more is less

If there were just one of them, measuring ahead, strong heartbeat, I like to think I'd be thrilled. Terrified, of course, since I know all the ways that things can still go wrong, but thrilled nonetheless.

And yet, what we have is one of them, measuring ahead, strong heartbeat and the possibility, however slight, of another, and what I feel is mostly sadness.

Yes, some of it is the same old grief, the grief that dulls all griefs that come after: I've lived through much worse than this, I say, after the first death, there is no other.

And some of it is just me thinking about the other one, about poor little B. The odds are very high that he won't make it. If you had to bet, the prudent thing to do would be to bet against him. But he's trying as hard as he possibly can. Poor, poor little B. I miss him already, and he's not even gone.

the big day (updated)

Ultrasound today. I'll update once I have news.

update: So, I don't know how I feel. For the moment, there are two of them and one looks right on track in terms of size (actually measuring ahead) and heartbeat. The other one has a good heartbeat, but is measuring small and (though I'm hoping against hope that I'm wrong) I'm thinking doesn't have much of a chance.

Okay, I lied. I do know how I feel. And it isn't good.

you say that like it's a bad thing

distraction

I suppose it says something about me (and, frankly, nothing good) that I really like the trippy sensations produced by staring for way too long at these animations. Maybe I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Try it. You are getting sleepy. Very, very sleepy. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You are falling into a deep, deep sleep. When you wake up, you will leave a comment on this post saying something nice about Niobe.

And (kind of based on the animation below) does anyone remember that toy from the 1970s that consisted of four silver balls, tied to strings and attached to a frame, which you would pull back (the balls, not the frame) then release so they would hit one another like tiny pendulums (pendula?), while you watched them swing back and forth and back and forth? Like, what the heck was it called?




eta: Newton's Cradle is apparently the (curiously apt) name I was looking for. Thank you, so, so much Jill, Betty M and Angie. And, because I know that you all want to rock your very own Newton's Cradle, while learning all about the conservation of momentum, here's a link to the interactive online version.

My only suggestion is not to create one with too many balls because, just like the real Newton's Cradle, you'll spend more time untangling than playing.

(both animations are public domain images from wikipedia commons)

in reverse

Thanks so much for all your encouraging and thoughtful comments in response to my last post. I am, well, stressed. So stressed that I'm having trouble actually concentrating on the many fun and educational things I was planning to write about.

Sue asks: how are you feeling about the possibility of twins?

And, as you can probably guess, the answer is thrilled and (mostly) terrified. But I'd be equally thrilled and (slightly less) terrified with a singleton.

Shamela (who has a great name with a great literary reference, but is apparently blog-less*) asks a question (well, really, two questions): What happened to the old Niobe? How come you're no longer cursed?

I wish I knew, Shamela. I wish I knew.

*blog-free?

wait and see

The short version: encouraging signs, but too early to tell.

The slightly less short version: two gestational sacs, two yolk sacs, one heartbeat, but, since it's only approximately 5w4d, they were unable to get measurements or to track the actual heart rate.

The next step: Repeat ultrasound in about two weeks. At that point, we should be able to get a much better read on whether this is a viable pregnancy.

The conclusion (couched in Magic 8 Ball speak*): Reply hazy, try again. Or, perhaps, better not to tell you now, depending on your point of view.



*If you're wondering what lies in your future, just click on the link and the Magic 8 Ball will answer your question. Magically.

first ultrasound tomorrow

And I'm so stressed, I'm having trouble breathing. Luckily, the plan is for me to be distracted by dinner tonight with some second cousins who are unexpectedly in town and who I haven't seen or spoken to in something like 15 years.

I certainly know what I won't be talking about. But I'd very much welcome any suggestions for topics of conversation. Because otherwise, I'm going to have to fall back on the traditional "hot enough for you" and "it's not the heat, it's the humidity."

what i did this summer

Was it only a few brief months ago that I was visited by an ineffable frisson of dread upon learning, via its blog, that our CSA has planted ten-freaking-thousand swiss chard plants?

But, thanks to your encouragement and, after learning the secret of How To Cook Swiss Chard (chop off the stems and sauté them with garlic for a few minutes before you add the leaves), I soon began looking forward to our weekly swiss chard deliveries.

In fact, yesterday, I was so disappointed to find our fridge wholly barren of swiss chard, that I pushed the stroller all the way to the farmers' market down by the river, stopping only for an iced latte, and purchased two bunches (at $2 a piece, in case you're wondering).

What I did this summer:



So, in one sentence, what did you do this summer?


*writing paper background image from First School

thrilled

Please stop by Henry Street for some wonderful news! It's been a long, hard road, but it looks like they've finally arrived at their happy beginning.

something fishy (part II)

something fishy (part I)

The post above is a virtual fish tank By which I mean it's a virtual tank full of virtual fish. Ravenous virtual fish who, if you click on the tank, will gobble up tiny pieces of virtual fishfood.

I can't remember where I saw it initially (leave a comment if it was on your blog, so I can give you full credit), but if you want your own virtual fish you can find them here

Just for those of you who didn't read the first few sentences. This is a fish tank. Those are fish. Poissons. Fisk. рыбы. Pescados. And please, please get your mind out of the gutter. Because it's blocking my view.

dcxcv

just asking

While I sit waiting as patiently as I can for tomorrow's beta (please let it double), here's a boring mom-type question of the kind I usually try not to ask. At seven months, Cole is kinda large -- okay, really large -- about 29 inches and just under 20 pounds. While he still needs to be in a rear-facing car seat, he's just about reached the weight limit on the one we have.

Any suggestions on brands, preferably not too expensive or hideous in appearance and definitely reversible to forward-facing once he reaches a year or so?

Many thanks for all the helpful comments and suggestions!

department of good news and (very) bad visual puns

I'll update as soon as we have the beta number. Is it okay to say that I love you, Trish!


eta: and for those who are sitting on the edge of your seats, the actual number was 325, which we're completely thrilled about. Now, on to the next hurdle....

true/false

Time to spill. Leave your guilty secrets in the comments. Be sure to choose the anonymous option. If there are enough comments, I'll leave (anonymously, of course) a few tasty confessions of my own.

And here's the twist: while true confessions are, as always, welcome, this month you should feel free to also add confessions that are, shall we say, something less than entirely accurate.

If you decide to leave a not-quite-true confession, make it as over the top as you'd like, but try to add at least a thin veneer of plausibility. I'm curious to see if anyone can tell the difference.

Ready...set....go

indian summer

(picture from the tamil version of wikipedia)

Right now, Gray is -- almost literally -- on the other side of the world, in Tamil Nadu, on the Coromandel Coast, in Chennai, the city formerly known as Madras. Tamil Nadu, Coromandel Coast, Chennai the names shimmer like a sari shot with silver threads.

Reading the English language version of the Chennai newspaper, I find that Chennai has adopted a policy of handing out gold rings to parents who give their babies Tamil names. The website of the Corporation of Chennai, the city's governing body, provides links to all sorts of civic services including online burial and "freezer box" booking, helpfully illustrated with a little picture of a cartoon coffin.

In fifth or sixth grade, Gray had a social studies book that discussed the "vibrant, yet mysterious, culture" of the Mayas (or maybe it was the Aztecs). Ever since then, we've used the term with self-conscious irony to describe any aspect of anything that's even the least bit unusual. As in: the fact that we don't happen to own a microwave is part of our family's vibrant, yet mysterious, culture.

Because, while I'm a sucker for the charm of the unfamiliar and exotic, I realize that my attitude betrays a certain provincialism. As if my life is uninflected, ordinary, and everything else is somehow "other." As if the office where I'm sitting, typing words in American English and looking out on the harbor of an old East Coast city, is the pivot on which the narrow world turns.

What "exotic" place have you always wanted to visit?

tie a string around your finger

Don't forget that this coming Friday will feature the August edition of True Confessions, where you, the readers, reveal all. This time, I'm thinking I'll introduce a slight twist, so stay tuned.

And if you find you just can't wait for the bound to be oh-so-juicy results, take a look back at prior commenters' no-longer-secret secrets. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll learn. Mostly things you don't really want to learn. But still.

fun and games

I realize it's probably too early in the WTB* to be discouraged, but I'm feeling a bit down nonetheless.

Still, as they say, the show must go on and if you've got some time to waste (and if you don't, why are you reading this blog anyway?) here's an online dart game that may amuse you. Like most things, it's not as easy as it looks.



*Wait til beta. Or WUB (wait until beta), as Mel calls it. Or 2WW.

mmmm....chocolate

If you're craving chocolate-y goodness, head over to the Online Nanny's place and leave a comment on her giveaway post.

Contest ends 8/7, so enter early and often.*



*Play fair, though. The "often" part applies only if you follow the rules for multiple entries, as explained in ON's post.