Wednesday, December 2, 2009

commuting

Driving home in the dark, the radio on, the baby asleep in the back seat is when I think about, well, things. And what I was thinking about tonight was this: I've done a lot of really stupid things in my life. And (in what would be a substantially, but not completely overlapping circle in a Venn diagram) I've done a lot of things that I'm very sorry I did. And most of them were the direct and wholly foreseeable result of saying maybe when I should have said no

19 comments:

Jen said...

Yes.

Adding that learning to say no to others (and myself) is an extremely valuable skill to possess. Unfortunately, it is intermittent.

Tash said...

Shit, I have years of my life when I should gone with maybe. Would've saved a lot of people (me, really) a lot of time and trouble.

TracyOC said...

I tend to have the opposite problem. I'm really good at no and terrible at maybe.

This post also reminded me that I have a semi-hilarious story about a room full of 8th grade boys and a Venn diagram gone horribly wrong...a minor regret but a regret all the same.

areyoukiddingme said...

Commuting does give you time to think about things, doesn't it?

My problem is sort of the opposite...my life is so tame because I say no instead of maybe.

antropologa said...

I do too much yes. Wearing me down.

amazingk8 said...

I TOTALLY get that.

angie said...

I spent my youth saying, "Sure. Why not? Might make a good story one day." Now, I spend my old age realizing I cannot tell half of the sordid stories that sprang from those why nots. *sigh*

Magpie said...

maybe is what you say when you're trying to please someone by not saying no.

painted maypole said...

oh, yes. this resonates hugely with me. as does magpie's comment.

Kristin said...

I need to learn to be better at saying no.

Smiling said...

Excellent point.. I regret the maybes, only the yes that were coerced out of maybes, and very few nos. I'm getting better and better and knowing if it is a yes or no, and maybe one day I can consistently speak my own truth.

thanks for getting me thinking.

loribeth said...

I'm not very good at saying "no" too. I wish were more assertive sometimes.

niobe said...

Magpie: So very true. And the person I was mostly trying to please was myself.

niobe said...

@TracieOC: And, after that tantalizing intro, you're going to tell us the story, aren't you? How about if I say pretty please?

leanne said...

What Magpie said.

christina(apronstrings) said...

Learning to say no instead of maybe made my thirties much more enjoyable.

Melissa said...

@Angie I am right there with you.

Anonymous said...

One of the nice things about getting on in years is that it gets easier to say no... because we've learnt from our maybes.
allypally

passingwindows said...

Oh that commute, I do a lot of thinking during it as well. And mostly dark thoughts.

I am shocking at saying no, but I'm learning.