over and over

Admittedly, this is not exactly one of the great issues of our time. But still.

There's this blog that I've read for a while, though I don't think I've ever commented on it. However, for a variety of reasons (though, honestly, I don't feel that strongly about it) I would, on balance, prefer to stop reading. In theory, that's easy enough to do. I just need to unsubscribe from that particular feed. Which I've done. Over and over again.

In fact, pretty much every day, I unsubscribe and pretty much every day, I magically, inexplicably, get resubscribed. I'm beginning to feel a little like Penelope (who, you probably recall, wove a shroud every day and unravelled it every night). Although, of course, Penelope was doing it on purpose.

So, o internets, how should I interpret this? What is this a metaphor for? Or, to put it another way, what message is the universe is trying to send me?

better all the time

I sometimes look back and think that I've come an awfully long way since those long-ago days when I started this blog and basically spent my time bleeding all over the screen. For the most part, time has worn away my sorrow, a snake shedding its skin. But I'm acutely aware of the things I still haven't done, still can't quite manage. The short list:

• reconnect with my stepbrother and his wife, who, though they live in the same city as me, I haven't spoken to in over two years. Finally get up the courage to meet their two-year-old daughter, who's exactly the same age that the twins would have been.



• read blogs featuring twin pregnancies. It hurts a lot less once someone else's twins are born and it doesn't bother me at all once someone else's twins are no longer tiny babies, more than, say, six months old. But I can't handle twin pregnancies.



• Run into Sarah or Steve accidentally (something that happens maybe once a year) or, more realistically, imagine running into Sarah or Steve accidentally without feeling like something inside me has been caught in a vise.
  

What are your limitations? What can't you quite bring yourself to do -- yet or

maybe ever?

spring forward

First weekend that actually felt like spring. First iced latte of the season. First afternoon barefoot on the back porch. First cookout. First night with the windows open.

And first morning at work with the air conditioning blasting and me sitting at my desk, wrapped in a coat and scarf, looking at the beautiful day on the other side of the window.

piet and re-piet

Piet Mondrian is one of those iconic modern artists, with instantly recognizable compositions consisting of grids of dark lines enclosing fields of white and eye-catching primary colors. A complicated theoretical apparatus underlies these paintings, involving evolution towards higher planes of being and seeing and the quest for an art more real than reality itself. Mondrian took this all very seriously, so much so that when his friend and collaborator, Theo van Doesburg, introduced diagonal lines into his compositions, Mondrian reportedly never forgave him.

The picture above, however, isn't actually a Mondrian. In fact, it's supposed to be a picture of, well, me. And, oddly enough, I think it pretty much captures my physical and spiritual essence. If you'd like to create your very own personal modern art masterpiece, just go to this this site, answer a few basic questions about yourself and voilà! the portrait of you that Mondrian probably would have painted if only he'd had the chance.

If you post your Mondrian-esque picture on your own blog, please leave a note and/or a link in the comments so everyone will get a chance to admire it.


Be sure to check out these fab faux Mondrians:
Yolanda
Deshaine
Amelie
Which Box
Ms. Bri
Diana J
Kristin
Kym
Caro
K
Marin
Superlagirl
eep
Magpie
Ya Chun
Erica
Donna
Artblog
Melissa

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In comments, Ya Chun asks how to save the picture. Since I just discovered how to do this relatively recently myself, I thought I'd share my newly-acquired knowledge. What you need to do is to take a screen shot. Just follow the directions below, depending on what kind of computer you're using and the picture will be saved as a file on your computer.
MAC
1. Press COMMAND+SHIFT+4
2. A little cross curor will appear. Holding down the mouse button, drag to select the part of the screen you want. When you release the button the screenshot will snap a picture of that part of the screen and save it as a file on your desktop

WINDOWS
1. Click the window you want to capture. Press ALT+PRINT SCREEN by holding down the ALT key and then pressing the PRINT SCREEN key. The PRINT SCREEN key is near the upper right corner of your keyboard and may be labed PrSCR or something similar.
2. Click Start, click Accessories, and then click Paint.
3. Go to the Edit menu and choose Paste.
4. Go to the File Menu and choose Save As.
5. Type in a name for the file
6. Click the Save button.

caveat lector

If you'd like to hang on to your belief in the fundamental goodness of human nature (fortunately, I misplaced the last tattered remnants of my own a while back), don't read the comments to the previous post. Just don't.

not exactly

I suppose that most people are fairly honest, but I've always been fascinated by the few who, well, lie. Especially those who spin elaborate webs of public deception. In the last few months, I've noticed a couple of incidents in which people online have pretended to have lost children, leaving the people who believed and befriended them feeling shocked and betrayed.

One of the most famous internet hoaxes occurred about seven or eight years ago, back when blogs were still a relatively new and exotic phenomenon. Kaycee Nicole, purportedly a college student, kept a cheerful inspirational blog called In Living Colour, describing her ongoing battle with leukemia. Kaycee's mom, Debbie, started a companion blog, sharing her feelings about taking care of her desperately ill daughter. Kaycee and Debbie attracted a huge following, fans who sent cards, gifts and contributions.

After spending several years in treatments of various kinds, all of which were described in vivid detail on the blogs, Kaycee seemed to have finally beaten the cancer. Debbie wrote a touching Mother's Day post expressing her joy. However, the very next day, Debbie reported that Kaycee had unexpectedly suffered an aneurysm and died.

There was an enormous outpouring of support from the online community. However, as gaps and contradictions in Debbie's story appeared, people slowly began to wonder if Kaycee had ever actually existed.

Ultimately, Debbie admitted that she had invented the entire story -- there was no Kaycee, no cancer, the whole thing had been a gigantic hoax. (and, parenthetically, I have to say that it's pretty impressive that Debbie not only maintained an ongoing fraud for years, but did it using a dial-up connection.) In her last post to the online community confessing what she had done, Debbie ended by saying: "The last thing I want to do is say that I'm sorry."

I'm sure she meant it in more ways than one.

Have you ever read someone's story on a blog or forum (no names, please) and suspected that it was was, well, not exactly true? What made you suspicious? And what do you think motivates people like this?

problem solved

Let's face it. Some days you feel uninspired. Or creativity-challenged. Or just plain lazy. Or you have something better to do with your time than craft witty little 140-character microposts for twitter. In the old days, you were pretty much stuck with cobbling together some lame update about your cat or, worse, leaving the same boring old status in place, dismaying all your loyal friends and followers.

But now, thanks to these handy update generators, you'll have an endless random stream of new twitter fodder at your fingertips. You'll never be at a loss for words again.

Please, don't all thank me at once.

out of character

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm just not that into memorials or mementoes or anniversaries. Part of it is my cold, flinty, two-sizes-too-small heart. And part of it is self-protection. Because sometimes, if you ignore a problem that you just can't deal with, it really does go away. Or at least dwindles to a manageable size.

Which means that these days, I must be a little less afraid of being overwhelmed by my feelings, because on Saturday, May 9th, 2009, I'm planning to drive all the way to Springfield, Vermont to take part in a walk for hope and remembrance for people who have been touched by the loss of a baby.

So, two questions: First, anyone want to meet me there? And, second, should I leave my real live baby at home?


eta: Take a look at the comments for some very thoughtful (and widely varying) responses.

small things

Quinoa is a staple food of Andes-dwellers, a member of the goosefoot family and chock-full of protein and manganese. But the most important thing about quinoa, at least for my purposes this week is that it's not one of the five forbidden grains (wheat, barley, rye, oats and spelt). Nor, according to most, though not all, authorities, is it kitniyot, foods like rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, sesame seeds and poppy seeds that are kinda sorta like the five forbidden grains and which, traditionally, Ashkenazi Jews avoid eating during the eight days of Passover.

So I've been eating a lot of quinoa this week. And it's crunchy and tasty, but basically pretty bland. Passover ends tonight at sunset. Which, according to the sites I've checked, occurs at 6:43 pm. That is, in approximately 12 hours. And ten minutes. Not that I'm counting or anything.

In other food-related news, I've finally joined a CSA,* something I've been meaning to do, ever since I learned from Magpie (can it really be nearly two years ago?) that there's one that has a drop off just down the block from my house. I've been checking my CSA's blog to see what kind of vegetables I can expect and, from their latest entry, I've learned that week they planted 10,000 (red and green) swiss chard plants.

So, what's on your (literal or figurative) plate? And do you happen to have any swiss chard recipes?



*Plug in your state or zip code (US only) to find a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm near you.

zomg

At the suggestion of Kathy McC and Marin, (thanks, guys!) I submitted my not-exactly-kosher-for-Passover coconut cake to Cake Wrecks, which, amazingly enough, featured it (along with a few other hilarious Passover cakes)

Do you think this counts as part of my fifteen minutes?

divided by two

We usually spend Easter with my stepbrother’s family, all of us around the big kitchen table, eating chocolate and jellybeans, talking about report cards and real estate. Not this year, though. And maybe never again. There were a whole series of vague and contradictory excuses, but finally, we've been told that after fifteen years and three kids, my stepbrother and his wife have decided to split up.

Now, sometimes divorce is inevitable and sometimes it’s the only possible solution and once in a while it’s the best thing for everyone involved. But often -- especially to those on the outside -- by which I mean everyone except the couple themselves -- it just seems enormously sad.

To be fair, I have no idea what issues they're facing or what solutions they've tried. And, to be honest, I don't really want to know. But I keep on thinking about that late August day so many years ago, when they stood on a hill by the sea, side by side, hand in hand, both tall, both happy. Her dress was white and her bouquet was blue, bluer than the sunlight-fractured waves that ridged the bay, bluer than the sky. They were so much in love that it hurt to look at them.

the passover gift: a tragedy in three acts

I. THE TASTY-LOOKING CAKE




II. THE WARM SENTIMENT ON THE CARD




III. THE FINE PRINT

party at niobe's place!

Even though I realize that it's a very bad idea for about a million different reasons (reason one being that I hate parties), I woke up this morning thinking, Gosh, wouldn't it be so much fun to have a blogger get-together at my house! And invite, like, everyone!

So, what are you planning to bring?

love and socks

Somehow Kristin at Dragondreamer's Lair knows that I have a unmanageable phobic reaction to don't particularly care for socks. The way they cling to your insteps! The (shudder) toe seams! The horror! The horror!*

Which is no doubt why, for the sock exchange masterminded by The Amazing Kym, I received, not socks, but a gorgeous scarf and hat, hand-knit (!) by Kristin.

Not only are they a lovely combination of colors, but, which you can't tell from this picture because of the way I've folded them, the stitches are all beautifully even. Unlike, for example, the quote scarf unquote that I'm pretty sure is the only thing I ever attempted to knit.

And when I pull the hat down over my ears and wrap the scarf around my neck, I feel warm and comforted. Which is the perfect metaphor for the community -- by which I mean all of you -- that I've found on the internet.

While not everyone's sock exchange photos have been posted yet, be sure to check out Kym's place this week for links to lots of socks and bloggy love.




*Why, yes, I do have, um, issues. What makes you ask?


eta: In the comments, both Charmy and Furrow confess that they too hate socks. (Well, tights, in Furrow's case, but close enough). Words cannot express how much I love you both. Because, honestly, most people just giggle and point.

ahead of schedule

Please stop by and welcome Basilbean's brand new son.

He came a little earlier than expected and isn't quite ready to come home, but, as Basilbean says, He is alive. He is beautiful.

bālāsana

While I was sitting at the kitchen table, I noticed that someone had left a yoga mat out on the back porch table. The ridges and valleys took on the shape of a topographical map, a desertscape, or perhaps the terraced sand after the tide goes out. I went outside, barefoot in the puddles and took pictures until it was too dark to see, but none of them truly captured the snake-black curves, the sheen of the rain.

word to the wise

When you're surfing the internets and come across things like this or
this, try not to forget what day it is. (and I don't mean Wednesday)

Any, uh, interesting information that you've found out there today?