prepared

I clicked over to Trish's blog, the way I do pretty much every day, looked at the baby-ticker-thing and realized that tomorrow will be (gulp) 33 weeks. Now, if this were a less, I dunno, fraught pregnancy, I probably would have gone out and bought some adorable infant-related stuff. As it is, I haven't gotten anything. Not one thing.*

But I didn't get anything for Cole before he arrived either and, although I had to run out of the hospital to pick up a car seat and some clothes and he slept in a laundry basket for the first few nights at home, it seemed to work out just fine.

So, when people ask me what they need to do to get ready for a new baby, I tell them "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." Though, as usual, your mileage may vary.




*Okay. I'll confess. I got two things. Namely, two little pink outfits that I bought right after the 20-week ultrasound and left with Trish. But they're not in my house, so they don't really count, right?

listen to the music

It's gotten over eight million views on YouTube, but if you’re prone to night terrors, I can’t in good conscience recommend this Indian kids video. It’s an oddly animated, strangely authoritarian-sounding rendition of a creepy, yet catchy, song. And, despite the title, it doesn't resemble any nursery rhyme I’ve ever heard.

It’s definitely not safe for work. But only because if they hear it (and it is LOUD), your coworkers will think you’ve gone off the deep end.

Also. Is anyone else troubled by the fact that, while the characters are named Rhyme Man, Rhyma and Rhymey, there isn’t a single rhyme in the entire thing?

p.s. Cole loved it.

idle musings

Yesterday, I was sick. Sick in a unpleasantly kind of all-inclusive way that left me lying in bed, barely able to whimper and feeling rather like Death Warmed Over. Which, it suddenly occurred to me, would be an absolutely perfect name for a flourless chocolate torte – a kind of riff on the ubiquitous Death by Chocolate theme.

Since the vast majority of my flashes of inspiration have already been preempted, I weakly lifted my head from my pillow and googled the phrase. And while, strangely enough. I failed to find a dessert by that name, I did come across a “unique”* book entitled Death Warmed Over.

At least according to the reviews, Death Warmed Over is a combination catalogue of funeral rituals of various cultures (conveniently listed alphabetically from African-American to Zoroastrian) and cookbook, featuring such useful tidbits as whether it’s appropriate to serve chocolate caskets and skull-shaped cakes at a wake (my guess would be no) and how to make a Funeral Pie (a recipe that rather creepily includes chocolate-covered gummy people).

Which is to say that, if you’re trying to think of a name for your molten chocolate cake creation, Death Warmed Over still seems to be available. You’re very welcome.

And what brilliant ideas have you been having lately?




*It only qualifies as “unique” because I also found the remarkably similar-sounding Food to Die For -- a cookbook offering “a lighthearted look at funeral customs, old and new,” “practical advice for writing obituaries and condolence notes” and instructions for making a gingerbread house. (yeah, I don’t get it either).

fishing for carp

                                                                                                                     (photo by Gray)

Thanks so, so much for enabling supporting me.  I'm feeling much better and everything will work out and, though it may not be immediately obvious from the general tenor and content of this blog, I don't actually enjoy being all whiny.  Really.  I swear. 

Which brings us to the fascinating (well, to me, anyway) question of whine v. whinge.  Apparently (at least according to the first few google results I looked at) whine derives from the Old English verb, hwinan, meaning "to make a humming or whirring sound," while, in contrast, whinge comes from the extremely closely related Old English verb, hwinsian, meaning (no surprise here) "to wail or moan discontentedly."  

Of course, the main difference is that whinge, was, until quite recently, a mostly non-US usage. Though these days you hear it more and more from the same Anglophile types who say things like presently instead of soon and holiday instead of vacation.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, misery loves company, so I'm thinking we should have a contest for best whin(g)es.  And by best I mean something like loudest or most creative or most trivial or most disproportionate to the thing complained about. 

So leave your whiniest whines in the comments and help me pick the winners  Bonus points for a complaint that is, itself, annoying.

Whin(g)e away. 

in which niobe sulks

(photo by Gray)

I know I'm going to regret posting this.  In fact, I already do.  And let me preface it by saying that I realize that there are far, far worse problems to have and that I should probably just shut up and be grateful.  However, consider the following, purely hypothetical scenario:

Imagine that in approximately eight weeks (thanks to a wonderful surrogate named, say, Trish) you were expecting a, y'know, baby.  And, because Trish lived relatively far away and you wanted to be there when the hypothetical baby was born, you asked your parents to babysit your equally hypothetical toddler for a couple of days.

Under those circumstances: would it slightly annoy you if your parents refused to babysit because, on one of the nights that you'd be away, they had tickets to a play?  You know, hypothetically?


eta:  And feel absolutely free to suggest which variety of cheese would best complement my whine.

arabesques

Gray is still touring round Spain. He sends me the above photos (of the Alhambra), tells me that he went to a Visigothic mass at the cathedral of Toledo and provides the following explanation:

The Visigothic mass (also known as the Toledan or Mozarabic rite) is the old Spanish form of the Catholic mass, used by the Mozarabic Christians of Toledo under Muslim rule. In 1085, when the Christians reconquered Toledo, they had to choose whether to switch to the standard Roman mass or continue the traditional Mozarabic one. They put the issue to a trial by fire.

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia: “The two books were thrown into a fire. By the time the Roman book was consumed, the Toledan was little damaged. No one who has seen a Mozarabic manuscript, with its extraordinarily solid vellum, will adopt any hypothesis of Divine interposition here.”

Sometimes Gray is so like me that I wonder if I somehow accidentally cloned myself.

my secret valentine

palm autopilot

And what's written on your hand today?

Let us know in the comments or leave a link to your blog if you're posting a picture.

fight fiercely, team!

I hear there's some sort of athletic event occurring later this evening. Likely, I'll be wheezing and sniffling while trying to sleep off my recent Theraflu binge.

But who are you rooting for?


eta: and thanks so much for the many compliments on the exceptional cuteness that is Cole!

ring of truth

While things may be different in other worlds, here's the way it works in this one: the only person you can count on is yourself.

and according to the random number generator...

the winners are...

mfa mama

and

ally pally

Congratulations to the lucky winners (who just need to let me know what email address they'd like to have their prizes sent to)

Thanks to everyone for playing!

And may the random number generator smile on you the next time round.

the finalists

Drumroll, please. The finalists, all of whom picked the correct hockey player out of the line up are:

meg
carla
mfa mama
lizard bits
magpie
lindsay
girl in the glen
two hands
the nanny
ally pally

honorable mention to:

trish (on behalf of the baby) since she has the advantage of actually having met L.

Winners to be announced shortly....

the answer

To this question. Did you guess correctly?

Winners to be announced later today. Stay tuned.

funnel vision

Look, I make every effort to do the hands off, detachment parenting thing. But even I have my limits.

So when I ask what Gray what he's doing in Spain and he responds by emailing me the above picture, I feel like it may be time to have a serious talk with him.

Because, honestly, the composition and framing are atrocious.