Monday, June 15, 2009


I can't remember where I saw this meme, but it's one of those things where you google "unfortunately, [your name]" and share the results. (Of course, replacing [your name] with (duh) your name.* Or I suppose, some other name, if your name or pseudonym is so uncommon you don't turn up any results.)

Here are mine, which seem almost preternaturally apposite.

Unfortunately, Niobe won't avoid blocked roads, so you'll just have to hope that any cars you manage to dispose of actually land in a lane other than your own.

Unfortunately, Niobe had another suitor, a powerful sorcerer in the duke's army.

Unfortunately Niobe noticed this and the look on his face seemed to amuse her a great deal as she let out a light chuckle while shaking her head.

Go ahead, try it yourself. And, if you do, please, leave your favorite (or "favorite") results or a link to your blog in the comments.

*Although, phrased like that, it sounds a little, um, recursive. Which reminds me of that time, long, long ago, when I overheard a conversation between a mom and her toddler son. They were apparently visiting the public restroom on their way to a birthday party, because I overheard the mom saying in her R-dropping Boston accent Now, Timmy, you have to go to the pah-ty before you can go to the pah-ty. Which at the time, I thought was hilarious, but I now realize is probably a location joke. As in, you had to be there.

Be sure to check out the following. Believe me, after reading them, you'll never think of these bloggers in quite the same way again:
unfortunately, nicole
unfortunately, heather
unfortunately, k@lakly
unfortunately, lori
unfortunately, karen
unfortunately, mrs. spit
unfortunately, jill
unfortunately (and fortunately), trish
unfortunately, donna
unfortunately, caro
unfortunately, which box
unfortunately, the yak


LawMommy said...

Deeply disturbing to me, when I google "Unfortunately, [my real name]" - three of the first four results are discussing DOGS. Apparently my real name is more popular among canines than among humans...sigh...

Deshaine said...

ugh... blehk.

"Deshaine" renders nothing.

And my actual name is so common the things that came up were related to a date. As in: "Unfortunately, *December* 13 won't work for..."

oh, well...

Julie said...

"Unfortunately, Julie got fired from her role on that show when it was revealed that she had previously posed nude for Playboy."

Lies, damnable lies.

(It was Hustler.)

Kymberli said...

My results:

Unfortunately, Julie went right out the back of the boat, and Kym fell out to the front.

Unfortunately, Kym suffered quite a few broken bones and now has a metal arm.

Unfortunately, Kym did not stay on the show very long as they were eliminated the first week.

Unfortunately, Kym will probably not be at school tomorrow due to Llama Flu. ( an aside: WTF - Llama Flu???)

Unfortunately, Kym was involved in a pretty bad car accident and ended up with a broken arm.

Unfortunately, Kym's contract wasn't signed because Kym's parents got cold feet.

Unfortunately, Kym's attention-seeking nature proves near-disastrous.

Unfortunately, Kym Sheppard didn't win any awards for Millennium.

Unfortunately, Kym and I never saw the coffees we ordered, so that was a bit of a let-down.

Unfortunately, Kym had a run in with a car door, opened into traffic by a careless driver after parking, the day before the race!

Unfortunately Kym took ill with a migraine and just couldn't carry on.

Alexicographer said...

Wow, this cracked me up.

Most Alexicographer quotes are me, but there's one other person using the name online and the tweet that popped up was, "Unfortunately cycling takes as long takes as the bus did - but it is free!" Um, no, no it isn't -- not the type of (IVF) cycling I do. It does, however, take at least as long as riding the bus [across the country with a flat tire], so I'm willing to concede that point.

Using my real name produces some pretty funny ones too, including

Unfortunately [she] likes to act too crazy sometimes resulting in ...

Unfortunately, [she] had placed her trust in a wholly unholy man.

Ah, yes. Yes, indeedy.

Yolanda (the callipygian chronicle) said...

All three of mine are about absence. One, momentarily. The other two, permanently:

Unfortunately, Yolanda was unable to attend yesterday’s meeting, but I was able to speak with her husband, Benturo Huamantica, who is also a group member and works with his wife.

Unfortunately Yolanda King, the eldest of his children, passed away before that dream was ever realized, as today the discussion surrounding the newest Supreme Court nominee is about the color of her skin, rather than the merit of her judicial philosophy.

Unfortunately, Yolanda passed away a few years ago leaving behind her a legacy of precisely painted and solidly slipped Acoma pottery.

Betty M said...

The first few with my real name are all blogposts doing the meme. And with my blog name either refer to Ugly Betty or Betty Boo. I need a new name!

Tash said...

Seeing as someone famous with the name, er, "Tash" died somewhat recently, you can imagine what my google results look like. Unfortunately, I seem to have expired.

niobe said...

Tash: Huh. When I google "Tash" I get:

Unfortunately Tash has been attached to the bomb which is booby trapped.

Maybe not such an improvement.

Tash said...

I also got "U'y, Tash died today," and similarly, "U'y, Tash learned the hard way." Perhaps my favorite tho, regarding yet another (live) famous "Tash," "U'y, Tash's words aren't always memorable."

Nicole said...

OK - mine were just tragic
Unfortunately, Nicole never considered the fact that she could get pregnant while doing alcohol and drugs while having unprotected sex. [this really was the first thing to come up]

I posted some more on my blog

yummysushipajamas said...

No fair, I got sasquatch! You get sorcerers!!! :)

Melissia said...

Because of the strange spelling to my name there are only two hits but they are good ones.
Unfortunately, Melissia was pinched by a small sand crab, and we had to knock it off her...
And this one must be written about me: "Unfortunately, Melissia, You're the cold one."
I get that last one allot and it is sort of a personal motto, so am not surprised to find it on the internet!

niobe said...

Melissia: And here I thought I was the cold one. Is it okay if I borrow your motto?

de said...

Unfortunately, Deidre betrayed her friendship for selfish motivation: to win as the prom queen.

loribeth said...

OK, I couldn't resist. My results are at

I did a similar meme once -- only you had to Google "Lori wants."

Monica H said...

"Unfortunately, Monica's dress turned out to have a bit of DNA on it"

"Unfortunately Monica had fallen into a vicious circle of drugs and prostitution"

"Unfortunately, Monica also gets sick often and is hospitalized several times a year. It doesn't seem to bother her, she loves the nurses and doctors"

"Unfortunately, Monica's just doesn't cut it"

So unfortunately, Monica is a ho and a druggie. Could be why she has DNA on her dress, and has several hospital visits.

k@lakly said...

So much more fun than cleaning the bathrooms....

Melissia said...

Niobe, you may use my motto any time you like, as well as my online alter ego. Evidently,she is Marchioness Melissia Blackheart of Laven:Level 35 Dragoon with over 8500 posts, and a very pink girly feathery avatar who hangs out in a rather large egg shell, we are soul mates, as you can tell. Well, except for the fact that we both spend way to much time online and have a propensity to kill stuff, we don't have much in common, Oh and the coldness in our souls, that too.

flutter said...

who knew you were so high up in the duke's army?

Angela said...

Most of mine were referencing the book/movie Angela's Ashes. Dull.

Karen said...

after sorting through many hits that were other bloggers playing the game...

Magpie said...

Unfortunately, Magpie tends to be buggy.

Unfortunately, Magpie is retarded.

Unfortunately, Magpie is currently only available for Internet Explorer.

Unfortunately, Magpie is discontinued.

leanne said...

Unfortunately Leanne, you can't have it both ways.

Unfortunately Leanne won't be in the country when the show is broadcast in May as she will be attending her sister's wedding in Australia.

Unfortunately, Leanne didn't enjoy her brief period in Berlin and it was generally not a good time to be there.

Unfortunately, Leanne was unavailable for comment this morning, as no-one is sure where she is.

Jenni said...

this meme is so much funnier than it has any right to be. quite enjoying!

Unfortunately, Jenni's behavior did not improve. After a modification hearing in May 2002, the juvenile court made the following observations...

Unfortunately Jenni lost everything she owned, including her written music, in an apartment fire in March of 2002.

Unfortunately Jenni's lost her purse, she thinks she dropped it when getting out of the taxi last night, we've rung around all the local firms to ask them ...

jill said...

Thanks for the fun Niobe! You can read mine here:

Wabi said...

Under Wabi, I get nothing sensical. But under my real name I got:

1) Unfortunately, ___ parades around the bedroom wearing only a bra and unbuttoned shirt.

2) Unfortunately, ___'s bedtime of 6 p.m. did not allow her to attend any of the formal dinners held in her honour, but her visit seems to have calmed the Thai people ...

I guess the Thai people are calmed by nearly-topless women who go to bed early?

three minute palaver said...

Unfortunately, Clare emailed me to say that they won't have any of the camembert at this weekend's market. She will, however, be bringing homemade quark. ...

[not too bad if I say so myself. this could actually be me, but it's not!]

Angela said...

Unfortunately, Angela kicked my ass during my attempt to bag her. Her martial arts ability turned my mission into a failure.

Unfortunately, Angela is a demon sent by Satan to destroy my self-control at her leisure. So naturally she sent me a link to a Paul Smith scarf on sale.

Caro said...

Couldn't resist this one so I've blogged it.

Dayna said...

But unfortunately for Dayna, there wasn't much wardrobe to begin with! All she got for her role as a saloon girl were bloomers, a camisole and a corset.

(Not true. I got a lace parasol as well.) ;-)

Unfortunately Dayna and I got some terrible news about Frodo.

Lauren said...

i found this "unfortunately" bit through Nicole's blog who was inspired by your post, and had to share because it was SO funny! ;)