPKIN, YOU SLOB!

Anonymous said...

I blow my nose in my shirt sometimes ;)

wheelsonthebus said...

I put mine up on my blog because I wanted to be held accountable for it. Thank you for inspiring me to work on this. I am not posting anonymously in case any of you want to see my darkest secret right now (sorry, it doesn't involve sex or violence).

Anonymous said...

"i like to have sex with another female." I've had sex with another female. It's fun. You should try it.

Anonymous said...

To the person who commented at 3:07 pm:

There are people who abuse disability, but the majority of the people are genuinely unable to work, which is the most embarrassing and painful thing in the world to know about yourself. I have a progressive illness, and am slowly losing more and more function. Knowing that I can't do all of the things I planned on and contribute in the way in which I hoped is truly devastating, and I would rather work two minimum wage jobs and barely get by than receive disability payments. I wish I had that option. You have no idea what it is like to be trapped in a failing body and rely on other people (whether it's family members or the government) for help, and you need to take responsibility for your own life and stop blaming people who haven't been blessed with what you have for your own problems.

You want this life? You can have it. 24-hour-a-day IV infusions, $40,000 a year of medical bills, life-threatening staph infections, 15 meds a day, non-functioning GI system, wheelchair, surgeries, frequent hospitalizations, early death, and all. Enjoy, and see if that $250 a month makes up for ANY of it.

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear!
I spit my secret on the first try, and, really, I don't have anything else dark enough to put here. But, how much unhappiness can this wolrd contain?

Anonymous said...

You do actually have to work to get disability. It's not an easy thing to get approved for, and as always, those that find a way to cheat... I have no idea how they do it! I'm kinda wondering about this extra $250 a month because my Mom is on disability and she ain't seeing that money! It took her a long time to get approved for disability and it kills her to not be able to work. She worked 4 jobs at one time to support my sisters and I. She was not lazy. She simply became too sick to work. I am tired of frustrated people thinking that if you use WHAT YOU PAY FOR you are a waste of a human being.

Anonymous said...

I think the person who made the initial comment about the extra disability money has a valid point... She seems to be doing everything she can to support her family, yet she didn't get a rebate; whereas everyone on disability received a rebate even if they haven't worked in years to contribute taxes to pay for the additional benefit they received. (If you are on disability, and you haven't gotten your rebate yet, inquire with your local office. You should have gotten it.)

She never said anyone was a waste of a human being. But you have to admit, it's disheartening to learn someone who may or may not have worked in the very recent to the very distant past is getting a rebate when you or your spouse (or both) is/are unemployed and are struggling to make ends meet; $250 could pay for: daycare, diapers, formula, gas to get to work to pay for the aforementioned items, power bill, a car payment, etc.

These comments are supposed to be confessions, not necessarily opinion bashing opportunities. Try to be kind when others appear ignorant. You will be the bigger person.

I confess I have a deep desire to be obscenely wealthy, powerful, and influential; but, I am scared. So, I stay at my secretarial job.

Anonymous said...

At every wishing moment (blowing out candles, blowing on an eye lash, tossing pennies in a pond) I have wishes the same wish since I was a little girl... to be happy, that is it, just those 3 words.

Track record so far - mixed, but possibly with a slightly upward tendency!

Anonymous said...

when we first bought our house, we were DIRT POOR...i had to steal cheese and stuff from the supermarket in order to pay the mortgage.

i'm now addicted to it; i think it became some kind of coping mechanism after my baby died.

Anonymous said...

Some of these confessions make me feel grateful for what I have.

Some make me feel as though I haven't really lived.

Anonymous said...

i have cheated on my husband, with three different men since we got married.

i think i might be addicted to sex.

Anonymous said...

Two Christmas' ago, I decided to save shopping time and so while I was at the mall I bought the exact same present for both my husband and my boyfriend.

They both loved it. ; )

Anonymous said...

I take 4 gas X before going to the GYN I am alway scard that I will pass gas.

Anonymous said...

I eat a pound of bacon one time because I just wanted too. I was sick the rest of the day :oX

Anonymous said...

ate - sorry

Anonymous said...

There is a man at my work who just returned to work after losing his arm in an accident 1 year ago. Almost 4 years ago my friends boyfriend lost his hand and he's still on disability. When she talks about how tight finances are, I picture the person who lost more and got over it faster. And then I am bitter.

Anonymous said...

I only feel sexy when I am VERY pregnant.

Anonymous said...

I think my neices are the 2 UGLIEST babies I have ever seen.

Anonymous said...

@Anon 1:07 pm: You're only saying that because you haven't seen my nephews.

Anonymous said...

I am jealous that I never got a chance to have a real educational experience. Whenever I hear of other peoples' Doctorates I want to scream or cry, because I feel like a lump of stupid.

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid that my SO is so nice and sweet that he can't possibly mean it. I don't trust him, but I borrowed money from him to pay a debt, and now I am paying him back, however, I don't know if I can love him or anyone. He wants to marry my cold cold heart. Did the money kill it for me?

Anonymous said...

My dearest love, my soulmate, my best friend died of a massive heart attack in April. He was only fifty-one. We were trying to have a baby. My little children adored him and he them.

Now, when I read blog posts in which women whine about how their SO was just gone for three weeks and oh gosh they Barely Survived Without Him!! I just want to smack them.

Buck up. You have no idea what it is truly like "without him."

Anonymous said...

anonymous @ 3:24 pm: I know exactly what you mean. I'm a single mom with a five year old. My ex is not in the picture. Those people whining about how having their husband gone for(oh noes!) a long weekend is "just like being a single parent" and "now they know how it feels to be a single mom? Fvcking morons.

Anonymous said...

I steal things from work (a retail chain) all the time.

Anonymous said...

When overnight guests stay at my house, I sometimes give them the funky (if you know what I mean) sheets.

Anonymous said...

1:59 and 2:06 - I'm with you both

Anonymous said...

I don't like to play with my youngest child. I love watching him play. I hate playing most of the tedious games he invents. His nanny plays with him a lot more than I do. I read to him, and set up stuff for him to do. I also don't feed my kids nearly as nutritiously as I should. Those kids getting fast food 2-3 times a week are mine. They are not overweight, but those childhood obesity news reports are directed right at me. No one in the house eats veggies except me, and only in moderation.

I hate the little girl next door who is mean to him, and gets him in trouble all the time, and is always yelling "you can't play with us". I wish she would develop warts all over her face. And I feel ridiculous for caring.

I also hate being harped on constantly about being greener. Also not giving up my car.

Anonymous said...

warts all over her face?? She a KID!! Karma I tell you!

Anonymous said...

@JUNE 5, 2009 11:48 AM

Please tell someone. You will feel better if you do and you will have peace of mind knowing that his children are okay. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this.

@JUNE 5, 2006 2:06PM

I know exactly how you feel. I don’t want to die necessarily, but I’m afraid I will end up alone. Maybe it's me?

@JUNE 5, 2009 2:56 PM

IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT.


My confession? The man I have loved since we broke up (over a decade) got married to someone else a week ago. I have to meet her later this summer and I don't know how I will feel.

And yes, before you ask, it may have something to do with how I feel about my husband but only in that I see in him (the other guy) what is possible and what I'm not getting at home (companionship and understanding). The kicker: I broke up with HIM all those years ago. Dumbass (me, not him).

Oh and I think my brother is an asshole and everyone can see it but my mother.

Anonymous said...

My husband secretly used pornography every day for the first four years of our marriage (when I found out by walking in while he had it up on his computer). He says he's stopped but I kind of doubt it.

Anonymous said...

i miss my ex-husband, even though we are married to other people now. i still think we were soulmates, just young and stupid.

Anonymous said...

I think people who eat organic foods are only doing it because it's a fad and they want to look good. Also..Global warming is a load of crap and Al Gore is a sell-out.

Anonymous said...

My kids are really annoying me here lately, and I can't wait until my youngest goes to school. I'm tired of the screeching and screaming and fighting. I still sometime wish I would have had only one kid. Actually, sometimes I wish I hadn't have had any.

Anonymous said...

I have started wishing bad things for every pregnant woman I see - like I hope it will turn out badly. I hate everyone. I am getting married soon and I am afraid that my love has turned into desperation to have a baby (that lives) and he has money. I did love him. Now I nearly hate him for not going all out in making babies with me and I wonder if it's because he can see I'm a bad person.

Anonymous said...

I quit school 2 months before I was set to graduate. I'm now almost 31 and still haven't gotten my GED. I feel like a failure and I think my husband and children think the same thing. I often don't get into "adult" discussions because I'm afraid of saying something stupid or people knowing I quit school and thinking that I shouldn't even be talking because I'm so dumb.

How do I expect to be a good role model to my children when I wasn't even a good one to myself? I don't want the same future for my kids.

Anonymous said...

Money is so tight that we wouldn't be making ends meet without help from family.

I recently found out a former boyfriend (a great guy) makes literally 5 x as much as my husband. Which makes me think about how much easier some things would be if I had stayed with him. If given the chance, I'd make the same choices over again. Turns out I'm more of a hopeless romantic than my pragmatic self ever thought I was.

Anonymous said...

to anon 6/5 3:07

it is hard to convey gentleness over blog comments, and I mean this kindly.

How is it that you could find and keep three jobs, and your husband none? How is it that you carrying this heavy load all alone? Why are you mad at Obama and not W.who started this mess in the first place? Why are you angry at politicians and not frustrated with your husband?

I think your secret is your are frustrated with your marriage, either rationally because he isn't trying as hard as you are, or irrationally (but still understandably) because he IS trying as hard, and it isn't working, and you are still working like a slave, and still not able to cover your obligations. It would bring anyone to the breaking point.

You obviously don't know what it is like to be truly physically disabled, but your critics probably don't know what it is like to be in your shoes either. It is hard to pay taxes towards those not working when your wages do not cover your cost of living, no matter how great the need. I send you compassion.

Anonymous said...

ps,

your tax contributions, however unwillingly given, are helping take care of some people I really care about who really cannot work. You also have my gratitude.

Anonymous said...

I hate my boss, and I think his seven year old daughter's terminal illness is karma for the way he treats people.

Anonymous said...

I hate that I am held to a different standard at work than my seven other coworkers. Most of them graduated high school, but none went further than that. I have two college degrees. It's fine for them to send and receive text message in front of clients or talk about their sex lives in the lobby, using colorful and inappropriate language, but if I'm not helping everyone get their work done in addition to my own, I'm not a team player and I'm not earning my pay. If I'm asking them to do their socializing on their own time, I'm overstepping my position. I'm also scared to try to change jobs.

Anonymous said...

I had sex with my ex-boyfriend on the morning of his wedding to his current wife.

Anonymous said...

I steal from stores all the time. I would die of shame and embrrassment if I were ever found out.

Anonymous said...

I'm into really kinky sex (bondage and domination and all that) and my parents have no clue (thankfully) and whenever I go visit and they bring up something about "deviant sex" they saw on the news and start talking about how horrible and scary it is I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at them. They really have no clue. as long as it's consensual there is nothing scary or horrible about it. When both partners are into it.. So hot!!

Anonymous said...

I'm a girl and I love gay porn. There is something so hot about two (or three, or more!) guys going at it. When I see boys making out I stop and stare and then I worry they think that I'm just another jerk who doesn't like gays, but it's quite the opposite. Sometimes I wish I was a boy just so I could be gay..

Anonymous said...

When my dad died, I wish I'd been able to 'choose' which parent I had to lose. Because although it sounds terrible, I would have picked differently. I love my mom, but I was so much closer to my dad.

Anonymous said...

To girl that 31 and no GED, I got my GED at age 31 and now half way to finishing college. GO FOR IT HON it not to late! :o)I understand how you feel!

Anonymous said...

I like to watch others have sex ...

Anonymous said...

June 7, 2009 3:18 PM - I'm a girl too, and watching two guys kiss, touch, fuck, ANYTHING gets me so fucking hot.

Anonymous said...

About this disability thread --

I *do* know what it's like to struggle for every dime and pay taxes toward those who can't work, knowing full well that there are also people getting that money who don't need it and are abusing the system. However, I already knew that I had a progressive illness, and knew I was headed for the same fate.

There are so many problems with the SSD system -- it prevents people from saving if they're on SSI, because as soon as you reach $2000 in your (or your spouse's) savings account, you can no longer receive the measly stipend. Thus, it really discourages and punishes fiscal responsibility, which is ridiculous.

The sad truth is, though, that there will always be sick and disabled people who cannot work, and I'm incredibly proud to be part of a society that doesn't want to just let those people (people like me and some of my dearest friends) die because they were born with or developed a slightly less functional body than others are blessed to have.

I'm curious as to what you would do if you genuinely got too sick to work? Would you choose to end up on the street and neglect your family because you didn't want to accept help? Somehow I doubt it.

I have true compassion and empathy for you, because I realize that you are in an incredibly difficult position and that you resent where you are in life. It makes sense. But I also think it's deplorable to insult others who aren't lucky enough to have your healthy body and ability to work. I can only hope that your anger at your own situation is coloring your judgment of others, and that you are not genuinely that closed-minded and self-righteous.

Every single person who insults those who receive disability payments needs to take a step back and remember that they could be one car accident, one fall, one malignancy away from needing that help for him or herself.

Anonymous said...

I hate parents who say they have "no choice" but to work and put the kids in daycare, but then spend lots of their daycare time napping, going to the gym, "doing lunch," and shopping while their child is in daycare. Disgusting.

Anonymous said...

My husband is sleeping with his PhD student... WITH my consent. Them sleeping together doesn't bug me. What bugs me that he texts her and emails her more often than he does me. Oh, and that she's skinnier than me. And that I think some of our mutual friends suspect and pity me because they think I don't know.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I pee in the shower. And it makes me happy.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't everyone pee in the shower?

Anonymous said...

I pee in the shower. Daily. In fact, it makes it cleaner because of the ammonia in your urine.

Anonymous said...

Such a good laugh these so called confessions. How do you know if half of them are real or not? Just asking ;)

Now look here, I pee in the shower too, it's natural, perfectly natural but It's not much of a secret!

Coming back later for really juicy confessions, I hope I won't be disappointed :)

Anonymous said...

Even I don't know how much was hyperemesis gravidarum and how much was my fear of getting fat while pregnant

Anonymous said...

I'm finally going to see a sex therapist tomorrow. I can't afford it because it costs almost as much as I make each week. But I'm going crazy.

Anonymous said...

I fucking need to know what or if she told them. I wonder if she lied and said it was my fault. I don't think she'd dare tell the truth--that it was her who fucked things up.

Anonymous said...

I feel totally blessed that I had a baby at 43. But I am beyond sad that he will be an only child. My husband doesn't want another but I don't care, I still consider us to be "trying." If by some miracle I got pregnant again, I would be the happiest woman on earth and I don't care what he thinks.

Anonymous said...

oh god, oh god, oh god.

i miss us.

but i don't know if i want us back together again.

the hole is too fucking big.

but oh god, i want you to want me. desperately.

i fucking love you. and i miss you so much.

i feel like i don't even know you anymore.

how the hell can things change so fucking quickly?!?

Anonymous said...

My SIL says my FIL sexually abused her between the ages of 3-7. He denies it. Although my reflexive position is never to doubt the accuser/victim, I do have doubts... I don't know who is telling the truth, or what really happened. So I am uneasy about my 1-year-old daughter developing a relationship with him... I am always watchful, and I try to arrange things so that he isn't ever alone with her (this was my therapist's advice; given all the details I could muster, she had doubts too about the accusation) - but it hasn't always been possible. I don't know how to be respectful of my in-laws (all of them) while still protecting my daughter. I want to protect her, but is the threat real? I don't know what to do.

Anonymous said...

I'm finally pregnant after multiple IVFs, loss, years, untold thousands of dollars.

I am ecstatic. And I'm also worried sick that I won't like our son if he's not very smart. How on earth will I relate to him if he's dull? Or, you know, average? I want to like him as well as love him. I really only deeply and genuinely enjoy the company of people who are, well, brilliant. Luckily, I know quite a few of those.

But there's no guarantee that our son will be the one of them.

Anonymous said...

As I look at us, I wonder, "What happened, Jos? What the heck happened to us?"

It makes me terribly, terribly sad and lonely.

We are not us anymore, are we, my love?

No. We are not.

Anonymous said...

June 8, 2009 10:03 PM

First off protecting your daughter should trumb hurting m-laws feels!


June 8, 2009 10:16 PM
Second, the one who is worried about giving birth to a "dull" son, did you just fall off the slow bus? Really did you? You get a chance to have a baby and you worried if he will be dull? You better pray he healthy and stop worrying that he maybe "normal". You have a lot growing up to do.

Anonymous said...

If I were given one wish I would have to think long and hard about whether it would be for my ex to lose his legs,arms and penis in an accident.

Anonymous said...

Niobe, you once asked why non-babyloss mamas would ever want to read babyloss blogs. I don't know if I can explain, but sometimes I feel that I can grieve vicariously through others what I can't give myself permission for to grieve for myself (infertility, miscarriage).

Anonymous said...

I friend a lot of mutual friends on Facebook in the hopes that my unrequited love from high school will notice and friend me. There are a thousand reasons why I shouldn't ever think of him again, not least of which is the pain it would cause my husband to know that I am still in love, over a decade later.

I dream about him all the time and I have no idea how to stop.

Anonymous said...

I convinced my husband that we should try for another baby and now that I am pregnant I want an abortion. I am terrified of losing another baby at full term and putting my living children through that again.

Anonymous said...

RE: June 8, 2009 10:16 PM
I think you should be worrying about your son hating you rather than how brilliant he will be. I think you need a serious rethink of your values and priorities because I don't think you are mature enough to parent yet. A starting point could be, learn to not project your shit and hangups onto him. and for the record, no I don't find you brilliant based on what you wrote, I just think you're an arsehole and you need to get over yourself.

Anonymous said...

I love the smell of my farts.

Anonymous said...

2:47, o noes! Anonymous troll on the internets doesn't think I'm mature enough! Why, okay then! I'll just return this baby in my belly!

I'm not too worried about your not finding me brilliant; wasn't really writing to impress you. Something tells me that you wouldn't be my bestest friend under any circumstances. Call it an intuition from what *you* wrote.

I know I'm gonna be a great mom, so I'm also not too worried about my son hating me. Everyone has fears about their own ability to love and parent. My fear happens to ring your bells.

And yes, June 8 11:47, I'm praying he healthy. Don't worry. I have enough anxiety to cover all sorts of issues without skimping on any of them.

Anonymous said...

LOL do you think the girl that worry her son will be dull is little to uptight and going to fine out what life really about in say oooo about 10 years POOR KID! LOL Karma I tell you!

Anonymous said...

I hate my BF husband

Anonymous said...

I too wonder if I will like my baby girl after she is born. How will she compare to the image I hold of my son who was born perfect in everyway except he wasn’t breathing. Now I know that terrible things happen and children don’t live up to naïve day dreams.

These confessions show that many women are disappointed with their children even after struggling to have them. I believe the earlier woman will love her son but I understand if she is afraid of not liking him. Don’t we all have moments of disappointed with reality after hoping and dreaming for a long time?

Better to think about it now instead of being shocked by the feelings later… when the child can read your expression.

Anonymous said...

I fear my son will end up in prison. He's 7. He's brilliant and funny and stubborn and amazing and difficult and charming and angry and kind and miserable and awesome. It scares me that he could either end up famous or infamous.

Anonymous said...

I want to have sex with my doctor. He knows it and flirts with me. Hottest experience of the last decade for me was when he gave me a routine breast exam. His nurse was in the room, so it was nothing untoward — but he did comment on my sky-high heart rate just afterward.

Anonymous said...

Yesterday, two blue lines. I'm on the edge of being happy but can't let myself believe it yet. I'm also scared as shit. I don't want to lose another one.

Anonymous said...

When I first found out I was pregnant Feb 15, 09 I told my best friend, then my mom, then another friend, then last but not least my boyfriend!

When I found out my baby died I told my boyfriend first then my mom. I am still to scared to tell anyone else. I still feel as though it was my fault! Maybe if I would have been really excited like my family was she would have lived. Or if I would have eaten organic crap she would have lived.

Sometimes I cry at night knowing that soon my body will reject my baby from my womb (i opted out of the D&C) and im scared that I wont want to see her.

I was supposed to go in tomorrow for an ultra sound to see what I was having. my mom and dad were goin to go with me, but that changed when i was rushed to the E.R. on sunday and found out that she was in fact a girl and that she was no longer alive!

Anonymous said...

When my boyfriend is asleep at night I cry because for some reason I think that it was my fault I was raped when I was 13.

I also think that the reason I have gone through so much shit is because I have done some horrible things to people in the past and I dont deserve to be happy!

Anonymous said...

I fantasize about sending people who have treated me like crap over the years an anonymous box of dog shit in the mail. Just the thought of the look on their faces makes me laugh.

Also, I totally understand wishing face warts on someone's kid. There have been some over the years who have done things to my kids - like breaking one of their arms 'on accident' on the playground by shoving them off a slide - or who have come to our house acting like God's gift to the universe, who I would be very happy seeing have a giant wart on their nose. Not a permanent one, just one that would last long enough to let them know what it's like to walk a different path and gain some empathy / a sense that they really aren't *that* perfect.

Anonymous said...

I went to the sex therapist today. She has hope for me. I don't. (Sexually.)

Anonymous said...

I hate, hate, hate my immediate supervisor, but am strangely attracted to him and would cheat on my husband for one night with him.

Anonymous said...

I've slept with over 250 men. I'd still be fucking like a rabbit now if I weren't married. I miss the random, hot sex so badly.

I sometimes wonder how a "sex-a-holic" like me ended up marrying a guy that has trouble getting it up sometimes, but would never consider seeing a doctor about it.

Anonymous said...

The reason I keep postponing my trip to visit my family is not because I'm too busy, but because if I go out there, I have to visit my grandma. It takes so much time and effort to go see her with two little kids that I'd rather skip seeing my family altogether.

Anonymous said...

I hate my own mom and wish sometime I was never born to her.

Anonymous said...

Why does God let ppl like walk this earth

Anonymous said...

Jeez troll ever? Obviously, you didn't have her mother.

Anonymous said...

mom is a bad seed, i just wanted her love

Anonymous said...

First, I still Love my DH.

BUT...He owns his own business which I work in. He has always handled the bills/taxes with the help of an accountant.

I found out 2 years ago that he has not paid taxes for the past 9 years, the first 6 years of our marraige he did. He blames the accountant and I blame them both and myself for being too trusting, I feel cheated on. And looking back I wasn't signing things very much, but I figured they signed for me when needed.

We are now is a HUGE tax mess and the accountant is useless, but a friend of my FIL. DH plans to change to a new accountant when this mess is over (NEVER). We KNOW he claims we made more than we did and we do not have the money to EVER pay the back taxes.

I will never own a house and I worry constantly about my 3 children and our future.

It took me at least a full year to forgive my DH, and I am still angry about the whole situation.

Anonymous said...

I have a lot of confessions so here goes:
I fantasize about having sex with my friends husbands (the ones who have hot husbands, anyway). I know that one of them feels the same way about me. I wish I had the balls to do it but I don't. His wife is fabulous and doesn't deserve the devastation it would cause, however, so I never could live with myself if I did.

I still think my first husband is my one true love on this earth. He is bipolar, though, and refused meds and I couldn't handle it so we got divorced. I still love him.

I had an abortion with a pregnancy from my current husband three years before we got married. I still wonder about my decision to this day.

I have HPV and have never told my husband (its asymptomatic).

I know the password to my best friend's email address and I still check her email from time to time.

I totally pee in the shower. Every day, in fact.

Sometimes I regret having children.

Anonymous said...

You have HVP and never told him???????????????? sigh

Anonymous said...

People who don't share that have HPV and pass it on thinking it ok cause asymptomatic make me mad! Because it can cause cancer and that is selfish. You want to sleep with friends husband knowing he sleep with her and give her HPV. I know you are not going to, but still!

Anonymous said...

I’m so sick of dealing with years of my bipolar sister in law’s bullshit that sometimes I wish that she’d put her money where her mouth is and just go a ahead and kill herself already.

Anonymous said...

Disabled people did not get $250 a month. More like $25.
People who harbor hatred for the disabled...suck big time


I dislike Obama as well...

Anonymous said...

*edited to add (niobe style)not EVERY diabled person recieved $250
my apologies

Anonymous said...

I had an affair, I left my husband for my lover. Somedays I think it was the biggest mistake of my life. I love my now ex-husband more than anything. He was my first true love. I love my now fiance too but not the same way. The sex is great but conversation is lacking. I need conversation and not during sex!

Anonymous said...

I like porn movies, I would like to go to a porn theater and have sex but I'm afraid of the other people there.

Anonymous said...

I am incredibly unhappy and I have no idea why. I have a good job, a house, and a husband who loves me. We're thinking about kids, but I'm afraid I'll mess them up like me. Of course I had the "difficult childhood" (parents on drugs, welfare, father died when I was a teen, etc.), but I can't stand it when people use that sort of thing as an excuse. But is it? Could I get some therapy and "talk it through" and end up happy in the end? Happy like I'm supposed to be? Should be?

I cry at least once a day, and I'm worried my husband will find out I'm crazy and leave me. Help.