true/false
Time to spill. Leave your guilty secrets in the comments. Be sure to choose the anonymous option. If there are enough comments, I'll leave (anonymously, of course) a few tasty confessions of my own.
And here's the twist: while true confessions are, as always, welcome, this month you should feel free to also add confessions that are, shall we say, something less than entirely accurate.
If you decide to leave a not-quite-true confession, make it as over the top as you'd like, but try to add at least a thin veneer of plausibility. I'm curious to see if anyone can tell the difference.
Ready...set....go
256 comments:
1 – 200 of 256 Newer› Newest»I'm afraid of the dark. And of people breaking in in the middle of the night. And of bats.
Remember the Candy Land card with the picture of a piece of peanut brittle on it? I took a big bite out of it. (the card, I mean). It actually tasted pretty good.
I used to know a really spooky girl who had a twin sister who died at birth. The girl said she could communicate with her sisters spirit. All us kids were terrified of her and we wouldn't ever sit with her at lunch.
I just got home from sleeping with a man who only been marred 9 weeks.
I hate my "best friend"...and think she's a whiny,spoiled,selfish bitch!
My husband wants to have kinky sex. I'm not so sure.
I hate my "best friend"...and think she's a whiny,spoiled,selfish bitch!
I think you forgot to mention that I'm also psychic.
hugs & kisses,
your BFF
I pretend to like dogs but really i can't stand them. Too sloppy and smelly. Why would anyone want to have one in theire house?
I used to know a really spooky boy who had a twin brother who died at birth. The boy said she could communicate with his brother's spirit. All us kids thought he was a goddamned superhero. He was swamped with admirers at lunch.
Now that my friend since primary school has had her baby, I critique her in my mind constantly. She put her last baby up for adoption when it was two years and the whole time she was pregnant with this second child, I felt like she didn't deserve it. When she fed her two week old rice cereal to get him to sleep through the night he got constipated. I watched her put a rectal thermometer in his ummm...rectum and swirl it around while the baby screamed bloody murder and pulled out his poo. Seriously, she didn't want to tell his dr. what she had done with the cereal.
I haven't gone back there. I hope her child survives her.
She called this morning and asked to bring the baby over. I faked busy and probably will for a long time.
I don't think she deserves her child and I get angry that I was such a good mom to my first and my second died and now I can't concieve without intervention and I'm not financially able.
I think she's a rotten brat..
that's all...
I have 7 frozen embryos and I don't know what to do with them. My husband and I can't make up our minds whether we want to have a fourth child or not. But I feel like I am destroying children if I donate them to science or have them destroyed. And I can't donate them because of my family history of cancer. I don't know what to do...
@10:00am Very interesting. I want to have kinky sex but my husband isn't so sure.
Give me a call since it seems like that we might be be able to work out something that would make all of us happy. If you know what I mean.
I think my children are amazing, but most kids annoy me.
I got pregnant when I was in college. If I'd had the baby, s/he would be almost 30 now. I could be a grandmother. But I'm not.
My boss sent around a memo saying that wwe weren't allowed to wear thongs to work anymore. I was pretty shocked but then I realzied he was talking about sandals.
Speaking of sandals, my college roomie had six toes on each foot. Supposedly it's a dominent trait, so I always wondered if she passed it on to her kids.
Inside my purse is a portal to another dimension. I know it's there because every time I look for my keys, they've disappeared. It only has 3 pockets and it's not a huge bag. I'm afraid one day I'll be sucked into it.
A relative had 5 singletons in 5.5 years all by C-section. I despise them for their dumb luck at uterine russian roulette. Rather than be modestly grateful that none of their pregnancies ended horribly, they are insufferably smug about their superior parenting abilities. What a joke! I hope the next time their 2 yo gets stuck hanging upside down in a tree because no one is ever watching him, he falls to his death/horrible disablement. Maybe then they'll learn how wrong they are.
I just got a positive on a pregnancy test.
In junior high, I made up a story about a long-lost sister from my dad's first marriage to get attention. A few years ago, in my late twenties, my dad revealed to me that I have a long-lost sister (that was put up for adoption) from his first marriage.
When I was a little girl I wanted to be a pickpocket. I had visions of myself as an adorable street urchin with feather-light fingers and a heart of gold. I used to practice on my friends. I was never very good.
@12:21 pm: You're the one who keeps stealing @11:11 am's keys, aren't you?
In '07 I suffered a terrible tradgedy. The guy I was with after that worked at an upscale Mexican restaraunt whose kitchen helpers sold black tar heroin. I shot it into my veins for five months and then quit. People who say they can't quit doing drugs are pathetic to me. You just stop! I know, I've been there. You put it down, break up with your junkie boyfriend and STOP.
Saying it's not that easy is an excuse I think.
Also... It's hard for me not to look down on people who are addicted to painkillers but have no ailments that cause them pain.
It's people like them that keep people in real pain, from being able to get them.
@11:10 My friend's husband's family is sometimes polydactyl. One of their daughters had six fingers on each hand at birth, and they were really secretive and freaked out and had them removed immediately, but I couldn't help thinking what an incredible piano player she could have been.
I think people who use "I" or "myself" when they should use "me" are stupid.
I want so much to try for a second child right now even though I know it would be dumbest thing on earth financially, and that if I will just wait a few years I might be able to have my dream of being a stay at home mom with 2 kids. But what if my partner's graduate degree doesn't help her get a better paying job like we're hoping, and what if in 3 years we are unable to conceive a second child and I have missed out? When do you stop letting money keep you from your dreams?
I've always wanted to take a trip to Malawi.
I let my sons play computer games for hours each day. Sometimes they'll go from the television to the computer and back to the television.
I'm too lazy, too tired, too unmotivated, too uncreative to try to think of other ways to occupy them that I like too. They don't like hiking. Sometimes the thought of taking them somewhere, like a children's museum, or a pool makes me feel so tired I can't bring myself to do it.
I'm grateful for the quiet time that media buys me, but I can't just enjoy the quiet time because I know I'm being a slacker mom. Even when other (good) mothers confess to me they feel guilty about letting their kids watch TV, I know I'm guiltier because they're guilty for just an hour or so. My kids watch for several.
I am longing for school to start again and put an end to the misery. But I should be glad to have this time with my children. And I should have the wherewithal to make it fun for all of us.
I have one daughter who is 18 months old. I got pregnant on the first try, had a ridiculously boring pregnancy, and an easy 3 hour labor. The first thought I had when they handed my perfect baby to me was that I could not wait to do it all again.
Since my daughter's birth I have discovered the land of dead baby blogs and now the thought of getting pregnant again fills me with a terrible sense of dread. My husband thinks we have been trying to get pregnant for 6 months with no luck, but the truth is that I've been lying to him about ovulation.
I never ever want to be pregnant again. Now that I've read so many stories about all of the horrible things that can go wrong, the thought of being pregnant completely overwhelms me to the point where I almost can't breath. I just don't think I could handle the anxiety.
I can't imagine ever getting over this fear and it breaks my heart.
I sometimes still wish my son was a girl.
My sister is starting her first IVF cycle.
I was happy today when she texted me and said, she didn't ovulate yet and things are going as planned.
I feel like a bitch.
Obviously I meant NOT going as planned.
My son keeps telling me that he wants to be a girl and only will wear girls' clothes. He won't listen when I say he's really a boy. Does this mean he's transexual or a transvestitie?
@4:04
I'm pretty sure that your son is not a "transvestitie". Hope this sets your mind at ease.
I hate people who come to a blog after you comment and comment on your comment. Smugly. When in reality, your remarks just went FLYING over their head. And they were intended for the blog author, anyway. It's almost enough to put one off of commenting. Almost.
I walked away from a man who wanted to marry me when I was a senior in college. Now I'm in love with a man who I'm afraid isn't in love with me, which makes me both incredibly sad and also worried that maybe I walked away from my only chance when I was in college...
@10:44 am I love kinky sex. I don't get to have it nearly enough. I miss it. I wish we could get together, heehee.
I also love that I love kinky sex. That I have this innocent-girl exterior when really people would never suspect that I like a finger in the ass doggy-style.
@4:04 Maybe. Just listen to and support him. That's the best thing you can do.
I'm the anon who was worried about their son wearing girls clothes and I have to say that I'm LMAO at the "transvestitie" comment. That was hilarious!
i am terrified that i might have cervical cancer. to the point where i've put off a doctor's appointment for 4 months.
I hate my brother and sister in law. And I can't figure out where my bad feelings begin or what I hate more ... their posing and their competitiveness ... or the feelings that I have in response to being around them. I hate all their constant, (almost) unspoken measuring (except when they slip) ... their cool, PC parenting, not a hair out of place (or so they would have you believe). It's as though all my little family is good for ... is as a point of reference for whether they are "ahead" or "behind." And it's all so very passive-aggressive. So between the lines (you could never take them to court over it, but it's there). No matter how hard we try, no matter how many good qualities we have ... Me an mine are just objects to these people and we'd better know our place. They are constantly sucking up to my nasty, alcoholic mother in law, playing The Good Children -- benefiting (?) -- at least in family politics -- from our unwillingness to be manipulated.
And yet I regret my petty, negative reactions so much, because all I ever wanted was to be part of a big family. Be careful what you wish for, I guess. I drive myself nuts wondering, Is it them or is it me? Is there something I can do to "fix" the relationship? If I were a "better" person, would the dynamic be better?
I feel so weak for wanting to go back on my anti-anxiety medication. Life was so much more bearable on it.
I fantasize about leaving my husband and taking the kids somewhere faraway to live, where he can't find us and starting a whole new life. I'm so tired of this one.
I'm terrified that I might be sick. Seriously ill. I fought hard to build my family and now all I want to do is to love them and raise them (raise the kids not my husband). I'm so afraid it will all be taken away from me and they will be left motherless at tender ages/spouseless. My husband is great, but he doesn't multitask well, he has some gaping black holes in his nurturing skills and his family is poisonous. This fear has me paralyzed beyond reason. I have several good friends who battled cancer recently, and supporting them through it scared the shit out of me. The worst part is ... sick or not ... the anxiety is ruining some wonder years for me.
I just found out that someone I know had an early miscarriage. I was so jealous when I found out she was pregnant and now that she's lost the baby, I feel like I'm the one who cursed her with my bad thoughts.
My friends and I (is that me?? I do feel dumb!) are so cursed with bad pregnancies that my OB told me to get new friends.
I get so scared for pregnant women. My SIL just had a rocky pregnancy and I was terrified. So anxious I should probably be on meds.
Oh hell I should definitely be on meds. I went to my GP this afternoon for an eye infection and the last note in my chart was from my high-risk OB and here I am almost shaking thinking about it hours later.
I also hate that none of my doctors realise how stressful this is.
I think there are a lot of rude people who like to make snarky comments on these tell all threads. Schadenfreude at its finest.
I still wear maternity umpteen years later.
I am not a good mom. Most of the time I try my best and hope that it is good enough. Anonymity be damned.
Not to take anything away from you @5:32pm, but... if a finger in the ass doggy-style is "kinky", I must be a full-blown deviant. Tied-up, blind-folded, getting vaginally fisted with a butt-plug in my ass (of course -haha) is more my speed, but hey... always knew I had issues. Now if only I could find a woman hubby and I were both attracted to. And if he'd just get even HALF as into what I really like as I do, that would be amazing.
As often as I sit here wasting time reading blogs, and as often as blogging has been real therapy for me, I'm beginning to think it's bullshit. NOT blogging has become therapy for me now. But maybe it's the bloggers I've been reading? Niobe excepted, due to her anonymity. But the mass of clique-y seeming women and men that went to BlogHer now sound like the silliest bitches in high school. I think I feel like this at least partially because I'm jealous I'm not all in their little clique-y world, and partly because their little world is just BS. Maybe that's just me.
I'm pretty sure my dearest friend thinks I'm at best an annoying whiner, and she's right. It seems like no matter how much I try to focus on her and be supportive, we always end up talking about my crap and not hers. And conversely, I feel like she's a bitch for feeling that way. Which is unfair. We live so far apart now I think we'd be just as well off to move on with our lives and not worry about each other. But whatever. I just hope we can stand each other through this weird time in our lives and truly be close again someday.
Cate, I suck at motherhood too. It was all I ever wanted, and I just don't seem to have the emotional make-up to pull it off. I blame my mother for being an amazing mom, thereby making me think it would be easy and come to me very naturally. But I'm an asshole like my father. I try to at least actively NOT do the shit my dad did, or at least apologize when I realize did. I'm afraid the main reason I want another baby is because I'm a birth junkie and I love to breastfeed, but once they get out of diapers, I just blow it. I think this is why I can't get pregnant now. God just closed that shit down for the better of all. This is killing me because giving birth and breastfeeding are the only two things I've ever been any good at, and now I can't do that either.
If I was a deadbaby mom, or had never given birth, I think I'd feel rather pleased to hear that a woman like me can't get pg again, and I wouldn't begrudge any of you for feeling that way. There are way more deserving women than I am out there. If my husband would support me in doing surrogacy, I would.
before I met my husband I had sex with well over a 100 men. he knows I came with experience but doesn't know how much. I'm not ashamed to tell him, it just never came up.
I really wish my man would be less vanilla in the sack.
Anon at 10.39pm .... you are a motherfucking legend. You had me at butt-plug.
Anon at 12.58 on the 7th August ... you may have shot up heroin for five months, but that does not make you an addict. It's extremely hard for an addict to stop shooting up. Nigh on impossible.
My confession: I'm perilously close to achieving some lifelong dreams and it's scaring the utter shit out of me. Also, I hate the look of my vagina and do not let my husband go down on me. Ever. He's stopped asking.
I like to have hot sex, but I am scared to let loose.
I'm just disappointed that I left my "not quite true confessions" which were "as over the top" as I'd like with "a thin veneer of plausibility" on past Confessions threads here. Now I feel like I'm all tapped out.
What anonymous @ 10:18 said. But I can still make up lots more.
I tell my kids that I'm "saving" their Halloween candy for later. But really, I just eat it myself.
I lick excess babyfood off my baby's face before going for the washcloth. But only if it's fruit/tasty..
Anon @ 10:39 the tied up + buttplug thing sounds like what I do to my husband.. Which he loves!
In fact the day we conceived our son my husband was cuffed to the bed, blindfolded, and gagged with both his nipples clamped. It was fantastic.
They have websites, lovely ones, showing women's tummies and breasts, showing how different we all are, showing what truly constitutes "normal" regardless of the marketing media image of perfection. They should really have sites like that for the whole vulva/vagina region, so women can see how radically different we all are down there. Hate for ladies like @8:37 AM to miss out good sex just because of image issues.
@12:10 PM I'm sure that such sites exist. But they probably are intended for a slightly difference audience.
@12:36 PM Excellent point.
I'm a bad mom too. Not just "fishing for compliments" bad mom but a BAD mom. I sometimes think my dead baby is the best one I have because he doesn't talk back and I can say I'm a mom without the effort. I am missing the "sensitivity" gene that Brad Pitt is missing as well. WTF is wrong with me?
To those looking for l@bia pics -- not spelling it out to avoid google -- there're many sites out there. Just for example, my particular type of l@b is called a "full blown rose" Go ahead look it up.
If you August 8, 2009 8:37 AM have never let your husband go down on you, you are missing OUT BIG TIME! Girl let loose and enjoy it! He seen a vagina it not something he going to be shocked to see on his own wife.
I like to have sex knowing I might get caught. hehe
My husband has this habit of using his socks to wipe his ass. Not after using the toilet, but more of a before bed / end of the day type thing. It's such an unbelievable turn off. I bought flushable wipes for the bathroom, hoping we would take a hint. It's things like this that make marriage impossibly hard.
I drink. Alot. I think I'm drunk right now. As usual.
I never drink and drive thought. Not like that psycho absolut guzzler lady who killed 8 people, mostly kids and including her own self while driving blitzed out of her mind the wrong way on the high way. I feel so sorry for those poor innocent little kids.
@8:37AM and the follow-up commenters. Wouldn't you know, science got to this issue too. Here, and I do hope this helps.
After 1st IVF attempt I find myself pregnant with 3 babies. FUCK!!
Despite being grateful, I am definitely going with selective reduction to ONE and I can't tell anyone.
@6:19PM I know someone who did exactly that. At the time (this was years and years ago) I didn't understand her decision. But now I do.
I like phone better then real sex
@3:46pm Maybe you could leave some random articles about the transference of bacteria and fungus from random different body parts laying around? That is just nasty.
I HATE that my husband leaves my car radio on AM after he drives it. I want to scream every time I turn on the car and hear sport news blaring from the speakers.
This week while he is out running I'm going to change all the pre-set stations in his car to easy listening or religious commentary.
Do you think he'll take the hint?
I agree husband ass thing, NASTY I throw all of his socks away, I would never wash them, I just keep thowing them out. Let him buy new onces, price you pay ass smelling socks. yuk
I'm sick of hearing about race and race relations. If race doesn't matter can we please stop talking about it nonstop?
I still sleep with my security blanket.
...I'm 27, and married.
My husband literally has the mentality of a 3 year old, and acts like one all the time even in public. Even in going so far as to throw silly little fits when he doesn't get his way. It's gotten so bad that it's to the point that I use tricks from the book "Happiest Toddler on the Block" to try and calm him down when he's freaking out about me not buying him some stupid toy or whatever. I think the worst part is they actually work.. Sigh.
But what can I do? He's a wonderful dad and I love him very much, but as much as I try to help him I just don't think he's ever going to grow up.
My husband begs me to go down on him while he's driving the car. I do it, sometimes. But geez, wtf am I going to say to the cops when we have some fatal accident. don't see a good explanation. Maybe I shoul stop. But I get so tired of his begging and pleading and it's the only thing that shuts him up. Kind of.
I have a real problem with those women (and they are all women) who say that I should just enjoy my pregnancy. Riiiight. Enjoy the fact that at any moment the baby might die in some horrible way and there's nothing I can do about it and in fact I won't even find out until the next appointment. A friend suggested I might want a baby shower. She is clearly the stupist fcuk ever. Why would anyone what to get a lot of stuff for a baby who might never get the chance to use it. And wtf would I do with it? Throw it out? Burn it? Give it away to some mom whose baby didn't die? Great idea. Just fuking brilliant.
Well good morning negative, self absorbed, bitter August 9, 2009 9:26 AM, wake on shitty side life today? You not the ONLY one that worries about these things, and yeap I lost a baby and turn around and years later had a baby.
1 You should be glad you have a friend loving enough to throw you shower, but caring enough to ASK you first.
2 If you have a "real" problem with those women who look on positive side of thing, maybe you miss understanding them, maybe in their own way without being rude TO YOU, they are trying to tell you shut up already, your too fricken negative.
3 If you walk around thinking something horrible going to happen, you are attracting that type energy into your life and you will tend to fine people on a daily bases to piss you off. You have choice to live in a clam, loving, surrounding or just be ball big ball bitchness and run in to everything negative.
4 IF (God forbid) something was to happen your child, yes, you can donate you child stuff to Goodwell, there is actual mothers in need of things to take care of their babes.
6 Who in hell married you? Bet you ten dollars in the back his mind he thinking, " What hell did I get myself into".
7 Good luck.
ONE MORE THING
YES, I see all my typos, but I am sure your negative butt will point them ALL out, cause that who you are.
My husband left me and our kids for a younger, prettier, smarter girl. I mean she's 22 years old, no kids, getting her degree, works out all the time and love to go out clubbing and whatever else they do. I can see why he left because really, who wouldn't take the opportunity for a hot young ho. But where does that leave me, 35, celluite, and boring because its my job to take care of the kids while he and his gf party. I feel so worthless. No man would ever want me when they can find a girl life that.
I think DBMs who judge other DBMs for their feelings are pretty non compassionate and disrespectful.
And no, I'm not 8/9 @9:26, and I don't really care about typos.
For Ass Sock Wiper: Gee, instead of "hoping he'll take the hint" by leaving wipes in the bathroom or articles around, how about JUST TALKING TO HIM?
"X, wtf? That's gross! I love you but that's gross! Don't do it! It's a turn off!"
I know...talking to your own life partner, instead of engaging in passive-aggressive little mind games and "hints" you hope he'll pick up on...how novel.
*eyeroll*
I don't have a comment to confess right now, but I do just need to get out a very large sigh.
SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.
I feel better.
I don't think I like my brother. We bring out the worst in each other and it makes me so upset.
Ditto @11:14.
But also, @10:24 & :27, "...attracting that type of energy into your life..." is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. It's nothing but blame the victim bullshit. Feel free to take your "Secret" and shove it up an orifice of your choosing.
No my dear, it not the "Secret" it commences, and I not blaming the "victim" if that what you labile yourself go ahead. Go take another bitter pill, I am going to enjoy my Sunday.
I happen to agree with August 9, 2009 5:16 AM, she right, why be so negative, crap happen in life and it is hard, but that is why it is called life.
How you choose to deal with it is up to you, but most people are sick of people that so negative.
To: August 9, 2009 9:26 AM
She (August 9, 2009 5:16 AM)is not being disrespectful, she pointed out the truth. I guess the truth was to much for you to handle. But most people who are negative cant handle the truth.
I feel my sister too fat and is going die because of it. She 400 lp, and I wish she let us help her, but I dont want to hurt her feelings and bring it up.
August 9, 2009 5:16 AM I agree girl, go an enjoy your Sunday, and I like your typos, :o) it shows we are all human. People like her will never change, you are right she is bitter.
@10:24, 10:27, and now 12:12--
Sarah, is that you? ex-Governor, really, you shouldn't have. I love your rambling poetry as much as the next gal (especially as performed by Shatner), but for the sake of what's left of your career (and my entertainment) you really should think more carefully before exposing your poor reading comprehension skillz so thoroughly. "Ditto" means "the same as stated above or before," which, just to spell it out for you, among other things, means that I wasn't the 9:26 person either.
Wish I could decipher what "it not the "Secret" it commences" might possibly mean. But I live with disappointment every day-- I am sure that in time and with a lot of hard work I will find a way to deal with my apparent failure to understand this particular piece of abstract art too.
And, ex-Gov (can I call you ex-Gov? Sounds macho), just a tip-- when you sockpuppet yourself on an anonimous thread (like you did at 12:18 and 12:24, and instead of enjoying your Sunday like you promised-- tsk, tsk), try to change at least something about your style. Or your reading comprehension. Cause the one at 5:16am? That one was about blow jobs in a moving vehicle.
This too funny, I need popcorn.
Hahaha, now I want 9:26 and 10:24 to come back and inform us that a) 9:26 was a lie, and b) 10:24 was an attempt at irony.
It takes so little to make me have a nice Sunday.
I told my husband I can't deal with the sock/ass wiping anymore! Not in the loving, adult manner in which I should have, more in the icing on top of our fight cake. So it will stop or it will come up in the divorce proceedings. Because I have a habit of once I finally am able to find the words to talk about something that REALLY bothers me, I can't seem to shut up.
shame on all of you
9:26 is going raise her baby to be anger Jr lol.
10:24 hate to say it, but you are right.
As for me, this did make my Sunday! HA Will you guys post anything more? I need something to laugh at.
Here's what I get about the Secret. If you are bitter and negative like myself (oh wait, should that be "I" or maybe "me" I'm sure the grammer police will tell be) then you attract all the negaitve energy to yourself.
So you nonbitter people instead of attacking and hating on me should be kissing my butt. Becuase if I'm attarcting all the negative energy to me (oh, noes!! maybe that is supposed to be I or myself) then there won't be any left for all of the rest of you.
I'm doing you a gd favor so you can just thank me in the next to comments. I didn't really mean it about kissing my butt because I (me? myself?) am not a perv like a lot of the other commenters. Like the one who's husband uses socks for butt plugs. All I have to say is ewww.
When my hubby wipes his ass with his sock I get SOOOO turned on.
Wow, just came back for some good reading and man, the sock ass-wiping thing is SO strange and gross.
I thought I might mention that computers have spellcheck which is the main reason that people who can't spell on the internet look kind of stupid.
Yes, dead baby mommas that like to compare grief really have an issue and it's lame. It's hurts, period. It doesn't hurt less just because you have one that didn't die.
Not so sure about that @5:55. I would never trade my position for someone who had zero living children. At least I have one that's here with me and that's got to be less painful than having none at all.
If I were Niobe, I would end this right now. I enjoyed this feature when it felt like it was intelligent people having fun, but for some reason, it seems to have attracted the kind of internet I want nothing of. I can't handle being in the same room with people who express themselves with such thoughtless, juvenile slobbishness.
And that goes for a minority here, but still... I walk away from this feeling just... ick.
I see died people
I still think of my BFF as my BFF even though she hasn't spoken to me in FOREVER, I'm 30... I have no really good friends and people use me. My husband hates it, but I let it happen, because I don't want to be alone.
Everyone I know who shouldn't have a baby just had one. So I guess I should be honored that we just miscarried, it probably means we're not financially destroyed, living with our in-laws and unemployed.
If you would have apologized, I would have forgiven you... but you just walked away...and now that you're back... I don't even want to admit I used to know you.
I worry that he's not out driving, that instead he's f*cking a co-worker.
I just found out last week that I miscarried. I went for the D&C the next day.
All I could think about when I found out was Niobe. I almost emailed you, but felt like an idiot because my baby died at 7 weeks.
I haven't even suffered enough to feel like I deserved to email you.
August 10, 2009 12:16 AM honey, no one can measure suffing, no pain is less or more. Pain is pain. Send you a hug! Sorry, this is not Niobe posting this, but I am sure she send you a hug too.
I don't return library books...except sometimes the guilt gets better of me & i throw them in the mail (sometimes international) with no return address. Also, i bend rims. But that isn't exactly an anonymous confession since my husband is well aware of this particular issue...like when i returned his new car to him after that roadtrip...let's not mention the speeding tickets (plural), shall we?
@9:21pm
I hear you. I left this feeling sad and ill, too. ugh.
@12:16 this is Niobe. Please, if you think it will help even a little, free free to email me. I realize that there's not much I can do or say, but I promise you will get through this.
No one can take away the pain and it may always hurt, but the hurt will be less sharp over time and, remember, there are many, many people out there (including me) who care about you and mourn your loss with you. Wishing you peace and healing.
When my goddaughter died during birth, I thought that the silver lining was that I was no longer alone in this world, that a good friend of mine would understand my grief and I hers. But I couldn't have been more wrong - she is working through her grief so differently, and I just can't understand her or sympathize at all. And now she wants to have a home birth after two emergency c-sections, where one of her children died and the other was permanently disabled - I just can't comprehend why she would take such chances, knowing full well how awful the outcome can be. She even has a midwife that said she'd let her go to 44 weeks again (she lost her daughter at 43 weeks 6 days). It makes me so angry I can barely even talk to her anymore. I feel so much more alone now than I did before.
Interesting.
This feature ... makes me not want to comment on Niobes regular posts anymore. Sorry Niobe - I don't mean to be rude ... it just makes me feel icky.
I am in an affair, and going through IVF. WIshing I was anywhere but here. And still so much, I want that child.
Niobe is a friend and if it makes you feel icky on that friday dont read them hun. For some of us, it does help to get thing out and to fine out other out there and we not alone.
Anyone who doesn't like to read these confessions needs to not read them. Don't be rude to Niobe. Get over yourself and just don't read it. What makes ME feel icky is that you feel the need to read all these comments and THEN judge. So lame. This is the 3rd installment of this. Didn't you realize you didn't like it after the first time? You just showed how hippocritical you are by reading this one again. Get a life.
I agree. The point of this feature is to confess; not to judge. This isn't Jerry Springer.
AMEN
I hate my sister-in-law. She deliberately got pregnant at 18 so she could go on welfare and not have to work anymore. We were pregnant at the same time, within 2 weeks of each other in fact, but I had a miscarriage and she got a live baby. Now she brings her daughter on drug deals "because having a baby in the car defuses suspicion!". Bitch. I have dreams of kidnapping her perfect daughter and raising her as my own.
Anon @1:41 sounds like a call to DSS or child welfare (or whatever it's called in your state/province) might be in order.
You can do it anonymously and if they confirm she's bringing the kid on drug deals they may very well take the baby away so fast her head will spin. And as a relative, you might be able to foster the child.
(unless this is one of those made up confessions and, if so, ignore everything I just said)
@11:36am-8:25pm:
you know, one can confess without having to be all trashy/Jerry Springer. I'm not opposed to the confessions. I'm opposed to trashy AND judgemental lame people who muck up a perfectly intelligent blog/comment line.
My baby is 7 months old and I want to get pregnant again. Another pregnancy so soon will land me in a wheelchair.
I still want another baby. If only it were that easy.
I had a miscarriage on Thursday. I feel like I'll never be happy again. I hate everyone.
I hate one of my sister-in-laws and her husband. They treated their sweet and gentle son like shit until he died as a teenager a few years back, while their daughter, who is just like them, was always like spun gold to them. Now their guilt and fury at themselves and the world have taken their already caustic personalities and made them act out constantly, willfully taking things that people say and twisting them around to pick a fight. I want to scream at them, you were terrible parents, and now it's too late, and treating everyone else like shit isn't going to make it better, or bring him back. You didn't deserve him in the first place. Now they've had two other babies, more twins, even though they're going to be eligible for social security by the time the kids graduate high school, and it makes me furious that not only have they been given another chance when other, better people, have been denied, but they're even more volitile than they were before. What kind of environment is this to raise kids in?! They, particularly the father, snap on a dime and start yelling and saying the cruelest things to whomever is nearby. I hope they learn to deal with themselves and their emotions before the babies are old enough to become a focus of their wrath. Meanwhile, the family continues to give them things, and drop everything to help with the new babies, and take the abuse, without saying a thing, and with never a thank you offerend. Not me, not anymore. I was close to their son, and I miss him horribly, but I'm done with his parents. Done. I can't help them, they won't help themselves, and I'm not going to be their abuse receptacle anymore.
I am going through IVF, our last frozen transfer in July failed again. My partner says I can only attempt this one more time and that if it doesn't work we're done. We have 6 snowbabies left. Technically we can try a frozen 2 more times after this attempt. If it doesn't work again, I have daydreams of secretly going ahead with another transfer behind her back and dealing with the consequences later. She can't possibly want this as much as I do if she's willing to give up.
I eat babies while laughing at other peoples confessions
I eat babies while laughing at other peoples confessions
There is a Dead Baby Blogger who I do not believe; who I think is lying.
I think I am a terrible person for believing this, but there it is.
@ September 2 - you are not alone.
@September 2 @September 3
Ditto. Except I don't feel like a terrible person for disbelieving their story. I feel like a terrible person for not telling everyone my suspicions.
I want to tell my suspicions about @ September 2s blog, too. From the second I read it, I thought - this is so, totally, totally made up. And I resent it.
Ugh, I am so glad I'm not the only person who thinks it's completely faked. So glad. I felt evil because I thought it right away.
I can't help but wonder if all of us are thinking of the exact same blog. I wish there was a way of finding out if we were, and finding out if our suspicions are correct. I am not out for a witch hunt; I just don't want people who are suffering and in pain to be duped. I don't want all of these real stories to be alongside something that I think is a lie. It takes something away.
Just adding my uncomfortable agreement to the blogger that appears to be fabricating at least some of her story. I've already had discussions with a half-dozen bloggers, each of whom have had the same with others, coming to the same conclusion, and for varied reasons.
What to do? Damned if I know. I can't stand this sensation of doubt. But I also can't stand the prospect of someone adding more angst to this community than we already have, for the sake of attention or gain. That makes my doubt and sadness and confusion turn to something more like anger on behalf of all of us.
The only thing that's constant, no matter what the truth? Pity.
To Sept. 6 @ 5:32: yep. We're all thinking of the same blog.
As badly as I feel for thinking it to be a fraud, I think it'd actually feel worse if I found out that it was.
Everyone I have emailed with thinks something is absolutely off about this story. The voice. The medical information. Hoping the truth comes out in the end.
It does feel off, but I have to say that I've done some investigating and everything seems to check out. And yet it's so inauthentic. I don't know what to think anymore.
I've done a fair amount of investigation myself, lotsa smoke, no smoking gun. But you're right @4:28, there's so much that's inconsistent, miraculous, and just plain goofy.
I was waiting for the confessions post for this very reason. I thought someone might bring it up.
So how does one do investigating? Can you share what you mean by that? I'm just perplexed as to how any truth can be discovered. Does anyone know anyone who knows the family in real life?
They're using their real name according to a google search. Seems unlikely they would risk real life people finding the blog if it were lies.
He is a testicular cancer survivor. So their pregnancies, according to them, were statistical anomalies. Then they had statistical anomalies by losing their children in the ways they did. It makes more sense that they are lying than lightning striking three times times three.
Four actually; I found a comment by her elsewhere claiming to have had a mc shortly (a bit too shortly for my medical taste, but I suppose plausible) after the death of child #2.
I've felt sick about the possibility that this community is being taken/abused since reading last week's developments. I don't want to be right. But I also don't want to let this fester if all of us are right.
So then... questions answers to which might help us figure it out:
-what's on their public FB pages? What information can be seen by their employers/random acquaintances?
-is it even possible to remain in the hospital 3 days after uncomplicated vaginal delivery in that country?
-is it common in that country for a policeman to deliver preliminary autopsy results if there is no active investigation?
Other questions out there?
Here's my question, and I have concern for her regardless of the truth of the story. Does she read Niobe?
They each have less than 50 FB friends. Many seem to be from babyloss land.
Those are good questions. I'd add, for speculation by medical professionals: what's the likelihood that after multiple losses, a mother and baby would be left unattended for an entire night with no monitoring, and no testing, no NICU stay? Would the medical community, given that situation, stand back and shrug and say "all healthy" and not do anything to watch subsequent children like hawks?
Also to add: that was me posting at 4:59, concerned for her possibly seeing this. And then that was me at 5:03 calling her into question. Jesus, this sucks. This is an impossible hurt no matter what comes to light.
I saw her or him say on their blog that they were already cleared on the police investigation, but on another, they don't know what killed the baby. How can that be?
I think it might just be him
When I read comments like the ones above, I am afraid people will sometimes think I am also a faker because of my string of bad baby luck.
Oh, Anon 5:541pm, I think this story has more wrong with it than a string of bad luck. Many hugs to you.
just another one chiming in to say that if not all, at least some of this story mustn't be true. it couldn't all be, could it? because if it is, it is horrifying to think lightning can keep striking like that. the more questions i have, the more questions it brings up and now stumbling across this i have more questions yet again. could the baby even still be alive i wonder? the mind really does boggle.....
Well now I just desperately want to know who you all are talking about.
Can you whisper it? Spell it out? Say it in pig latin?
I don't want to butt in on anyone else's business...but I'd hate to think I read this blog an am being taken advantage of emotionally.
@6.52 - Honestly, I think it would be obvious to you by now if you did read the blog. All I'll sayis that it's rocked the babyloss blog world because it's such a sad story and you'll see evidence the outpouring of grief of it on loads of blogs.
wow you guys are sick.
I hope I'm not being naive. I worked with a nurse who had lost two babies to SIDS and I suspected this was a related issue.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who is thinking this.
I can't tell what I hope for more though, if it's a true story, then it's devistating for them, if it's false... well then it's still sad for them, but even more sad for what it does to the rest of the community.
number three, I don't know, something about number three doesn't seem right...
We are sick?!
As a community, I think we have a right to question the validity of something so unlikely, so dramatic, so very textbook Munchausen by Internet. We are emotionally invested in their story, and we deserve some answers. When someone questioned them, they threatened them with death. Whatever is going on over there is very dark indeed.
what makes me question, is how "smoothly" the blog moved from 2 losses to 3. It was the same day the thrid loss was announced that the side bar was changed, and the "about me section" was also changed rather quickly.
There could be reason for this, as in, they were mentally preparing for this as they had already been through loss before, or well, it could be... man I don't even want to go there.
But I agree with you, it just feels, off.
Okay. I think I know who it is now.
I had these thoughts, mainly based on "what are the odds?" but I decided that I would infinitely prefer to support someone who is lying instead of doubting someone who is telling the truth.
Besides, with all the millions of people in the world, the odds are that yes, someone could have this much bad luck. Lightning does strike the same place. And then sometimes there is an earthquake there too.
@8:06
I do not feel that I am "sick" because I want to protect myself and my friends, and make sure we are not being emotionally manipulated and deceived. In the fragile emotional state of what many of us have been through, I think it is normal and okay to question things and to not want to be sucked in or taken advantage of. Some people lie; it is sick and very sad but we've all found it to be true so if something sounds off I don't think it's wrong to question. But of course that is just my opinion.
This is such a tough one - do we want it to be true, or not true? The story is horrifying and the odds are even more horrifying. But yet we all know people who have suffered tremendously in this community. And yet there is just something not quite right with the latest.
I hope she is not reading this, because it is awful to be doubted. Awful. And in this case, at least, there appears to be no financial fraud - no $$, no donations, no gifts - which makes me less inclined to think there should be some digging.
Based on the past uncovered frauds, it's always seemed someone who was brought in very close has to be a key player in uncovering the truth. And there has to be a place to share information - I have been wondering if it makes sense to contact the blog that has uncovered two recent frauds (April Rose and another previously)? Whoever that is worked with folks close to the April Rose situation and helped put all the pieces together.
There's another family that lives near them.
What if, they did have three tragedies in a row? How would you feel knowing that you blamed and judged them? How about, since they are not asking for money and don't seem to be exploiting anyone, leave them to grieve in peace and give people the benefit of the doubt.
Is it truly your place to judge or second guess. Are you perfect by any standard?
I"m the 9:16 who said there seemed to be no financial fraud. But to respond to 10:34 - there is such a thing as emotional fraud. This is really an awful thing. I don't think anyone is gleefully or maliciously judging or blaming. But given frauds of the past, it's not a terrible thing to have doubts.
Some of these people seem to want it to be some scandal. It makes them feel safe to believe that something that sad is impossible without foul play.
Shit happens. Sometimes three times over...
Now that's funny, 11:47, really funny. Because "safe" is really not something many in this community are likely to feel. Anytime soon, or ever.
Some of us have been around long enough to remember bloggers who have buried or cremated more than three children. Those bloggers never elicited this kind of a reaction. It's not the number that is causing disbelief. It's many-many other things.
Anyone else notice that in the pictures of the baby he is in the same pose each time? Almost like those "real newborn" dolls?
I agree, not looking for a scandal, it just feels a bit "off" and I can't quite put my finger on why.
I hope for everyone who's shed tears and invested emotionally that it isn't false, but on the other hand, if it's true, then uggg, terrible.
As the mother of a children with the same inherited disease (autosomal dominant) that has been in my family for generations and that was not "discovered" until 2007 I think that we need to be very careful about casting aspersions about this family.
They have suffered 3 great losses and it may be may each child had a inherited disease that caused their death. Medicine is not infallible, as most of us have discovered. It was only 40 years ago that science thought that schizophrenia was caused by an overbearing mother. Much is still unknown about the very rare diseases. I think that we owe her and her family the same benefit of doubt that we would want if we were in the same very sad situation.
@ September 7/9.16pm, this site has had involvement in April Rose and other frauds:
http://exposetrolls.blogspot.com/
Doesn't seem to be a $$ fraud from the bits and pieces I have read, but then I think one post did say that anyone who wanted their address to send things (or money I guess?) could have it.
I'm sure dozens would have asked for it and I'm sure many would have already sent things on.
But like others said, the emotional fraud is just as bad here, if not worse.
I believed it til the 3rd one died. Now I believe either a) fake or b) post-partum depression/munchausen's (she killed them or he did). The only question I have about option a) is: I could easily swallow a woman posing with dolls/other people's children etc., but getting a man to do it as well? Unless she's stealing someone else's photos (a friend/relative's) who had children and whose children are likely still living, and is passing them off as hers?
Either way, I was looking forward to her blog becoming less gloomy and more hopeful with the birth of her son, but now I debate removing it from the blogroll every time I read it since it's sooo sad. Now I will at least keep reading it, if only to see what happens.
@ 2.42 She's using her real name and when I googled her I found a work photo of her next to her work contact details. The name matches the pics.
Even though the blog is written by 2 people they both seem to write in the same voice. What if it's just him, not her? It would be easy to co-opt your partner's identity. They have never put up photos of their children after they died, which I know some people don't, but it doesn't seem likely that they wouldn't. They emphasize every other aspect of their tragedy. Perhaps the babies exist but aren't dead? Perhaps the first 2 died, but not the 3rd?
Although it does seem very risky to use real names if it isn't true. Which makes me think it must be. which makes me feel like such a bitch for even contemplating this.
i too had wondered if #3 wasn't dead? all too convenient now they are taking a vacation - how will we ever know? seems entirely possible 1 and 2 did die but they felt they never got enough sympathy, so they concocted this elaborate story as a way of getting more sympathy and attention and making up for what they felt like they were missing out on the first two times. i really feel for them right now, whatever the truth may be. that's the risk people take sharing a story so openly like this.
Just makes me dizzy and I no longer know what to believe. How does this happen to one family in three 'different' ways? How does a 'healthy' baby die AT THE HOSPITAL at three days old? Obviously we don't know all the medical details, and maybe their deaths are related to some undetected rare genetic condition, but when I shared this story with someone in the OB medical field this week, their first reaction was something to the effect of someones identity being defined as that of a grieving parent and needing to do anything they can to maintain that.
There are internet 'evidences' of their previous losses - going back years, so that seems to check out, and they appear to be using real names but I just don't understand this at all.
And why did GITW pull down their post about them?
"I want to spit in their faces"
"Thirdly, to the bitch from hell who said in a comment on this blog recently that it was obvious to her that I had killed my own children - I hope you die a particularly long and painful death."
"or they will become a murder victim themselves, and it will be a competition between Mirne and myself as to who gets to kill them first!"
Lovely.
My concerns are not for this couple - they are obviously receiving support on their blog.
I do not believe them.
I just cannot understand all the blog post updates - all the facebook updates and who updates a ticker the day after their 3rd baby dies?
How is she not in hospital under sedation I will never know. How is she writing the way she is? I would be drowning not updating my blog.
She writes she was grumpy from being up all night with her son and yet she says that he died between 2am and 6:30am. How is that up all night? Thats a damn good sleep in a new parents books.
My concerns whether this is true or not are for all the baby lost community who are emotionally invested. So many of the people that read her blog are currently pregnant with their second baby. Her blog whether true or not is toxic for women trying have another baby.
I am the OP who started this whole kerfuffle on here.
Please believe me when I say I am not gleeful, not hoping for a scandal, and did not try to stir up some drama because I am bored.
I also do not feel like a bad person because I sometimes question things in order to protect myself from being -- what did someone say -- emotionally duped? I personally feel it's okay to want to take care of myself in this way. To each their own.
I do not doubt this story because of the tragic, magic number of three. There is so much more about it that I can't put my finger on but that is just screaming to me "Something is off!"
I did not read "April Rose" although I heard about it, and in all my years of blogging (since early 2001) have never had such a deep, resounding gut reaction that something is wrong with a story the way I have with this blog.
I'm sorry I'm not the only one questioning this but glad, also. I feel less nuts and less alone, and more like I need to learn to trust my instincts.
Like so many here I have fretted about the veracity of this blog. Whilst the person in question is indeed on leave from work, her work also thought it "strange" no notices were posted about this baby.
And the thing that puzzles me the most: "I was grumpy after having been awake with him all night." Seriously? After multiple losses, you are grumpy because you didn't get much sleep. Why on earth would sleep matter?
And then you say, your breasts hurt because your milk was coming in. How could you have slept for that long then?and isn't that very early for mil to be coming in anyway?
And why in the name of all that is holy (and unholy) for that matter wasn't this baby being closely monitored?
Has anyone been able to see if the gravestone pictures do show the names of the previous babies?
I have a bunch of questions about the whole tragic story. I can't ask them on the blog obviously because I'll be threatened with death.
I only hope no innocent baby lost their life in the making of her blog and constant facebook updates.
GITW pulled the post, apparently, because they never felt comfortable with singling out one family for condolences. They felt they'd sent people Mirne and Craig's way but didn't intent to set a precedent, and so the post was taken down once it was bumped down.
I know this is wrong of me because everyone grieves differently, but I wouldn't be able to leave my bed for two months; I wouldn't be constantly updating Facebook and making new tickers the very day after my third son died.
I am being anonymous here because she is scary! She threatens people who questions her! I would not do that!
I am so relieved to have come across this and not feel like I am the only one! I thought I was the most terrible person for having doubts. Last night, I looked at their Facebook accounts and googled their names, reading old posts and comments for clues (were the pregnancy photos staged?) like some amateur Private Detective. But you're right. Something just feels off. The voice, the timing, the confusion over autopsy results. An now I don't know what to think. If it is true, and it could well be, I will truly feel despicable for doubting this poor couple...
I agree with @2.42 who said that even though they both write, and they often change the font, to me it sounds like the same voice with the same tics and mannerisms.
I can sort of believe that you would want to update your blog as soon as, to let people know before the cards arrive, and really who are we to judge on when is the right time - some people need to write, to get it out no matter what hell they are going through, but I agree the sidebar updates and ticker just felt too soon, too automatic. They were the only ones at the crematorium, they say.
Also, they/she/he have been reading other blogs and commenting since it happened which makes me think they're almost patrolling for suspicion. Beware!!
On a practical note, can you just leave the country? Can you perform a cremation when there's ongoing autopsy results?
I found a forum where people were discussing what to give them, where to send money, paypal etc but I don't think that's the reason. I think it is much more likely to me some sort of terrible, pitiful, warped attention thing.
There was such an outpouring when it happened because it shook people to the very core and questioned people's faith, that if it turns out not to be true it will be such a cruel betrayal of the whole babyloss community.
@9/8 1:00 a.m.: I am so sorry for your losses. You're right, this could indeed be an inherited disorder, for there are many recessive and dominant ones that could play out like this. However, I don't think the words "autosomal dominant" even appear in her blog -- I get the feeling this isn't on their radar. They may be getting extremely crappy medical advice, I suppose.
@ 9/8 6:32 a.m.: Wow, I've had her work number but haven't called. Curious, did they verify that she was in fact pregnant?
Sorry, that's me at 8:38 a.m., and reading back to you 1:00 a.m., just realized you said they inherited it, but were not deceased. My apologies. Although the rest of my concern still stands.
My confession: I'm completely fascinated by internet train-wrecks like this. I never read this blog, but now I'm off to learn all about it.
In my defense, I don't have a television.
I'm relieved to read that I'm not the only one with doubts. I spent all week wondering if I should email someone who has responded to her blog, someone who seems sane and reasonable and who has also suffered the death of her child, and just ask... but it seemed perhaps cruel of me to do that and I didn't want to hurt the person I would have asked by asking. (This person does not know me!) I have searched the internet... message boards, other blogs, looking for posts from people who know them, who know what happened... or at least from people like me who feared that something false or worse, evil was afoot. It sounds so dramatic, but there is a part of me that can't shake the fear... "Oh my God, what if she/he/they killed the babies?!"
I never thought to come here. I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking this feels "off," but... well. Well I guess it's completely awful either way.
I have been reading and commenting on her blog. I am very surprised to see this discussion here.
Apart from my expectation that there would be a post at any minute that says "Gotcha" I didn't ever consider that this was untrue.
I believed the baby was about to arrive, there were pregnancy photos posted in the last few weeks, the tone of comments she left on other peoples blogs became softer and more loving during those last weeks too, the tone definitely became very lovey and nice. I still have feelings of disbelief which I think arise from shock and denial.
But I must say my initial thought was along the lines of, "thank God it happened in the hospital, nobody can point the finger at the parents". But then that is not really a barrier if you are motivated.
I don't want to jump on the band wagon, but here is the place to tell it like it is. I just thought I was coldhearted to come to a conclusion like that.
Honestly, I had never read her before until a different person on my blogroll (not Niobe) posted a link to her/their blog and a post about the third loss. I started reading from the beginning of their posts and to me it all seems a little too matter of fact. Every single post about being pregnant seems to be negative, almost like she KNEW the third wasn't going to make it. In every post that she talks about other people saying "congratulations" and such, she responds with something negative about the baby dying.
Now I understand about being negative, I've experienced babyloss myself, but you'd think she might have had one positive/hopeful thought at some point. It just seems staged, like she already knew it was coming. I sincerely hope that nothing bad happened to a real baby.. The thought that she may have actually been pregnant and done something to the baby to get attention is rather sickening.
But to those who say there's something off, I see what you mean entirely. Something just doesn't seem right about this whole thing.
Someone with the same name and in the same area was writing restaurant reviews and talking about how much wine they drank two days before the 'birth'. Coincidence?
I hoped I would find somewhere where someone was talking about this. I have no clue if it is true or not, but how I wish it wasn't true.
What I don't understand is how she managed to post about his death on the very day that it happened.. I think most people would be a bit overcome with grief, and the first thought would likely not be "well I had better go blog about this and update my sidebar & profile". One would think they might pause a moment to grieve before sharing this news with the blogosphere. And doesn't this bit just strike you as a bit contrived?:
"I hope that you will all mourn our loss with us. That you will forever remember our ***, our third child, our second son, brother to **** and ******. Son to M**** and C****. Cousin, nephew, grandson. Much loved and much wanted. Forever remembered. Forever missed."
That just seems a bit too well worded for someone who just lost a baby that very same morning. It looks like an epitaph or a eulogy.
(I took out their names obviously)
I took the time to read her blog from start to finish and while she does write in a style that is at times confrontational, perhaps this has to do with her being a lawyer. As a medical professional I did find that she seems to be in denial that these deaths could be linked to a single cause. Her first loss was possibly due to an infection that could have then caused the death of her next two children, if untreated in the mother it can colonize and be passed to the infant during birth or later during nursing or just close contact. Or it could be that she and her husband have passed on the genes for an inborn error of metabolism. According to the Columbia University Medical Cener website 1 in 3000 babies is born with such a disease. many are rare and fatal and if undiagnosed are attributed to other causes of death or SIDS.
As for the death in the hospital, it may be that the baby and his parents were under observation already and that is why they were still there 3 days after his birth. Having worked postpartum before, a woman with 2 losses would be considered high risk and may be kept longer just to observe the baby.
It is also not unusual to release the body so quickly after a death, all the samples and slides were taken during the postmortem so there is no need to keep the body.
I believe that her adding and updating her blog and facebook etc is a coping mechanism and that we all grieve in our own way. Regardless of what we think may be going on, we do not know exactly what has happened.
I know that when my daughter died I minimized my grief and "carried on" because I was not sure what kind of support I would get from my family and friends. I have now found that support here and am starting to heal. Imagine how you would feel if suddenly those that you counted on to support you suddenly questioned what happened during the death of your child or God forbid, your children.
I am just saying that we need to be very, very careful.
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